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- Mar 1, 2014
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Hello,
I am a first time cat owner and I don't understand why my resident cat, Mindy, has been acting differently. I adopted her one month ago from a no kill shelter and she was four months old at the time. She had a sister, but I couldn't adopt them both at the time. In the one month I had her, we bonded and she would follow me everywhere, sleep next to me at night, and come for cuddles in the morning. She never was a lap kitty, but still had a way of showing me that she loved me. I work about 8-9 hours away from home and I would feel guilty leaving her alone all that time. I could also tell that she was getting lonely and really missed her sister. So, one month later, I adopted Comet who is four months old. He has the same energy as she does and they became instant playmates on day one. By evening, they were both cuddling and she would groom him. He became her first love and I can tell that she is really happy, but now the roles have switched! He's the one who follows me around, watches me, sleeps with me (and bonus: is a lap kitty), but she tends to keep her distance. She only greets me when I walk through the door from work, she'll occasionally blow me eye kisses, and doesn't mind if I pet her, but she doesn't come for morning cuddles anymore. He is her main focus and her eyes are always fixated on him and all she cares about is what he's doing. It's funny because even though he likes her and enjoys the company, he does tend to do his own thing (e.g. play alone) or come to me. However, when I leave for work, they are cuddled and spend the whole day napping together.
What I don't understand is why she can't follow the lead and come to me, too, like Comet. I make a point to reach out to both of them equally and show them love. I try to pick her up and put her on the bed so she knows she's welcome, but the moment I turn my back to get Comet, she's jumped off. I feel hurt and abandoned because she is my first cat and animal that I've ever had and it's difficult because I know how she used to be and what she is not now. I find myself crying and wondering whether or not I did the right thing.
I should mention that I've only had Comet for a week. Maybe it's premature to worry and she'll warm up to her new environment and eventually come to me? I read somewhere else on here that bonding can take up to months! The thought of that breaks my heart and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to ease the abandonment or help her re-bond with me.....that's if she ever will!!! My biggest fear was that Mindy would stop loving me and I hate to admit or think that this would be the case. All the advice I kept getting at the time was to get two kitties and now that I did, I'm happy that she has a playmate, but I feel left out.
Please let me know your thoughts and advice if you've ever experienced this! I would really appreciate it.
I am a first time cat owner and I don't understand why my resident cat, Mindy, has been acting differently. I adopted her one month ago from a no kill shelter and she was four months old at the time. She had a sister, but I couldn't adopt them both at the time. In the one month I had her, we bonded and she would follow me everywhere, sleep next to me at night, and come for cuddles in the morning. She never was a lap kitty, but still had a way of showing me that she loved me. I work about 8-9 hours away from home and I would feel guilty leaving her alone all that time. I could also tell that she was getting lonely and really missed her sister. So, one month later, I adopted Comet who is four months old. He has the same energy as she does and they became instant playmates on day one. By evening, they were both cuddling and she would groom him. He became her first love and I can tell that she is really happy, but now the roles have switched! He's the one who follows me around, watches me, sleeps with me (and bonus: is a lap kitty), but she tends to keep her distance. She only greets me when I walk through the door from work, she'll occasionally blow me eye kisses, and doesn't mind if I pet her, but she doesn't come for morning cuddles anymore. He is her main focus and her eyes are always fixated on him and all she cares about is what he's doing. It's funny because even though he likes her and enjoys the company, he does tend to do his own thing (e.g. play alone) or come to me. However, when I leave for work, they are cuddled and spend the whole day napping together.
What I don't understand is why she can't follow the lead and come to me, too, like Comet. I make a point to reach out to both of them equally and show them love. I try to pick her up and put her on the bed so she knows she's welcome, but the moment I turn my back to get Comet, she's jumped off. I feel hurt and abandoned because she is my first cat and animal that I've ever had and it's difficult because I know how she used to be and what she is not now. I find myself crying and wondering whether or not I did the right thing.
I should mention that I've only had Comet for a week. Maybe it's premature to worry and she'll warm up to her new environment and eventually come to me? I read somewhere else on here that bonding can take up to months! The thought of that breaks my heart and I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to ease the abandonment or help her re-bond with me.....that's if she ever will!!! My biggest fear was that Mindy would stop loving me and I hate to admit or think that this would be the case. All the advice I kept getting at the time was to get two kitties and now that I did, I'm happy that she has a playmate, but I feel left out.
Please let me know your thoughts and advice if you've ever experienced this! I would really appreciate it.
