My Cat HATES adult men , Please Help !

[mrkitty2424]

My cat is about a year old.  We have had him since he was 2 weeks and he has been loved and cared for. 

As an adult he hates men and gets very aggression if they enter the house.  His will start to hiss and bat at them as soon as they enter the house.  I have tried getting them to play with the cat or give treats.

The only men he will deal with are my ex and my dad ,I am guessing it is because they were around a lot when he as a kitten

I cant find any information about what else i can try online so I am asking for help please.   We love this cat but this is very hard to  deal with.

I will take all advise to heart !

thanks!!!!!!!

 

[flintmccullough]

I-think-you-first-have-to-figure-out,why,he-is-doing-this,they-don't-just-turn-overnight.

You-said-he-was-good-with-your-ex-and-your-dad,so-he-wasn't-always-like-that,and-you-said,men-entering-the-house.What-men?

It-points-to-some-man,at-some-point-in-time,after-your-ex,mis-treated-him,so-ya-gotta-figure-out,which-man-it-was,prev-boyfriend,repair-man,some-man-was-left-alone-with-him,at-some-point-in-time.

 

[minka]

And you're sure he's not just afraid of strangers in general?

It's not that big of a deal for cats to not like strangers. Most cats run and hide when any company is over. It's not unusual at all. I wouldn't try to force him, that may just be making the problem worse.
:nod:

 

[mrkitty2424]

Thank for the replies but:

It is all men , my friends, my real estate agent etc...   you name it

He is fine with women, so it is not just strangers in general.  He does not run and hide,  he goes after them as soon as they walk in the house.  It would be ok if he went and hide but he doesn't at all

He has never been mistreated I am certain of that.  I don't leave people alone in my home. 

As I mentioned mt ex and dad were around him a lot when he was tiny so I think that may have something to do with it. 

I am really at a lose.  I hate the idea of always have to keep him up in a room while people of over , but I have not choice right now
 

 

[p3 and the king]

This isn't uncommon.  Some cats have a certain fear or dislike of a certain sex or other people in their space.  Men are usually the obvious.  Mostly because their voices are deeper and footsteps tend to be heavier so they look and sound scary to a cat.  Some cats have no flight mode, only fight.  It doesn't always come down to abuse just the general make up of men that tends to turn a cat off, if you think of it from their point of view.  You can try the Rescue Remedy or feliway to see if they help at all.  Otherwise your kitty is just a "certain people only" kitty and needs to be removed and put in a room by himself while you have company.  It's better for him anyway.  Don't think of it as punishment.  My guess is that guests, especially male guests, are seen by him as a stressor.

 

[mrkitty2424]

thank you for the advice ! I will try Rescue Remedy and  feliway.  Would you recommend that to be used everyday , days before company or houses before ?  thanks again , and understood about putting him away might be best.  

 

[StefanZ]

Im wondering a little, if he is protecting the house?  Common enough with dogs, but can happen with cats too.  You can not seldom see your cats sitting around you and protecting against "ghosts".

So, if you want these men to meet the cat, let them give food, not just treats. Instruct them to talk softly and friendly...

Otherwise, the easiest is as said earlier: close in the cat in his own room while the visit.

A feliway adapter you can have on whole time.  Feliway spray now and then as needed.

Rescue Remedy is given usually afterwards, to help with the stress-induced trauma, but can of course also be given shortly before.

Good luck!

 

[p3 and the king]

My sister has a cat just like yours.  Except her cat, Belle, is like this with everyone else, not just men... She is aggressive with everyone else.  There are few people she allows in her and her people's space.  It got so bad, my sister would be stressed because she was worried about Belle and her guests being uncomfortable or even hurt by Belle's lashing out at them... Belle would have anxiety attacks afterward.  So she started making people texts her so she could put Belle in the bedroom with her stuff and in the quiet so she didn't have to see or be around others.  Belle is much calmer for it.  My sister also thought it was punishing her before to put her in a room by herself, like you.  But cats and dogs are different.  Cats often prefer quiet and not to be around people they don't know.  Not always but some cats just cannot tolerate it at all.  It isn't punishment for them to be put in a quiet space by themselves while company is over, on the contrary, it's punishment for everyone to stress the cat out. 

Feliway needs to be plugged in all the time.  It doesn't always work.  Some have lots of success with it while other like me and my sister do not.  My advice is to buy it online on ebay or amazon for cheaper (get the diffuser) if it works, you can order refills.  Rescue Remedy can be put on before company arrives too and it helps. 

 

[catfella]

An earlier post referenced that a man must have abused the cat for the cat to seemingly dislike men. I am not sure this is the case. After all, we don't know that the cat dislikes men "for the sake of" disliking men. Perhaps it dislikes their physical size, or tone of voice, or is instinctively opposed to their odor, etc. I just hate to picture a cat suffering from misandry, lol, and the men of the world getting the blame!
 

 

[mrkitty2424]

Thank you all for the advise , please keep it coming !  I did get the products and will give them a shot,  I was told by Petsmart that I could get my money back if it didn't help at all , so that is good news.  

I do have to keep reminding myself that he would be better off not around other people, going to be very hard to have family stay over from out of town, going to be a game of keep away from the cat.

And yes men do get to get blamed for everything but.... jk lol  thanks again - It helps to at least have something to try.  I will let you all know if it works, my good friend Andy is coming saturday to exchange gifts with me and my daughter!  

One last thing, I was thinking a lot about getting him his own climbing tree, maybe he will want to protect that instead of the entire house. 

 

[minka]

Oh, yes! That's a great idea! Getting a nice high place to feel safe helps a Lot of cats who are stressed in one way or another. :nod:

 

[dejolane]

I have the same problem. My son had  moved to Minnesota a couple years ago and every time he comes back to Ohio and visits us Bella hisses at him. My son just wants to be her friend again like they were before he moved. How can they become friends again ?

dejolane

 

[rad65]

My younger cat is the same way, except he is terrified of women. Your situation could be something as simple as the difference between how men and women walk, I know it is for my cat. He will hide for hours if a woman comes into my apartment wearing heels, but he'll only hide for about 10 minutes if it's one of my male friends. My roommate's girlfriend has been around him since the second I brought him home at 8 weeks old and has never so much as raised her voice at him, yet he has always found the sound of heeled shoes on the wood floor to be terrifying. He also doesn't seem to like women's voices since he is used to me and my roommate talking. Even when I baby talk to them, it's still not as high pitched as a woman's regular voice. Even after he calms down and comes out to the living room to see what's happening, he'll sprint back under my bed if he hears a woman talk.Maybe your cat is hearing a different walk or a masculine voice and getting scared/defensive? 

 

[mrkitty2424]

Again thank you all for the advise.  

I had a friend over on saturday with the Feliway plugged and had given the Rescue Remedy to him about and hour prior. My cat seems not to thrilled to have my friend there but did not get aggressive. 

On tuesday I had a few people over for NYE.  Started out the similar but as time when on her did get a little aggressive so I had to remove him and put him in my bedroom.  I goes it was a bit took much.

I will keep trying my best to make this easy for him, wondering what to when I have people over for extended time -  what happens when I start to date again UGH  -  Must love and not fear cats !

Oh and my cat has NO interest in the climbing tree.  Had it for 5 days now and he hasn't paid it any mind.  Oh Well

Again any thought/ideas to share are welcome !

Thanks and happy new year !! 

 

[StefanZ]

One last thing, I was thinking a lot about getting him his own climbing tree, maybe he will want to protect that instead of the entire house. 

A climbing three is never a bad idea. gives them something pleasant to do.

If you are somewhat handy, you can surely do it yourself, I mean, you dont need to buy it if you dont afford.

Ps, I do read on and see you had buyed this three, without him using it.

Our resident didnt either payed much attention to their new, big,nice climbing three.  But after several month they got use it pretty much.  

 

[minka]

Oh and my cat has NO interest in the climbing tree.  Had it for 5 days now and he hasn't paid it any mind.  Oh Well

Don't give up!!
It took Grim a MONTH to get used to a tree that was only a couple feet high. xD Now if I could afford one, I'm sure he would love one ten feet tall xD

Try putting treats or feeding him on it. That'll get his attention.

 

[mrkitty2424]

Thats a good idea thanks!

I was thinking that perhaps the one I purchased was a bit to small for him , I put him on one of the ledges and he fit but didn't look comfy.  They are so expense that I can't afford a bigger one right now. 

Any advice one a good place to get them?  

 

[minka]

Don't worry too much about bigger ledges. I have a big cat, and when he sleeps on the top of his tree, his footie hangs over *giggles* he really doesn't mind though. Cats are perfectly fine with small places. Like I said, it'll probably just take him time to warm up to the strange object that smells like a pet store. :nod:

 

[mrkitty2424]

Has anyone ever tried a Homeopathic veterinary for behavior issues ?  He is still having issues and again putting him away my be best but if I have long term guests it is a issue.  I spoke to someone but it is very pricy just for he first consultation. 

thanks! 

 

[Willowy]

Flower essences have been used for behavioral problems, but I think if money was tight I'd consult a behaviorist, not a homeopath. A good behaviorist uses many different techniques (maybe even homeopathy if appropriate), so I think you'd get more bang for your buck.

. . .or do you mean a holistic vet? That might be good, but only if he/she is well versed in cat behavior.