my life feels empty

[pamela]

OHH I UNDERSTAND! I went thru this a couple years ago...

I come from a place where women tend to get married between the ages of 19-23 so if u're over 23 yrs old and doesn't have a boyfriend or hubby, something's wrong with u. I am now 32 years old and hopelessly SINGLE!

I used to feel sooooooo TERRIBLE about this aned believed there was something wrong with me. I also would complain about how hard it is to find someone good especially someone who knows sign language because I'm deaf. There aren't many deaf guys out there and most of the deaf smart guys tend to be taken and there aren't many hearing guys who knows sign language OR are willing to learn!

About 7 years ago, I thought to myself, my life isn't the life I wanted. I had lots of friends, I went out almost every weekend partying with my friends but RARELY dated. I have never had a relationship. The furthest I've ever gotten was hmm maybe 4 dates before he falls for another gal, the attraction fades, or just something happen!

I thought to myself, hey, I have a GREAT family, I'm in good health, I have some good friends, why should I be depressed that I'm single? Life is short! I vowed to live the life to the most and not worry about what I don't have. I decided to focus on the positive side of being single and not bemoan the fact that I'm not married or have kids.

I decided to go on a mission for my church and focus on the lord and not myself. Let me tell u, that was the BEST 1 1/2 yrs of my life! I've met soo many different people from various backgrounds.. It really made me realize how blessed I am to have evverything I have- a wonderful family, my health, and helped me to stop being so selfish and think more about others. After my mission, I went back home and after a year noticed i was starting to feel down again due to the lifestyle (27 and still single- something's wrong honey!

) and I didn't want that sooooooooo I decided to move and finish my schooling! Now.. This was a very big decision for me because NONE of my family has ever left home single and have not moved away further than 1-2 hours away. I moved from UTAH to DC! That's practically from the west cost to the East coast!

I went to Gallaudet University which is the only university for the Deaf. I just fell in love with the lifestyle out here- there's many single people and it's not weird if u're unmarried at the age of 32!

Now, I've graduated with my BA and now am working full time at Gallaudet University as the Employer Recruiter which means I work with various employers to set up interviews for potential employment and internship opportunities. I HATE to say this but I agree with someone who said this in a posting to this thread-

Start looking for a job, why would you think a job that calls you for an interview would sit around and wait for you to come back from 'vacation'?!! Anyone here experienced that? That would be great to tell a job who wants an interview 'uh, yeah I'm on vacation, can you wait for me to get back?' haaaa!!! That's the real world!!!!

You have to SHOW YOU really want the job! I have talked with many various employers about what they are looking for with potential interviewees and if u'd like some tips, let me know and I will be more than happy to share some.

I am still single- my last date was hmmm probably about 2 years ago!

But hey, I am now really enjoying my life. I have a great family (who complains about me still living out East and haven't gotten married and given birth to at least 2 kids!

), I am in pretty good health, I have some GREAT friends, I have a good job, I am almost done with my MA degree in Supervision and Administration, I have 4 great cat who I adore and I live in AMERICA!

Recently, I went back home (utah) to visit family/friends and when I saw some people, their first question was "have u gotten married?"! My answer was "heck no! I am enjoying being single at this point."

I have decided that if I have not met anyone who I want to spend my life and eternity with, that's okay because I still have a good life. If I do find someone who is insane enough to want to marry me

, and who I LOVE, YES, I'd marry him! Also, my biological clock is ticking (sorry Kev but there ARE some biological clocks ticking!

) but I prefer to be single and HAPPY than be married unhappy and bring poor children into a dyfunctional marriage. I want to be sure that I and my "future" husband are happy in our marriage before we can provide a great home to children.

I agree, u need to make some changes in ur life. Do it! Remember that u are still young and there's PLENTY of time. I know u don't feel like there's plenty of time but I promise u in 5-10 yrs, u'll realize that there IS plenty of time.. We all have "blue" days and I still have them. Some days I feel there IS something wrong with me since I have not dated BUT I try not to let that pull me down.

You will have some blue days being single AND being married. Everyone have them..

Also, try to look at the positive side of being single.. Let me help u.

Freedom to do whatever I want whenever..
More money..
Ability to move whereever I want without worrying about whether it'd affect the other person's life.
I don't have to worry about my appearance at home (living single).
Only responsibility to worry about is the cats..

There's more pros but I'll stop with these.
Hope this helps? Hope so!
Go out there and BELIEVE that ur life is great and it will be! Hang in there.

 

[auroraviva]

(((HUGS))) Everything will work itself out.

As far as the job thing goes . . . the internet is amazing, like everyone else said. Just start looking and keep your options open, something will come along.


As far as finding "the right One" goes . . . I'm young, younger that you, but I might have a piece or two of insight. I am engaged to a wonderful guy named Alex, he and I will both be twenty next year when we marry; we were high school sweet-hearts. And sometimes I get scared about whether or not we are meant for eachother, and whether we'll last. But then, who will ever know? I do know that 1) You will never know everything, and 2) You should never try to wait til you know everything to make a move. So, I follow my heart, do the best I can, and pray it all works out. I love him dearly, we have a lot in common, but also have some interesting differences. And our morals and values match 100%. We are also going to pre-marital counseling, to help make sure our marriage has a firm foundation. And that's really all I can do.

I realize that I am very lucky to have found Alex at such a young age. I believe in soul-mates, though, and if you wait and are patient, you'll find yours.

((HUGS))

 

[kateang]

anna,

chinese have had this old mythical story which i wish to share with u.. pang gu created the world and when he started to create man, he splitted the one man he created into a woman and a man. That's why in our lives, we need to find our rightful other halves to make us complete. Let's just put it this way: we will have somebody else to make our lives complete but even if we do not find the other half, we are still able to carry on life on our own...