Hello, this will be a bit long so please bare with me.
Ever since I was born, I have known this cat, my parents picked him up from the SPCA when he was about 2 or 3 they tell me. I grew up with him and he was like a brother to me. Now on this note, I was a kid, and like most kids who rough around with things, I could be rough with my cat. For example, I really liked putting him in a blanket and taking him around with me, I would also like to lay on the bed and put him under a bed cover since he was very soft and warm, and as a kid I really liked that. When he got older he got grumpy though and liked to just sit around, but I would force him to visit me. He never really clawed me or got angry, except a few times. Sometimes he would hiss, growl, or claw me, and when he did I would put pressure on his hand or pinch him to show him that him doing that hurt me as well, and I remember a few times I had thrown him away because he clawed me.
Please keep in mind it is not like I was some grown man, I was a kid, it wasn't hard, but thinking back on it now I hate myself for it anyways, and I wish I didn't do it. I really wish I didn't, I have so much regret, I feel depressed and guilty constantly.
He died when I was 16, leaving him to be around 18-19, I remember about a week before I was laying with him on my bed and rolled over to get my remote and accidentally sort of went on him, I am not sure if it hurt him or not. But the week of his death, one day he was fine, moving around, sluggish as usual, me and my family had noticed a decline in his health in his older years such as he sort of struggled to get up and down the stairs, but he was still carrying on. The next from him being normal, he could barely walk, he wasn't cleaning himself and he peed himself as well. He would not eat or drink. A day later it was the same, and then the day after, he couldn't even stand up. The night of his death I sat beside him, petting him, trying to get him to drink, every time I would force water into his mouth he cough/choke. I went to check on my computer for 10-15 minutes, and it was quite a stormy night and my power had surged due to a lightning strike nearby which made me angry, so I decided to just get off the computer and go back out to see my cat, he was dead. I regret going on the computer that night, why would I do that? Should I have done that? Do you think the cat was angry I left his side right before he died?
The vet, and my parents said he died of old age, I asked my parents and told them that I was rough with him, they were quite aware of that, but they re-assured me it was not my fault, and he died of old age, and that the age he lived to was impressive for a cat, that only eased my mind for a while. Our cat was very well fed, and given clean water, and was indoors which all keeps him healthy, although he did have a bad case of gingivitis that developed in his later years that led to his teeth being partially rotted, the vet said it was common in old cats and that operating would be too risky. I am really not sure if it was my fault or not and would like to get your opinion on this.
I am in my late 17's about to turn 18 and constantly question myself about it, I have got a new cat and raised it from a kitten and treat it like a diamond, I never want to feel the same guilt ever again in my life, but every time I see the cat I think of my old cat, could it have been my fault? I loved to visit my cat and tried to be nice to him, but sometimes I would get angry that he would get mad, do you think he hated me?
I know there is a lot of questions but even if you only answer one it would be a relief to me, I have had no one to really talk to about this and it has really been something I want to discuss with other people who will understand.
His health history is he was quite obese at one point, then slimmed down, then gained some weight again, and at his old age he was a decent sized cat, I believe he weighed about 10-15 pounds, not exactly sure though. He had quite a few cyst on him, they were hard lumps, balls actually, that were located on him. The vet came and removed some but a few came back. That is really all I can think of. My dad also claims he could of got a disease from a bird he killed about a week before, since one had got into the house, and he chewed on it for a bit or something, not exactly sure, I was busy at the time, I am not sure if there is any truth behind that though.
Thank you for reading.
Ever since I was born, I have known this cat, my parents picked him up from the SPCA when he was about 2 or 3 they tell me. I grew up with him and he was like a brother to me. Now on this note, I was a kid, and like most kids who rough around with things, I could be rough with my cat. For example, I really liked putting him in a blanket and taking him around with me, I would also like to lay on the bed and put him under a bed cover since he was very soft and warm, and as a kid I really liked that. When he got older he got grumpy though and liked to just sit around, but I would force him to visit me. He never really clawed me or got angry, except a few times. Sometimes he would hiss, growl, or claw me, and when he did I would put pressure on his hand or pinch him to show him that him doing that hurt me as well, and I remember a few times I had thrown him away because he clawed me.
Please keep in mind it is not like I was some grown man, I was a kid, it wasn't hard, but thinking back on it now I hate myself for it anyways, and I wish I didn't do it. I really wish I didn't, I have so much regret, I feel depressed and guilty constantly.
He died when I was 16, leaving him to be around 18-19, I remember about a week before I was laying with him on my bed and rolled over to get my remote and accidentally sort of went on him, I am not sure if it hurt him or not. But the week of his death, one day he was fine, moving around, sluggish as usual, me and my family had noticed a decline in his health in his older years such as he sort of struggled to get up and down the stairs, but he was still carrying on. The next from him being normal, he could barely walk, he wasn't cleaning himself and he peed himself as well. He would not eat or drink. A day later it was the same, and then the day after, he couldn't even stand up. The night of his death I sat beside him, petting him, trying to get him to drink, every time I would force water into his mouth he cough/choke. I went to check on my computer for 10-15 minutes, and it was quite a stormy night and my power had surged due to a lightning strike nearby which made me angry, so I decided to just get off the computer and go back out to see my cat, he was dead. I regret going on the computer that night, why would I do that? Should I have done that? Do you think the cat was angry I left his side right before he died?
The vet, and my parents said he died of old age, I asked my parents and told them that I was rough with him, they were quite aware of that, but they re-assured me it was not my fault, and he died of old age, and that the age he lived to was impressive for a cat, that only eased my mind for a while. Our cat was very well fed, and given clean water, and was indoors which all keeps him healthy, although he did have a bad case of gingivitis that developed in his later years that led to his teeth being partially rotted, the vet said it was common in old cats and that operating would be too risky. I am really not sure if it was my fault or not and would like to get your opinion on this.
I am in my late 17's about to turn 18 and constantly question myself about it, I have got a new cat and raised it from a kitten and treat it like a diamond, I never want to feel the same guilt ever again in my life, but every time I see the cat I think of my old cat, could it have been my fault? I loved to visit my cat and tried to be nice to him, but sometimes I would get angry that he would get mad, do you think he hated me?
I know there is a lot of questions but even if you only answer one it would be a relief to me, I have had no one to really talk to about this and it has really been something I want to discuss with other people who will understand.
His health history is he was quite obese at one point, then slimmed down, then gained some weight again, and at his old age he was a decent sized cat, I believe he weighed about 10-15 pounds, not exactly sure though. He had quite a few cyst on him, they were hard lumps, balls actually, that were located on him. The vet came and removed some but a few came back. That is really all I can think of. My dad also claims he could of got a disease from a bird he killed about a week before, since one had got into the house, and he chewed on it for a bit or something, not exactly sure, I was busy at the time, I am not sure if there is any truth behind that though.
Thank you for reading.