What a wonderful thing for that staff to do! I'm glad that Lola visited you in your dreams, i hope it comforted you to know she is well. My heart breaks for what you are going through, I know, because I share your pain.
Thank for your kind thoughts, di and bob, I do appreciate that.What a wonderful thing for that staff to do! I'm glad that Lola visited you in your dreams, i hope it comforted you to know she is well. My heart breaks for what you are going through, I know, because I share your pain.
Antonio, I just read your story about Lola, what a touching one. She was a lucky cat to have you as a companion and I am sure you did everything you could, you devoted your time to her. Sometimes time is short, even after a well lived live of almost 17 years. I really felt just like you wrote it in the paragraph above, my Kitty was everything to me, it ruled my world and he also was very talkative and could communicate very well. Sometimes people don't understand this type of bond between humans and animals, I sure do believe they exist and when they do, they are very very special. You had your special time with Lola and it will last forever, nothing can take it away from you.I devoted my whole life to her, she was my first thought in the morning, almost the only one during the day, the last one before sleeping at night. And I am sure I was her only thought. She was with me always, at my feet when I was around the house, on my lap when I was at the table or on the couch to watch the TV, outside the bathroom door crying to call me out. We had our way of communicating, Lola was very talkative, I could ask her questions and get a proper answer. She always let me know what she needed. I was her only point of interest in her world and life. She wanted me next to her when she was eating. she let me do any kind of therapy to her. I could give her injections, pills, tablets, drops, nebulizing and much more without complaining. She let me kiss her on her mouth and I could walk her on the street on her leash.
Lola would not be in heaven if she were angry at you. Why do you do this to yourself? Forgiveness is not necessary because there is nothing to forgive. Beating yourself up will not bring her back, nor does it honor her memory. You loved her enough to let her go, and she thanks you for that. She fought hard, but her body was failing. It was time to get rid of it. Lola is healthy now, never to be sick again. And that is what you did for her when you let her go.Thanks Meelasmom, your words are a strong support, but I keep thinking that she didn't want me to do to her what I did, though there wasn't any other chance to help her.
I had to put to sleep another much beloved cat three years and a half ago and he came visit me in my dreams four times, last time was just one week ago, the first three times right after he died.
Right now it's like Lola was next to me, calling me to be picked up and laid on my lap. She used to ask me to pick her up because she wasn't able to jump on me anymore. I feel her next to me right now, I almost feel her gentle paw tapping on my leg.
What if they don't forgive us?
Lola is alive, but her body is not. That is an important differentiation to make. Physics teaches that energy never dies; it changes form. The spirit (energy) that animated Lola's body is very much alive in another dimension -- call it heaven, the other side, the Rainbow Bridge -- whatever you like. But the English language is deceptive when it says someone dies. No, the body dies. That person is not at the cemetery in the casket -- only the body is, and it has been cast off because it is no longer needed. So Lola is very much alive in spirit.I think guilt is a part of the grieving process. I agree that it does no good to go all the could haves, should haves, there is no way to change the past, no matter how much we want it. I truly think we feel guilty because we are alive and they are not. But I do know we are left behind to honor them by passing on what they taught us, how to love. The memories we have are not all good, it is up to us to emphasize the good and try not to dwell on the bad. But any memory of them keeps them alive in our hearts. I still relive that final day 5 years later, there is no way I can forget it, you just learn to live with the pain. But you DO learn to live again, and be happy again, it just takes time to learn how. My heart goes out to everyone living with this pain, you just take one day at a time.