This morning. He had FIP and I knew he didn't have forever but I am still so devastated.
Last night when I got home from work he seemed a little more lethargic than usual and I had to coax him to eat. He tried to jump up on the couch to sit with me but he missed, poor thing, so I picked up and we got into bed. He slept beside me on the pillow with his cheek resting against mine. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was sitting on my chest.
He gave me the look. I am sure some of you know.
"Mommy, I love you and I know you tried. It's okay. I am ready to go."
I told him okay. I told him I would make the appointment in the morning.
But I never got the chance. I woke up a few more times to find him sleeping at my ankles and wetting on the bed (this has been happening since he became ill, I thought nothing of it).
I vaguely heard him leave the bed. A little while later my alarm went off and I got up to find him just lying sprawled out on the floor, totally limp.
I picked him up and I cradled him in my arms. For a few minutes, I allowed us to get back in the bed. I knew it was the end. He purred and I gave him kisses and told him how much I loved him.
I put him in the carrier and took him to our regular vet who is just around the corner but there was no one there. The receptionist said no vet would be there until 10. I knew he didn't have that much time and I didn't want him to suffer, so I took him to another vet a few blocks up.
He only cried once in his carrier. I stopped, knelt down so he could see that I was still there.
When I got to the other vet, they were very kind but told me there was nothing they could do now and I needed to say goodbye.
They took him away to put the IV in and then they brought him back wrapped up in a blanket. I held him in my arms and gave him kisses, told him how much I loved him, thank you for letting me be your mommy and thank you for being my only true friend.
His name was Lux and he was a beautiful silver Bengal, just six months old.
I am heartbroken. I don't know how to be okay.
Last night when I got home from work he seemed a little more lethargic than usual and I had to coax him to eat. He tried to jump up on the couch to sit with me but he missed, poor thing, so I picked up and we got into bed. He slept beside me on the pillow with his cheek resting against mine. I woke up in the middle of the night and he was sitting on my chest.
He gave me the look. I am sure some of you know.
"Mommy, I love you and I know you tried. It's okay. I am ready to go."
I told him okay. I told him I would make the appointment in the morning.
But I never got the chance. I woke up a few more times to find him sleeping at my ankles and wetting on the bed (this has been happening since he became ill, I thought nothing of it).
I vaguely heard him leave the bed. A little while later my alarm went off and I got up to find him just lying sprawled out on the floor, totally limp.
I picked him up and I cradled him in my arms. For a few minutes, I allowed us to get back in the bed. I knew it was the end. He purred and I gave him kisses and told him how much I loved him.
I put him in the carrier and took him to our regular vet who is just around the corner but there was no one there. The receptionist said no vet would be there until 10. I knew he didn't have that much time and I didn't want him to suffer, so I took him to another vet a few blocks up.
He only cried once in his carrier. I stopped, knelt down so he could see that I was still there.
When I got to the other vet, they were very kind but told me there was nothing they could do now and I needed to say goodbye.
They took him away to put the IV in and then they brought him back wrapped up in a blanket. I held him in my arms and gave him kisses, told him how much I loved him, thank you for letting me be your mommy and thank you for being my only true friend.
His name was Lux and he was a beautiful silver Bengal, just six months old.
I am heartbroken. I don't know how to be okay.