I know how hard it is, many of us here know. I will say this again, none of this is your fault.
I have been following this thread but haven't posted yet. I echo what denice said, please do not blame yourself. We are their caregivers and you have gone above and beyond to care for her. You have followed the vet's instructions, done your research and given her all the love and affection anyone could possibly bestow upon her. By that act alone you should not feel guilty.I don’t know how to process this very rapid deterioration other than to blame myself.
I think that is a really normal reaction to have, T thekittycatz . I definitely had those thoughts after losing my sweet Gwennie in April. Just because it's normal doesn't make it true. You aren't a mind reader or future teller, and unfortunately that is what perfectly caring for a cat requires.I don’t know how to process this very rapid deterioration other than to blame myself.
It sounds like you are talking about letting her go. Cats don't 'reason' the way we do. They are very much 'in the moment'. If you decide to let her go she isn't going to be thinking in terms of something you are doing to her. To be honest she isn't going to know what is being done. If you do decide to do this I would recommend that you be with her. It will make it easier for both of you. It is very peaceful she will simply go to sleep and slip away.I’m terrified of doing this. I don’t want her to think I don’t love her and why is mommy doing this to me. I’ve fought all this time to make her better. I don’t want her to think for one second I don’t love her