My cat seems really stressed.

[nigella11]

Hello! I suppose I should introduce myself and my kitty before I jump in but I'm pretty desperate...

So I adopted Nigella this past February from a no-kill shelter. She had previously been abused and thrown out of the house as a kitten and became what the shelter called 'semi-feral' (though I'm not sure that's the right phrasing). She was badly hurt and found by a shelter volunteer and was thought to be unadoptable for a really long time (she was at the shelter for over a year before they decided she was nice enough around humans to be put up for adoption). She's almost 3, for reference. She's still EXTREMELY skittish, but after a month or two of hiding out in the bathtub, she became really attached to me and was very loving. She disliked my grandfather a lot (who lives with me) but we accepted that maybe she was just a one-person cat.

Anyways, long winded introduction. I left last month for a 1 month vacation to visit my boyfriend. My grandfather took care of her at that time and gave her all the attention I did, so by all accounts, she was a happy camper. I came back on Monday and knew she'd be terrified out of her mind to have a new person in the home (she loves my room so I was really 'invading' her space). But I'm worried. She comes out at night when I'm sleeping and eats and goes to the bathroom. She pooped outside the litterbox once, but I'm not sure if it was just because it was stuck to her butt because she continued going to the litterbox normally afterwards. She doesn't come out from under the bed during the day. I've left treats and tried to sit on the floor and talk quietly each day, but all I get are continuous hisses so I leave. I realise she's stressed but I'm wondering how far I should let this go? I called the vet and they said to give it another week or two. But I'm overanxious and want to know if there's anything I can do in the meantime to help her out. Does anyone have any experience with this?

 

[tulosai]

I think the vet is right.  Give it some more time.  Even really really friendly cats might act distant after that long of an absence.  Just keep feeding her and keeping the box clean.  Talk to her as much as you can.

 

[nigella11]

Thanks.

I'm just worried she isn't getting any attention (she hasn't come out to see my grandfather either) or exercise. I'm a slightly overbearing cat mum.

 

[tulosai]

I totally understand :/ Unfortunately I do not think it is smart to 'make' her come out... just give it some more time, and again be talking to her as much as you can.  While her behavior sounds slightly more extreme than many, in reality, like I said, after a one month absence even a really friendly cat might act this way. 

 

[nigella11]

Yeah, I don't plan on even trying to make her come out. She's definitely an aggressive cat when provoked. I'm not sure if Feliway or something of that nature would be helpful in this situation. I also don't know if I should maybe leave my room for a while. Struggling to figure if I should strike a balance and spend days in the living room and nights in my own room or just stay here for as long as I want to get her used to me quicker.

 

[catspaw66]

Go about your normal routine. Give her some time by herself in your room. The less she feels threatened, the more you will see of her.

 

[mservant]

I'd go with what everyone else is saying and try to go about your usual routine and give her space, but if you haven't tried Feliway it is worth a go. It's helped with the cats I have/ have had.  It must feel awful for both of you and be really hard her being like this with you.

I remember taking my cats to stay in another house for a couple of months when my home was renovated and didn't know about Feliway at the time: one of them hid in a cupboard for days then behind a curtain for about 2 weeks, the other scouted out the whole house then spent the rest of the first day walking in the door of the room I was in, walking across the room eyeballing me the whole time and growling at me in a really deep, angry way, then walking back doing the same thing. She spent the entire day repeating the process.  I was SO stressed and by the end of the day I was in tears. I went to bed really late and in seconds the little horror was up on my covers and snuggled in!  Then she got up the next day and it started all over...... a couple of days were  more than enough...   

I hope you are forgiven soon and your baby stays well. 

  

 

[nigella11]

She seems to have forgiven me as last night she jumped onto the bed for cuddles! I'm really happy.

Unfortunately, I found a lot of mats (she's a long-haired kitty) on her chest. She never lets anyone brush her chest but holy moly these mats are hard as rocks! I scheduled an appointment at PetCo for tomorrow to get her mats cut out. Poor thing must be in so much pain.

I'm also unhappy with my grandfather for not realising soon. Plus, she seems to have lost quite a bit of weight (I was gone for 5 weeks so it's possible I just remember her as fatter than she was). I want to get her checked out at the vet but there seems to be quite the waiting list for an appointment (late August!). I hope it's just a case of my grandfather feeding her a little less than I did because she seems to have a large appetite now that I'm back.

 

[mservant]

Soooo happy Nigella's back for cuddles.  

  Hopefully she's just been a bit stressed with you being away and not eaten quite so much and now she's settling down a bit she might pick up.  Maybe the fur-do tomorrow will be enough for her to cope with and with, and with lots of cuddles and treats she'll have put back any weight she has lost before the vet appointment comes round. 

 

[nigella11]

Soooo happy Nigella's back for cuddles.  

  Hopefully she's just been a bit stressed with you being away and not eaten quite so much and now she's settling down a bit she might pick up.  Maybe the fur-do tomorrow will be enough for her to cope with and with, and with lots of cuddles and treats she'll have put back any weight she has lost before the vet appointment comes round. 

Thanks for the well wishes! I hope so as well. She's always been a really odd eater. It's also possible I'm remembering her as fatter than she actually was. I do love my cats fat...haha!