My cat is sometimes a bully

[onebratt08]

I have 3 kitties, an 11-year old female, 6-year old male and terrible 2 year old male. I found him when he was 6-ish months old. It's clear he was weened too early because he suckles. I have this feeling that maybe he wasn't socialized as a youngster either.

So, here's the problem: Sometimes he gets along great with the other cats. Sleeps with them, mutual grooms, plays friendly. Other times, he bullies them, especially the older female. Sometimes it even happens with friendly play - he doesn't know the boundary. They go from a little friendly wrestling, to his trying to literally sit on their face, then jumping on and biting. He's relentless. Sometimes it even sparks a fight between the other 2 cats and they've always been lovers. This has only started in the past few months (since about the time he hit 2). He happens to be the smallest of the 3 also.

This is very stressful for me and, at least, the older cat. I have tried nearly everything recommended online - distracting him, separating him, trying to tire him out, rewarding him with treats for good play, lots of distracting interactive toys, Feliway plug-ins and spray. Nothing works. I was looking at the Jackson Galaxy Spirit Essences - there's a kit for bullies. It's $60 on Amazon - quite a risk for something that may not work (anyone with experience?). I hate leaving home because of it and we have an upcoming trip. I haven't taken him to the vet yet - I don't think there's a health problem...there's a behavior problem. I worry the vet will be no help and I will still be charged $50 for the visit.

Any thoughts or suggestions? I've never seen a cat act this badly. He's really lucky he's in my home. I think most people would give up on him, but I won't.

 

[yayi]

Actually, he's quite normal (I've had a few of those). Right now, I have a 4 year old female who behaves that way towards my seniors. I don't know what she is trying to prove. 

 However, she does stop when I say so. I assume you have also tried the usual hissing, clapping hands, saying NO to him, some time out? Actually, I would not really call it bullying. Sometimes the young ones just want to play in a way that is too much for the older cats. 

You did not say how the other two act towards the youngster? Do they try to discipline him? My seniors sometimes ran away from my girl, sometimes they ignore her but often they hiss and give her a good whack on the face. She backs away (for the day) after that last one. 

In my experience, this behavior lessens as the cat gets older. 

Also, since you mentioned he has not gone to the vet, I suggest you take him. Not because of this particular behavior, but it is always wise to make sure there is nothing physically wrong with him. 

 

[onebratt08]

He's pretty ruthless with the older cat. She will cry, hiss, try to defend herself, run and try to hide and he won't let up. I was able to distract him last night after a few times asking him if he wanted a treat, but obviously I can't do that if I'm not here. The bigger cat can usually put him in his place.

I love how playful he is...it's just that I've had a lot of cats pass through this phase and not one was a "rotten" as him. It's been a minute since we've been to the vet for a checkup, so I should take him in.