My feral black cat I took home - Salem

[shadowsrescue]

I think I would just let him be in his room.  He may not be so unhappy after all.  There is a difference between being unhappy and being scared.  My guess is yes, he is scared, but I be he is happier inside in warmth and out of the elements.  He may never ever be a social kitty.  He may just live out his life in his room with the comforts of a home.  Maybe if you just decide to let him be it will change the energy of the home.  Instead of worrying about him being scared or unhappy, just allow him to be.  Feed him and continue to talk with him.  Offer him catnip or a few toys, but allow him the freedom to just be.  Then see what happens.  I know many people here have ferals/former ferals that now live inside, but may live in a room by themselves and do not allow pets.  I know @Ondine   has a cat that stays in a room by herself.  Maybe she can offer some perspective. 

I know and understand the frustration, but I truly believe that Salem is better off inside with you than outside where he will have to battle the elements and other critters. 

I hope the best for all of you.  Give him some time to calm down.  Have you tried Feliway or any flower essences with him?

 

[ondine]

We have a cat like Salem - Chester is the cat in my avatar.  We got him when he was six months old and we did everything wrong.  He bit my husband a few times because because neither of us realized he was so afraid of us.  We thought we could socialize him by picking him up all the time!  We've learned a lot since then, fortunately.

Chester is a sweet, shy kitty who will let us pet him every few days or so.  A head scritch or two and maybe a butt scritch.  That's it.  He gets along with the other cats and pretty much keeps to himself.  But any time we open the outside door or someone knocks, he is under the bed.  He'll stay there for hours if he feels he needs to.  My granddaughter visited every summer for three years before Chester showed himself to her.  She did not believe he existed!

So I agree with everyone.  Let Salem live out his life in peace.  He is home inside now and, believe it or not, he is comfortable.  Talk to him when you get the chance, let him know he is loved, even if he's a little unsocialized.  Let's face it, we're all a little odd in some way.

Thank goodness, Salem had the wisdom to come to you!

BTW -Teresa is Chester's litter mate.  She's the cat with her own room because she does not like the other cats.  Chester will visit her once in awhile (usually to polish off her food).  But the nano-second the door to her room opens, he's out like a shot!  Teresa is a lovebug with humans but other cats annoy her no end.

 

[kasia]

Thank you so much for all the advice. 

I think I'm going to leave him in his room and just see what happens, especially that I know now that he doesn't want to be outside. I just thought I kept him in prison and that he hated it. And I did not want him to be scared all the time. He started crying again at night and looking curiously through the window, when I opened it a bit. So my only reason to try to let him go was to give him what he wanted. But, since that's not what he wants, he can continue living in my house. 

At some point in the future, I may have to move him to another bedroom. I have 4 bedrooms - the master, 2 rooms, which belong to my daughter (who is in college now, but will come to live with us again when she graduates in 6 months), and the "Salem's room", aka the guest bedroom. I put Salem there, since it was the most empty room in the house, but now, when he got used to the house and does not "scale the walls" anymore, I would like to move him to one of my daughter's rooms - she has a "bedroom" and a "study room". We have guests coming about every 6 months and I would like them to have the place to stay. But I may wait with that another 6 months, when Salem feels more comfortable with me and the house. 

I will try that calming liquid you guys have been telling me about. I just did not have a chance to get to it yet. He has everything else - the toys, the scratcher, the cat-nip, blankets, laser-beam, etc. He never seems too interested in any of that.  He may be just a mature, lazy cat, haha, who just wants to sit on his cat-tree and do nothing. But I still like him a lot. 

I will continue to talk to him and try spending as much time as I can with him. He lets me sit very close to him sometimes. I was even tempted to try to pet him couple of times, although I decided not to. Other times, he runs away, when I sit too close, jumps up on the dresser, and turns his back on me, haha. So he is one moody cat! 

I will keep you posted about Salem. I just hope he finds his place in my family and at least somewhat gets used to us. 

 

[dandila]

Cats are much harder to figure out than dogs.  They seem to tell you one thing, but mean another or change their minds.  I have a stray I began letting in to sleep during the cold months of winter and now that its spring I can't get her back outside.  So, she is my house cat now.  I made a vet appointment for her because she had some itchy ears and I warned my vet that she was a stray and I didn't know how she would behave.  The cat was nicer to my vet than she has ever been to me....putty in her hands.  They are what they are...fickle.

 

[ondine]

 
Thank you so much for all the advice. 

I think I'm going to leave him in his room and just see what happens, especially that I know now that he doesn't want to be outside. I just thought I kept him in prison and that he hated it. And I did not want him to be scared all the time. He started crying again at night and looking curiously through the window, when I opened it a bit. So my only reason to try to let him go was to give him what he wanted. But, since that's not what he wants, he can continue living in my house. 

At some point in the future, I may have to move him to another bedroom. I have 4 bedrooms - the master, 2 rooms, which belong to my daughter (who is in college now, but will come to live with us again when she graduates in 6 months), and the "Salem's room", aka the guest bedroom. I put Salem there, since it was the most empty room in the house, but now, when he got used to the house and does not "scale the walls" anymore, I would like to move him to one of my daughter's rooms - she has a "bedroom" and a "study room". We have guests coming about every 6 months and I would like them to have the place to stay. But I may wait with that another 6 months, when Salem feels more comfortable with me and the house. 

I will try that calming liquid you guys have been telling me about. I just did not have a chance to get to it yet. He has everything else - the toys, the scratcher, the cat-nip, blankets, laser-beam, etc. He never seems too interested in any of that.  He may be just a mature, lazy cat, haha, who just wants to sit on his cat-tree and do nothing. But I still like him a lot. 

I will continue to talk to him and try spending as much time as I can with him. He lets me sit very close to him sometimes. I was even tempted to try to pet him couple of times, although I decided not to. Other times, he runs away, when I sit too close, jumps up on the dresser, and turns his back on me, haha. So he is one moody cat! 

I will keep you posted about Salem. I just hope he finds his place in my family and at least somewhat gets used to us. 

Good news!  You know, I read somewhere that a cat turning his back to you was actually a good sign.  It is a sign of submissiveness, friendship.  If he was afraid of you, he'd be keeping you in his sights - on edge.  So that in itself says something.  I know when Chester wants a butt scritch, he does that.

Have you tried using a back scratcher to touch him?  Someone on here used a feather duster.  The length of the scratcher or duster keeps you a safe distance from him while allowing you to touch him.  Something to think about.

 

[kasia]

Dandila, that's a funny story about your stray. It tells me that sometimes they prefer to stay inside than outside, once they figure out how safe, warm, and cozy it is. I think that, just like us or the dogs, cats have different personalities. Some people can't stay home for too long and are constantly looking for adventure, while others prefer to just be home. Even my dogs, who were both taken from the shelter, once they figured out what the "home" meant , did not even want to go for a walk for a while. And Boo would "fight for his life" when I tried to take him to the vet. He was terrified of cars. Even if I managed to get him in the car, I could not drive, because he would jump on my laps, shaking like a leaf. Now, he finally got over the fear.  

Salem was never the adventures cat. He was a mama's boy. And mama taught him some bad things. Plus, few times I saw him being chased by my neighbor's fat cat, who would come and eat his food. But Salem could not defend his territory. He is not a strong, alpha cat.  That may be why he is so comfortable with just staying in the house. 

Ondine, I thought about that too, that maybe he's getting comfortable with me, since he turns his back on me. And I tried to touch him with that cat's toy, which looks like a fishing pole. The "string" is made from a soft material and has a feather. So far, he wasn't very happy about that, haha. Maybe if I give him that calming liquid, he will be more receptive to it. 

Thank you again everyone for all the suggestions and comments. Salem really surprised me yesterday. Now, I think I better understand his behavior. I'm just hoping that in the next 10 years he gets more used to the house, starts running around it, using other bedrooms too, and I can get my guest bedroom back, haha. 

 

[rubysmama]

Thanks for the update on Salem, @Kasia.  I'm sure it's a good sign that he didn't want to escape when he had the chance. That seems to suggest he is happy living inside.  It hasn't been a year yet, so he may still come around in time, or at the very least change his habits somewhat.

My adopted cat, Ruby, was not feral, but she was taken to the shelter by someone who found her outside on the street, so I know Ruby has lived outside.  And yet except for taking a step onto my front landing a couple of times, and me turning her back inside, she has never shown any desire to go outside. Even when she sees other cats out the window, all she does is run from window to window trying to watch them.

And in the year and 1/2 I've had Ruby, she's changed from an always hungry eat everything in sight cat, to a grazer, which is something I never thought I'd see.   So Salem may surprise you with tiny changes over time.

 

[kittyluv387]

Any updates?