My kitten is miserable

[chloeg]

hi. I have 2 kittens a female maine coone tabby(7 mnths) and a recently adopted 4 month male.After the initial hissing and growling,

they seem to get along pretty well.My girl is very clean,gentle,loving and playful.my boy ,however is not one to groom himself much.

He's loving and playful but he wants to use her litter box and eat from her bowl.It seems like he is afraid the food will get finished.

They have kibble all day,wet twice a day and treats inbetween.

Here is the  the problem,my girl has been distant and  and she seldom purrs.She plays with him but not me.She waits for him to eat

then only does she eat.I was rather glad that she excepted him so quickly ,or so i thought.

Today I took my boy to be neutered,when I got back she was her old self again, purring non stop, so loving.I initially adopted my boy

as company for her as well as to  give him a loving forever  home.Im away at work for long hours and thought the company would be good for her,now Im not so sure.Even though they play with each  other ,she kinda looks miserable,judging from today,when he isnt around.

Any advice or experience with this sort of thing.

I dont want her to be miserable but then again neither do I want to get rid of my boy.He is the laziest, sweetest most adorable,scrawny

little thing and I just love him to bits.What do I do

Thanx

 

[mani]

Hi chloeg... 

It's really early days and really I'm not quite sure what the problem is..  You certainly don't need to be thinking of getting rid of your boy..

It's difficult when we have expectations.. you really wanted them to be good mates and it doesn't seem to be happening (yet) quite as you'd planned. 

They will sort themselves out in time.

My boy does the same with my girl... wants her food etc.  She used to get really peeved with him but now she looks at him as if to say 'boys... humph'. But she does love him.

If your boy is at the vet now, remember that when you bring him home she may not be too friendly to him as he will smell different... Using some vanilla or talc to make them both smell the same will help.

Wait until he's over his operation, see how things go, and please come and have a chat here whenever you feel like it!

 

[chloeg]

hi.definately not getting rid of either.Thats my family by choice.

The problem was that chloe was so happy and her old self when I got back home without Cole.

I was just wondering what I could do to make her more comfortable.Didnt know about vanilla.will do as you suggest.

Thank you

 

[tulosai]

Unfortunately this isn't going to address the main thrust of your question, but as long as she is still using her box, do NOT take any action to stop him from trying to use it.  If they are both using it, they have accepted it as a communal toilet.  Trying to stop him may lead to inappropriate elimination problems.  Even if she had an issue with it, I would tell you to add another box rather than trying to stop him. 

 

[chloeg]

hi.Iv got 3 boxes out for them to use and clean all twice a day.Iv used the vanilla and talc as suggested,put them in seperate rooms.

Chloe sat at the door growling and Cole was yowling on the other side.I let them out and gave them both cheese,they love it.But

Chloe is gone back to day 1 angry at both Cole and I.She's walking around the house growling and crying even though Cole is sitting

calmly in his tree.Is there something else I can do or will she eventually calm down and be her happy self once more?

 

[franksmom]

Have you tried feliway?

 

[kittenlove]

Have you tried playing with them together? At first I was concerned that a toy would be a source of jealousy between my older kitties and new kitten, but when I brought out Da Bird and flipped it back and forth between them, they loved it. After that, the one of my older boys who had been just tolerating the kitten, started playing with the little one on his own.

 

[envy]

I had my Doll for a year before I got Yue.  Doll had been super playful, loving, etc.  When I brought Yue home, Doll became distant, didn't want to cuddle with me, certainly didn't want to play with this new kitten, etc. etc. 

It took a while, and I'm not sure exactly how long, but eventually Doll returned to her old self.  Just give it time, and Chloe should be back to herself in a while. =)

 

[ejroby]

There is a difference when a cat is neutered and as well as smelling differently, he will need to heal. I hope your female has been spayed as well.

It does sound like you are overfeeding them. Ask your vet how much food they should be getting. It is quite normal for one cat to eat the other's food, and for one cat to let another have precedence.

It is hard to separate litter boxes, but my female cat would not use a litter box with litter for years until a month or so after my male cat died. She used the puppy wee-wee pads, but wouldn't share the box with him, though she let him have precedence over her all the time.

I would try playing with them together. It is good for a cat to have feline companionship.

 

[chloeg]

hi thanx for the advice.Both my babies have been,spayed,neutered,innoculated,dewormed and micro-chipped.they get best quality food,price is not a factor.

I have been playing with them together and its been a short while .they are definately tolerant of each other.Im not stressing over their behavior anymore,i realise

that they will,in their own time an pace get were they need to be.Iv just been giving them both lots of love,cuddles and playtime.The information on this site has helped a lot.

thanx again

 

[thevegancuddler]

My Sophie did this when I brought Noelle home. I didn't know as much about cats then, so I was really surprised, because she had otherwise been a very timid kitty. She did return to her old self, though. She and Noelle never became the best of friends (Noelle is more of a solitary scaredy cat who only tolerates others), but she loves the kittens I got for her as playmates.

In any event, she'll get over it. It just takes some time and patience. And try the Feliway diffusers and pheromone collars in the mean time. They eased the tension for Sophie and Noelle.

 

[chloeg]

Hi I know its been long but here's an update.They  get along pretty well now, they share everythingThey both have such different personalities and don't react the same to things.

Im so glad that I adopted Cole,he's a phenomenal cat,they both are.I am such a lucky and happy and better person to have them in my life .

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Aww! That's great to hear!  Thanks for the update!