My New Kitten Just Will Not Let Me Pet Him

[MikeAW2010]

4 MO old dilluted orange tabby.
Before he was homed, he and his litter were founded as feral strays and orphaned by a care taker who eventually gave them away.

He is an absolute cute and hyper little guy and he takes very much to my much older 7 year old cats who for the most part are okay with him.

He will let me play with him, as in with a toy mouse, or even my hand or arm sometimes.
He has no hesitation about letting me feed him.
Other than that though I am pretty much incognito to him. He will never come to me if I call his name unless I have food.
Very rarely will he purr if I pet or rub him
If I try to pet him on the ground he will just go around me. If I pick him up he will generally "tolerate" it for a moment and occasionally purr but after that he wants down.

Whats odd though is, he's very affectionate to my other cats which I thought to be least likely.. He goes up to them and rubs up against them, lays and sleeps with them, and plays with them.

Is there anything I can do?

 

[RajaNMizu]

Hi MikeAW2010
I think you're making good progress. How long have you had the kitten? Any idea how long the kitten had to spend with his mama and siblings?
I've had my girls for about 7 months. They were about 4 months old when we adopted them. Raja was and still is a cuddlebug. Mizu initially was not. She's way too busy being curious, playful and investigating things. She still is this way for the most part but it took at least five months before she'd curl up in someone's lap or not slink away after more than a stroke or two. We didn't push it much so that's my advice. Don't give up but don't pursue it beyond a small pet here and there.

 

[susanm9006]

Best way to help him understand that your touch is wonderful is to pet and hold him when he is very sleepy or asleep. Scoop him up and stroke him til he falls asleep and then continue to hold him while he snoozes. Most kittens and cats love to have their noses slowly stroked from tip up to forehead and with kittens it’s the best way to get them to relax and go to sleep.

 

[ArtNJ]

Kittens have ants in their pants, no time for cuddles. That is why, as Susan mentioned, it often starts with petting when they are sleepy. Kittens will often develop a special spot where they allow petting, like the bed, the couch, behind your head on the chair or even weirder spots like beside the bathtub when your bathing. Not something I've ever done with a cat that didn't yet have a spot, but you could potentially encourage the creation of a special spot, bed would be a good choice since its usually quiet and the kitten won't associate with anything scary. If you don't ever read/internet in the bed, then a couch in the living room. Once you pick a spot, make a call noise, shake the treat bag, tap the spot and give the cat treats there 2x a day. Once the cat likes going to the spot, let him chill there, and eventually try gently petting. As I mentioned, never tried this with a cat that didn't yet have any spot, but its logical it would work -- having a special spot really helps a new addition feel comfortable.

Another tip is not to force picking up or putting on the lap. You might think you can teach him that way, but it doesn't work. You have to let him be the boss of the process.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I'll just add that you're doing better than you think you are! This is a feral-born kitten, and he tolerates you! You can encourage him by getting down on his level. Sit on the floor for awhile every day, and either talk with him or read aloud. Standing humans are enormous in a kitten's eyes. Getting low and letting him hear a soft, gentle voice can only do good things!