My cat doesn't like my family...

[laceymcde]

About 6 months ago I got Binx, I already had 1 male cat, Baxter, and we decided he needed a companion. Him & Baxter ADORE eachother. Binx came from a normal home, from a litter of 3, and was treated well. But - he just doesn't like people. He isn't a feral, he doesn't run away and hide, he is just not a social cat. He doesn't like to be touched, he doesn't like being around us. I have 2 small children, 4 & 2, but they are very gentle with the kitties, and have never done anything bad to him. The only time he wants to be petted is when I am using the bathroom, he will come rub up to my leg, but I am the only one he does this to, otherwise he stays in a room where we are not.

Am I doing something wrong? Is there anyway I can get him to trust us?

 

[baloneysmom]

Some cats just are not social. I have three. Bugsy I see ALL the time, he is so clingy I step on him at least once a day and canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t sit down for a second without his hopping up on me. Bonnie I see most of the day, sheâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a lap cat though not as needy as Bugsy but Capone… I really only see him once a day for a few min. He just isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t all that social. He spends the majority of the day in a little bed I made for him under my side of the bed.

Capone is the only cat we have that hasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t been abused or neglected in his life. He loves to be loved on his terms usually in the bathroom, or at 4am when I am sleeping. I have to say though that he is the least affectionate, he is also the most sensitive. He goes through moods where he will suckle on my shirt at nights, or he will suckle from a dog toy, or get affectionate with stuffed animals. He goes into kitten mode every so often. I think he gets lonely and insecure.

Maybe your new cat just isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t social like my Capone. I always make it a point to give him a drive by kiss, or pat on the head and he seems to appreciate it as long as it doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t last too long LOL. I just make sure I go out of my way to give him love, itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s enough for him, for this I know he loves me more than my other cats do. Just because he isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t social I would never think he doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like me.


Also, you should be honored, he loves you and it looks like he picked you since youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re the only one he goes through. Cats are like people, they all have different personalities and some are more antisocial then most.

 

[white cat lover]

Some cats by nature are just not "social butterflies". Of my 7 - I have 1 that demands constant attention, 4 that as long as they are fed do not care if I ever touch them, & 2 that like attention but aren't needy. Every cat will be different - for example one of the four that doesn't care if I ever touch her I got at 4-6 weeks of age & did some bottle feeding to get her to the age where she could eat dry food - she still doesn't much care for attention & I've had her all her life.

 

[laceymcde]

Thank you so much for your replies. I am glad it seems that he isn't just offended by something I have done. I have never had an anti-social cat before... I will honor his personality

 

[otto]

I agree with the others that this may just be who he is, and I know you will love him no matter, but he's going to be with you all his life, and you never know when he may blossom.

Six months isn't all that long for some cats. But it's good you won't force it.

How old are Binx and Baxter?

 

[laceymcde]

Originally Posted by otto

I agree with the others that this may just be who he is, and I know you will love him no matter, but he's going to be with you all his life, and you never know when he may blossom.

Six months isn't all that long for some cats. But it's good you won't force it.

How old are Binx and Baxter?

Baxter is 5.
Binx is about 8 months, we got him when he was 8 weeks old.

 

[gemlady]

I had siblings where one was a social butterfly (a big flirt with men

) and one who only allowed me and Mom to pet him.

Maybe in time Binx will warm up to the rest of the family.

 

[fluffysimba]

Cats are very independent creatures. Your new kitty just happens to be one of them. I know it's frustrating and probably really disappointing. SO enjoy the few times that he DOES let you pet him. lol

 

[kluchetta]

One thing that might help a little would be if you are looking at him across the room, do the 'slow blink' at him. And just do a petting 'drive by'. At least it will keep him knowing that you love him.

When I was growing up, we had a cat that was strictly my mom's. So I just ignored her and concentrated on the others, LOL.

 

[kailie]

I do the "slow blink" with my kitties all the time and I thinkt hat it really creates a bond.

I have 2 who are very independant and who will NOT be picked up but can be loved on, on their terms only. I have 2 who are a little affectionate, but not overly so and then I have 4 who are completely love bugs who can't get enough affection.

 

[otto]

None of my cats like to be picked up (they are all lap cats though) but I do it every day anyway. I want them to know it is okay for me to pick them up, that nothing bad will happen.

There are times when a cat absolutely has to be handled by humans, so I think it's good to get them used to it.

I pick each cat up in turn, give him or her a nice kiss, then put them back down again. They don't like it, but forgive instantly.