My Cat Avoids Me For Leaving Him...

[crizze]

Hello,
I was hoping someone could help me with my cat, Atlas. He's around a year and a half old, neutered, and the first cat I've ever had, only pet at my house at the moment. I adopted him when he was a baby, around 2 months old, and he's always been super cuddly and loving; sleeping on top of me, following me everywhere, kneading on me, purring, and so on...
This is gonna be a bit long to explain...
This year I got diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease. I'm a 24yo female. Because of this, I've been hospitalized too many times to count. The first time I was away for 2 full weeks.
He's indoors and has my family taking care of him; my older brother mostly; feeds and plays with him, and everytime I'm away they all tell me how much he misses me, waiting by the front window expecting me, searching for me around the house, asking for extra attention...
But when I finally come back home, he barely approaches me.
He smells me a bit and then leaves. I get gradually more responses the more I am home, but everytime I make progress, I end up setting everything back (I have to return to be hospitalized and spend the night there every 2 months for treatment...). When I come back is the same story over again...
It's heartbreaking to have him avoiding me like this, as if he doesn't trust I'll be back...
He does hoover around me when I get back at least. Follows me around too... My brother says he avoids his bed and my entire bedroom when I'm away, and only goes there to eat. And when I come back he's the first one to greet me by the window meowing desperatly, but as soon as I'm inside, he ignores me.
What can I do?...
I have given him all the space and time in the world, and lots of love when he comes near me, but I dunno if I'm doing anything wrong... he barely ever purrs for me, no more kneading, or sleeping on top of me... I miss all that...
Thank you if you got this far, sorry for the long post.
Hope someone can give me some insight...

 

[Ceracera]

Its probably the same reason cats avoid other cats that have been to the vet. You probably smell like the hospital :/

 

[crizze]

Its probably the same reason cats avoid other cats that have been to the vet. You probably smell like the hospital :/

I've thought of that, but asides from showering, I don't know what can I do about it

 

[Ceracera]

Maybe you can put on some clothes that were worn before going to the hospital? Thats probably what id try.

Maybe some other people can offer better suggestions.

 

[crizze]

Maybe you can put on some clothes that were worn before going to the hospital? Thats probably what id try.

Maybe some other people can offer better suggestions.

That actually I could try... but next time...
I have no clothes worn before I left, it has all been washed...

 

[Shane Kent]

"sorry for the long post." You never, ever need to be sorry on this site and the more detail the better. I don't own the site but I am sure the site owner, Anne, would agree.

"I dunno if I'm doing anything wrong" You aren't doing anything wrong, it is not like you have a choice. In fact you are doing things right by reaching out for help.

Cats don't like a change in routine and your life got flipped upside down. A change in routine can stress a cat out.

You can click or touch the article titles it will take you to the articles :

Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist

Is Your Cat Stressed Out?

You, Your Cat And Stress

Solving Cat Behavior Problems: The Key Ingredient

Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats

If I were you I would start with determining if the cat is stressed out, which it likely is. In addition to that do not let him stress you out because he can pick up on your anxiety and it will make him more stressed. Then hunt the Internet for advice on helping him deal with the stress.

The best advice I got from people on this site is be patient. Apply lots of patience, love and understanding you are likely to turn this around.

 

[verna davies]

You could try getting a small blanket or fleece, make sure your smell is well and truly on it. If you have to be away again, leave the blanket where the cat spends a lot of time. Then when you are back home wrap yourself in the blanket. Cats are very keen on smells and as Ceracera said, it could be the hospital smell he doesn't like.

 

[crizze]

"sorry for the long post." You never, ever need to be sorry on this site and the more detail the better. I don't own the site but I am sure the site owner, Anne, would agree.

"I dunno if I'm doing anything wrong" You aren't doing anything wrong, it is not like you have a choice. In fact you are doing things right by reaching out for help.

Cats don't like a change in routine and your life got flipped upside down. A change in routine can stress a cat out.

You can click or touch the article titles it will take you to the articles :

Potential Stressors In Cats - The Ultimate Checklist

Is Your Cat Stressed Out?

You, Your Cat And Stress

Solving Cat Behavior Problems: The Key Ingredient

Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats

If I were you I would start with determining if the cat is stressed out, which it likely is. In addition to that do not let him stress you out because he can pick up on your anxiety and it will make him more stressed. Then hunt the Internet for advice on helping him deal with the stress.

The best advice I got from people on this site is be patient. Apply lots of patience, love and understanding you are likely to turn this around.

Thank you very much!
If I'm being perfectly honest, chances are he is stressed, because I myself am a mess of anxiety and stress since this started. I'm trying to get myself together and keep things as normal as possible...
But I'm not stressed because of him; I'm happy when he comes around me. I spend a lot of my time in bed currently so his company is always nice. I'm working on my anxiety levels; for my own health currently, but I feel kinda guilty that it affects him too...

Last night he cuddled with me!
First time he's done that in months. He used to sleep on my chest after suckling on my earlobe for a while, purring, and he did that last night and we fell asleep like that. I missed his purrs
I think I'll try to do the blanket with my smells thing when I'm away next time, see if it makes him more comfortable when I get back. I can't avoid leaving for a while sometimes but that on itself shouldn't be such a stresser for him; might be just my stress affecting him, as you said. Will have to work on it...

Thank you!

 

[crizze]

You could try getting a small blanket or fleece, make sure your smell is well and truly on it. If you have to be away again, leave the blanket where the cat spends a lot of time. Then when you are back home wrap yourself in the blanket. Cats are very keen on smells and as Ceracera said, it could be the hospital smell he doesn't like.

Thank you!
I could try that, but the thing, he spends most of his time, usually, in my bedroom with me. His cat tree is there, his carrier where he sleeps is also here, food too... but when I'm gone my brother says he avoids my room. Only goes in to eat or drink and then leaves. So I wouldn't really know where to leave this blanket... I have one I use a lot on my computer chair, must have my smell and he likes it when I use it on the bed.
I can use it when I get back, see if he likes me better like that, but I doubt he'll use it while I'm gone..

 

[crizze]

Internet issues made me triple post, I dunno how to delete a message, I'm sorry!

 

[verna davies]

Try leaving the blanket on your bed. That might work. Glad he is back to cuddling, enjoy it and keep well

 

[crizze]

Try leaving the blanket on your bed. That might work. Glad he is back to cuddling, enjoy it and keep well

That I can do! Thanks!
I'll try it. I have two months before I have to go back but I'll make sure to remember and ask my family to keep me updated about it
I will enjoy it while it lasts, thank you