My sweet girl is leaving me soon...

[stephanie junca]

It's so unfortunate that we as pet parents have to go through this with our beloved animals. I have let go of 3 pets previously. One was our first family dog who had severe hip displaysia. He was only 9 months old; just a baby. I remember I cried for days after it happened. I was only 7 years old and my parents were very honest with me about it. After that I decided that I wanted to become a vet so I could figure out ways of preventing stuff like that from happening.

Because my dad had bought the pup from an AKC certified breeder, they gave us another pup free of charge. He was completely different and had behavioral issues. We had him for almost 5 years and then we moved to a new city and because we had to move into an apartment my dad left him behind with a friend who had always admired him. Well, because he had behavior issues he attacked my dad's friend several times and he ended up putting him down because he was so aggressive. I'm not sure I completely believe the story but I wasn't there. I was totally heartbroken then as well. I was just 12.

Then a few years later my sister went away to college and her and her flatmates decided to all get kitties. 4 little kitties from a shelter. They had no idea what they were doing of course so two of the kitties died. Then my sister moved back home after a semester and brought Paprika with her. She was only 2-3 months old and so sick. I nursed her back to health and we immediately bonded. My parents didn't want another pet in the house so I begrudgingly started looking for someone who might be interested. Then one night Paprika crawled up onto my dad while he was napping on the couch and fell asleep snuggled up in the crook of his neck. My dad woke up all surprised and his heart immediately melted. Of course she was granted acceptance into the family. She has been my kitty since then. 16.5 years!

Later on when I was in college, I went away to be a counselor at a summer camp. It was a zoo camp and they had several exotic animals. One in particular was a hedgehog who had 4 little babies. They went up for adoption at the end of the summer so I bought one and took her home with me. Unfortunately in the state where I lived, hedgehogs are illegal so I had to give her away to a sanctuary where they were legal. I was very heartbroken as well but glad I had my Paprika waiting for me at home.

Pet loss no matter what kind is never easy but I fear that the loss of my kitty will be the hardest. She has been with me the longest and has endured a lot of stuff with me. The thought of having to decide her end, when and how, has not been easy on me. I still feel like I can't make the final decision yet because I don't know how. I know she is really sick and I can't let her syffer anymore so I have to be brave for her and just decide. It's just a horrible thing that I guess we sign up for when we become pet parents. It's not easy but it is a part of life [emoji]128532[/emoji]

 

[zed xyzed]

Thinking of you and your sweet girl 

 

[catwoman707]

I'm wondering if your girl is gone now or not just yet?

I have some things to say that might be some bit of help in getting you the strength you need.

 

[stephanie junca]

Thanks for following up!

She is still with me thankfully! Over the weekend she started acting like her old self again [emoji]128568[/emoji]... she has been eating all her food and purirng and all cuddly and loving again. I guess she was just having a bad week. Not sure how long this good phase will last but I'll take it.

 

[zed xyzed]

I am so glad she is having better days. I hope you have many many more 

 

[stephanie junca]

It really is so hard to know with her illness... CKD cats can have so many ups and downs.

I really do appreciate everyone's kind words through this difficult time. All the knowledge and kindness that has been shared with me has really made a difference. Thanks everyone!

 

[ginny]

So glad to hear she's doing better!

 

[catwoman707]

I read through your thread last night and so sorry for what you and Paprika are going through.

3 months ago I lost my heart and soul kitty, my avatar pic, but can't talk about it. I'm still not coping so well with it.

I also have a 16 year old who has CKD, hyperthyroidism and just recently diagnosed with high blood pressure/hypertension, and she has progressed to the point where I know she doesn't have long, but do think unless something sudden happens she has maybe a few more months.

You're right, my Simone also has what looks like really bad days, then bing!, well.....okay, feeling good today?! Unpredictable for sure.

What I wanted to say is, to me it would be so much harder to make an appt to take her in.

Take it day by day, be thankful she is still there and love her like crazy. One day you will see crystal clear, it's time.

When that day comes, maybe it will be of some help to get the strength needed if you think of this.....cats don't fear death like we do. It is a natural process. They don't fear the unknown, or think how much they will miss seeing us each day and all of the years and memories, that's what we do.

Our mourning is for us, our loss. How empty life feels when their presence is gone, etc.

But what we can control is whether and how long they suffer. As long as your cat, regardless of how thin and weak she seems, if you see that she enjoys life still, she has more life to live, but if she is purely existing and miserable, ask yourself if she could talk would she choose to be done?

Are you keeping her with you for her or you?

It's our final gift of love we can give them for all of the years they gave us.

You will know when she is ready, you question it now because she is possibly not quite there. When she is it will be very clear, you'll see.

 

[stephanie junca]

Thanks!

Yeah, people keep asking me if I'm keeping her around for me and therefore prolonging her suffering. I've thought on that a lot and of course I am partly being a little selfish here. I don't know how to let go exactly. But, then she surprises me and acts like her okd self again. Eating all her food, being silly and playful, coming to me for snuggles and pets. I feel like I need to wait a little longer. Hopefully it will be a while but I can only hope of course...

 

[ginny]

Thanks!

Yeah, people keep asking me if I'm keeping her around for me and therefore prolonging her suffering. I've thought on that a lot and of course I am partly being a little selfish here. I don't know how to let go exactly. But, then she surprises me and acts like her okd self again. Eating all her food, being silly and playful, coming to me for snuggles and pets. I feel like I need to wait a little longer. Hopefully it will be a while but I can only hope of course...

That makes me angry!  Tell those people it's NONE of their business.  You are her "mom" and YOU will be the one to make that decision when the time comes, not them.  Grrr.  

Like catwoman said if there's any doubt that probably means it's not time yet.  

 

[cataan]

What many people don't understand about animals is that they desire life and tolerate discomfort much more than people do.  Few people would gnaw off their ankle to free themselves from a trap -- a trapped animals is far more likely to do so.  When an animal has a limb amputated, it is amazing how quickly they learn to walk without it and behave just as they did before -- people would generally be lamenting, crying, feeling sorry for themselves. It's a different mindset.

IMO, unless a pet is refusing to eat, drink, and move, it likely will and wants to continue living.

I've mentioned a cat I used to have who had terminal heart disease.  The day before he died, he refused -- by biting -- to take his meds, which really weren't helping anymore.  While he had always fussed a bit about the meds, he had NEVER bitten anyone, and the next day all he could do was lay on his side looking sad.  I've always wished we had euthanized him the day before or the next morning, rather than waiting until that night, but he made it clear it was time.

 

[Antonio65]

Thanks!

Yeah, people keep asking me if I'm keeping her around for me and therefore prolonging her suffering. I've thought on that a lot and of course I am partly being a little selfish here. I don't know how to let go exactly. But, then she surprises me and acts like her okd self again. Eating all her food, being silly and playful, coming to me for snuggles and pets. I feel like I need to wait a little longer. Hopefully it will be a while but I can only hope of course...

This is exactly my situation, someone keeps telling that I should put an end to my cat's suffering, but most of the time she's doing well.

And sometimes I ask myself whether I'm blind to it all because I don't want to let her go. But then I look at her scratching her pole, basking in the sun, following me around, curling up and purring on my lap and  I understand that probably I'm not that blind.

My cat went through very bad moments, when I thought it was absolutely time, but fortunately I waited one day more and she surprised me... The first time it happened it was two days after Christmas, so having waited the first time gave me two and a half months more with her so far, and I'm glad I had been doubtful.

If I had listened to other people I'd have missed all the beautiful days since New Year's day.

 

[stephanie junca]

Exactly! It does make me mad sometimes that my family is being like this. I got a text yesterday from my sister asking me this and I tried explaining to her why I decided to wait and she still thinks I should do it. Her dogs are still young (3 and 6) so she doesn't understand yet but she will eventually. We all have to go through it as pet parents.

I feel like my boyfriend and friends are being more supportive than my family which is odd to me considering Paprika lived most of her life alongside them. I guess the fact I live on the other side of the country they are not as close to this as my boyfriend and friends are but still.

 

[ginny]

My sisters were the same way.  One literally tried shaming me into making the decision.  

 

[artiemom]

My family is the same way. In December and January they were telling me to put Artie down. I could not do it. I saw a ton of life in his eyes, face, and soul. They think I am crazy for spending the amount of time, expense, and medication  on him. 

It can be very hard. Only we know in our hearts what is going on... perhaps we may hold on a bit longer, but we want to be certain.. 

We need to be certain. Only we know our babies.. we see, live with them moment to moment, and we understand them, so much better than others. 

To me it always seems that the less income you have, the more you give to your babies.  The people with a lot of money, tend to not go above and beyond for their little ones.. just my opinion. they seem to be less tolerant to providing life sustaining care... 

 

[stephanie junca]

To me it always seems that the less income you have, the more you give to your babies.  The people with a lot of money, tend to not go above and beyond for their little ones.. just my opinion. they seem to be less tolerant to providing life sustaining care... 

I'm not sure that is always the case. I grew up pretty poor and my parents were always pretty quick to put our pets down mainly because we didn't have enough money to provide the care they needed. Today, I am pretty well off on my own and can provide the care my kitty needs to extend her life. So, I think it might be more personal and cultural than having to do with amount of income.

 

[mubin]

Hi Stephanie, I'd thought I'd just share my experience dealing with my own loss.

I had Nicky for about 16 years. She never had any major health issues but around November last year, I noticed she got very weak and brought her to the vet.

The vet did some tests and his prognosis was very grim. Her kidneys were failing and he told me that he did not think that Nicky would last the week. He suggested that we leave Nicky overnight so that they could put her on IV fluids and flush her system but warned that she might not survive the night. He also said that we might want to consider putting her down.

We left Nicky overnight at the vet but we quickly realised that it was not ideal. Nicky was put in a small metal cage and surrounded by other pets, in an unfamiliar environment. We wanted her to live the rest of her life in the comfort of our home.

For us, putting her down was never an option as long as she was not in pain. We talked to the vet to find out what was the best way to ensure that she was not in pain. The vet advised us to bring her in daily for IV fluids and to hydrate her as she wasn't drinking. At home, we syringe fed her meals and medication.

After a few weeks, she appeared to get stronger and we brought her to the vet less frequently, from every alternate day to twice a week. She seemed to get used to the trips to the vet. We were fortunate to be able to afford her treatment and medication.

I remember a friend who told me that it was cruel to prolong Nicky's suffering and I should have put her down a couple of days after I saw the vet. Nicky eventually passed away on 31 January 2017, 2 months after the vet had advised us to consider putting her down.

I don't mean to suggest not to put your cat down. I fully appreciate that every situation is unique and at the end of the day, you have to make that decision yourself. It is a difficult and heart-wrenching decision to make and I wish you and Paprika all the best. Do cherish every moment you have with Paprika.

I sincerely wish you and Paprika all the best.