My boyfriends mother(A long rant)

[ut0pia]

The situation sucks- try to talk to your boyfriend into moving somewhere where she doesn't live with you...

 

[ut0pia]

Originally Posted by angelic00

In some ways my first marriage ended because of his mother,He was abusive and hit me his mother was always at my house and when he would hit me in front of her she told me i better not go blaming her son for it,Even though his father was ready to beat him when he found out.
I am beyond excited about her moving out it will be alot harder on the bills and such since i was cut off my disability but i am willing to make it work.

that sounds horrible.....Mothers are the ones who teach their sons how to treat women she was not doing her job as a mother...

 

[fastnoc]

Originally Posted by BMW Kitty Cat

Congrats!!!

Make sure you never ever agree to have her move back in with you guys. It's so sad but mother in laws are like the devil!!! Eek

You know, I find this pretty offensive. Her boyfriend was born and raised by that woman. Isn't there a chance that the best thing to do is for him to do whatever it takes to take care of his mother?

From the posts, she's not a burden on them other than her intrusiveness which is probably a mistake and is surely done out of love, not bad intentions.

A good sit down with all 3 and iron out the boundries would be a much better solution, and I'll tell ya one thing, any woman that tries to put my mother out would be packing her bags.

I do want to clarify something though, I'm happy for angelico getting relief. I do understand the frustration.

 

[angelic00]

She has caused so many arguments and fights between me and Aaron it was at the point it was her or me(and i would have gladly left)She is never home anymore which is a good thing,she is moving at the end of the month and will not be here much until then.Anyone can take offense to me not wanting her living with me,but it is time whether she like it or not to leave us alone and let us have our own lives(we are 30 already).

 

[fastnoc]

I didn't take offense to your post at all. and I DO understand your position. What I don't agree with is someone thinking they somehow have a right to refuse to let their SO offer assistance to the people that dedicated their lives to raising them.

I think you have plenty of room to vent. I didn't see you saying you were telling him to tell her to move, sounds like you accepted it, and just got upset at things. That, to me is a valiant thing, to agree to live in a tense situation for the consideration of your S/O's family responsibilities

 

[angelic00]

It might have worked out if when we talked to her she did not take things way to seriously.She is going to live with her daughter and her boyfriend,So it is not like she is left in the cold.

 

[fastnoc]

it probably bugs me a little because i'm dead center in that situation.

I also know when my grandpa died (i was too young to remember) my mom's mother stayed with all of her kids. 3 months at a time with all 3. She did this for over 20 years.

Personally I think it would be awful to be that age and not have your own roots somewhere, but then again, she never had a driver license either. So some people just think differently

Glad to hear she got tied in with a family member.

 

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by angelic00

She is going to live with her daughter and her boyfriend

Ironically that's what a woman at work is doing.

She is eligible to retire and her and her husband talked with their daughter and her husband who live about 2 hours out of the City and all have agreed that she should retire and her and her husband should move in with the daughter and her family.

Apparently they all get along very well and are very close.

From what I understand is the daughter and her husband have a huge house, so the woman from work and her husband are selling their own house in the City and when they move in with their daughter this summer, they will have their bedroom and share the rest of the common space as part of the family and help with part of the mortgage payment.

This arrangement will get the daughter's house paid off much faster and also allow them to all be near one another.

I don't have any parents now, but if I did, at this point in my life I'd love to have them living with me. I miss my parents a great deal. I haven't had the experience of parents as an adult since both of mine died when I was 15 and 16 years old, so I don't know how I would deal with a meddling parent. I think my reaction now that I'm in my 40's would be very different than it would have been when I was in my 20's though. I was quite the "wild child" in my 20's and I'm sure my Mom would have been at me left, right and centre about some of the things I did and my behaviour in general.