My dear cat Tiger is gone....

[ppawra]

Dear friends,
I am so sad, my dear TIGER (9 y/o) has moved to New Orleans. I raised him and I gave to him so much love and care. He thinks I am his real mom. However, he was a present to my daughter when she turned 15. She was at HS, then college, and during the last 2 years she was more close to him. He loves her, also TIGER loves his real house, his family, his bro BLITZ, who is a Golden Retriever He is almost 9 y/o as TIGER is.
Now TIGER is not more at home b/c my daughter got married and took him with her. I feel so so so depressed, sad. My daughter is sending me pictures of TIGER. Also he looks sad, and he is meowing too much during the nights. He is waking up them 3-4 times per night. I feel he is missing his home. I understand TIGER was a present for my daughter Andrea, however it is not fair for him be unhappy so far from his home and his family.
PLease I need advices, suggestions
Pat

 

[white cat lover]

Welcome to TCS, Pat.

First off -

to you, I imagine this wasn't easy at all for you. How long has it been since Tiger moved? Cats are attached to physical places, so even when they move with people they know, they often become stressed, and look "sad" or act depressed. They do adjust, with time.

 

[pami]

Aww I am sorry you are going through this sadness.

Maybe you can talk to your daughter and see if there is anyway she would let him move back? Tell her that you know she loves him, but that maybe there are just too stresses he has to go through leaving (like his dog brother, you and his home) that may just be too much for him.
She knows his behavior is him not being happy, so maybe you could use it as an opportunity to convince her to let him come back. She knows he will be taken care of and loved.

Maybe you could talk her into rescuing another cat.

I do agree with whitecatlover (Natalie) that he can adjust, but it is sad that he has to when he obviously had so many things he was attached to already.

 

[ppawra]

Tiger just moved 1 week ago. For me
and my 2 other kids look like it is 1 month
ago. My dear tiger is very smart, very
friendly, so attach to me. I sent to my
daughter Andrea an e-mail explaining to
her my feelings and Possible Tiger feelings.
She doesn't know him as I. Also she will
be so busy studying in the School of Medicine
and she was planning to drop off Tiger to her
mother in law house every day. I don't know
what do I have to do with this extreme sadness?
I have been feeling that Tiger is so sad as well I am.
Thanks for your reply.
Pat

 

[white cat lover]

Has she considered, even as attached as she is, letting him come back home & opening her heart/home to another kitty in need? If he is that unhappy, he may be better off in the home he has always known..... I know it's difficult, when you love him, but she does also.

 

[ppawra]

Dear Pami,
first of all thank you so much for your advises.
I hope my daughter think over about Tiger's future.
He is so attached to his home and to his favorite
places inside the house. He is an indoor cat. However
He likes to walk around the house at least 3-4 times
per day. He has his favorite windows. Also when he gets
bored he looks for his bro BLITZ and he plays w/him, jumping
both of them at the same time. It is really fun for them, play
together.
Thanks again
Pat

 

[GoldyCat]

Being shifted around every day between your daughter and her mother-in-law can be very stressful for the poor kitty. You might use that as a talking point when you're asking your daughter to let you have Tiger back.

that things work out well for everybody.

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by GoldyCat

Being shifted around every day between your daughter and her mother-in-law can be very stressful for the poor kitty. You might use that as a talking point when you're asking your daughter to let you have Tiger back.

that things work out well for everybody.

that's what I was going to say... You poor thing

I am so sorry you are going through this... for you both...

 

[fisheater]

Awww poor Tiger. Sounds like he is much loved and missed.

I too just moved into my new place with my kitty. He was having a really rough time adjusting, crying constantly, very nervous with panting and shaking. I bought a Feliway diffuser to help him adjust and it worked great. He is no longer a panting, crying, shaking, hyperventilating kitty. Feliway helped immensely in helping him to adjust to our new home.

Maybe your daughter could try a Feliway diffuser or spray to help Tiger adjust to his new home. Either that or look into the possibility of asking to have him back since you're looking out for the best interest in the cat.

 

[larussa]

I don't know what to tell you but if your daughter really cares for Tiger, she will let him come back to you rather than shifting him back and forth to her MIL. It's not fair at all to Tiger and your daughter should rethink what's better for Tiger, being with her is not the right choice whether or not he was a gift to her. That doesn't make it right, as someone else said, there are enough kitties out there who need homes so she should send him back to you. Anyway it looks like she doesn't have time for an animal right now, she is very wong here in her thinking.

 

[otto]

Your thread has brought tears to my eyes. Perhaps you could ask your daughter to read this thread, so she can understand how you are feeling, and see from our unobjective replies that allowing Tiger to return to his home would be best for him.

It must be awfully hard on a nine year old cat used to living in one place all his life to have to be shifted around from place to place very day, and staying with strangers.

A young cat might be able to adjust to that kind of life, but at 9, I know it must be causing him a lot of stress.

I left my cat with my mother when I left home at age 20. I missed her something terrible but I couldn't bear to tear her away from the home she had known all her life, not to mention the other cats she was bonded to.

Once I got settled in my new city in my new adult life I adopted another cat from the local shelter of the city I was living in. Baby (

1/98) turned out to be my soul mate and the love of my life for 16 years, and Muffy got to stay in her home with her other kitty companions, where she was happiest.

Welcome to TCS, and please do stick around for moral support, and to share Tiger stories with us.

Let us know how things are going with him, too.

 

[ppawra]

Hi friends,
I had a long talk to my daughter by phone this evening. I was crying while I was talking to her. It was inevitable. My heart was talking. She said to me Tiger is doing fine, eating well, meowing less times during the nights than last week. Also, she said she changed her mind about leaving Tiger at her parents in law house every day when the school will start. However I know Tiger will be alone at her new house when the classes will start in Fall (My daughter will be busy at Med School. This is her first year). I explained to her that the 2 first years at Med School are busy, however not as busy as the 2 last ones (I am also MD).I asked her What are you doing with Tiger, then? I was so surprised with her answer "well, I am not planning to have Tiger if i will be so busy, I'll send him home back".
Now I am so sure that she doesn't love Tiger as I do.
I will have the chance to see Tiger in 2 weeks. We will have The White Coat Ceremony for the students that are beginning the School of Medicine. My daughter and my son in law are one of those students.
We are traveling w/BLITZ also. He will have the chance to see his brother. It is pretty sad how they are living apart. Also We know Blitz will live less than Tiger. We were aging together and very very happy. They use to sleep close.
My youngest daughter is advising me to take Tiger back home for his happiness and for his Bro.
I am a little confused, please I need advises
Thanks again
Pat

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

It seems like everyone here is mostly in agreement that the best thing for the cat is to move back home with you. I agree that you should ask your daughter to read this thread. She can get another cat and still be able to see Tiger when she comes to see you. I hope it works out for you, but most of all for Tiger.

 

[pami]

Hi Pat,
Maybe between now and when you go to visit, you can throw some hints out there about how the the babies at your house seem depressed with Tiger.
Tell her you know she will be busy these next several years, so why put Tiger through all these changes, if when she gets busy, she will send him home.
As hard as it is, try not to be emotional with her, but try to appeal to her logical side. Maybe she will decide to let you take him back home with you.

 

[ppawra]

Hi friends,
Now I am visiting my daughter and my dear Tiger
in New Orleans. I am crying while I am writing this
post. When I see Tiger I cann't avoid to have tears
on my face. I am feeling so so sad. I saw him tonight
for around 30 minutes. I left my 2 younger kids at my
daughter's house. My husband and I are in a hotel close
by. My daughter's house is pretty small for all of us. I feel
so depressed. My husband says that I have to think
what it is more convenient for my daughter, Andrea
also he says Tiger looks pretty healthy, I am agree w/him
about how Tiger looks. However, my first impression
was that Tiger looks like he is another cat. He recognized me
and meow. We brought w/us Blitz, tiger's brother. Apparently,
tiger didn't recognize his bro. I am a little confused.
This situation is totally unfair for me and for Tiger. I know he
looks healthy however he was removed from his beautiful environment, he was
used to walk for the 3 different storiesof his house, look through his favorites
windows, play w/his bro, and he did so many things that I'm missing so much
I don't know what to do? I feel so so so sad
please help me friends w/ your wise advices.
Thank you so much
Pat

as he was 3 weeks ago.

 

[mystik spiral]

Hi Pat.

I agree with the poster who suggested that your daughter open her house to another cat and let you have your Tiger back. My parents got me a dog when I was in high school, after we had to put my previous dog to sleep (old age, diabetes - it was very difficult for me as I'd had her since I was 7 years old). Well, I went off to college and Kaiser stayed with my parents. Even after I got out of college and had my own place, I left him with them because that was the home he'd known for his whole life.

It sounds like your daughter is taking excellent care of Tiger, but it's obvious that you miss him and he misses you. Since you're visiting your daughter now, maybe you could suggest that you visit a shelter together and brighten another cat's life by adopting him/her? Your daughter could get to know another cat and you could take your Tiger home with you.

 

[ppawra]

Dear friends,
I'm feeling better. I spent some time with Tiger
yesterday and today. He is the same cat as before.
When we arrived to New Orleans the day before
yesterday he didn't recognize his bro at the begining.
However, around 30' after Tiger and Blitz were close
as usual and they seemed happy together. Today, they
were playing as they used to do it 3 weeks ago. Tiger is
extremely smart. I raised 2 cats in the past, none of them
were like him. I was very happy seeing them together.
I talked to my daughter about Tiger's future. We made an
agreement, Tiger will stay in NO while she will be able to keep
taking good care of him like she is doing now. She is amazing
w/ him. She feed him with an schedule of hours. She doesn't
want Tiger gain weight. Also he has a playground (I bought it
2 years ago) in the backyard and it is connected to a little door
that Tiger can open whenever he wants to go to the
backyard. Really, I love my daughter so much and I know I will be
sad and I'll be missing my dear Tiger but Andrea is trying so hard
to keep Tiger happy and I think she deserves the chance to do it.
Our deal is if she feels she will be not able to do the care that Tiger
is receiving now (she gives to him so much love also) she will very
honest w/me and will return Tiger home.
I think both of us are doing the best for our dear Tiger. He is one of the
smartest cat that I know so far. I have to think in my dog Blitz, now I
know he was depressed at home w/o Tiger. I have to do something
about.
Thank you so much for your advises, you are amazing guys!!!!
Your friend
Pat

 

[mystik spiral]

Tiger is extraordinarily lucky to have so many people who care for him.

I'm glad that you and your daughter are talking and trying to figure out what is best for him. I'm sorry that you miss him so much, but it sounds like your daughter is doing great by him. If only every cat could be as lucky as Tiger!!!