My boyfriend's cat likes me more and is jealous

[kitty32]

I moved in with my boyfriend a little while ago and we've both noticed that his cat gives me more attention than him. When we started dating I tried to make friends with the cat, especially being that I am not a cat person, but until I moved in the cat clearly preferred my bf (I never wanted the cat to prefer me as it is his cat). Now he follows me everywhere and always comes to sit with me, he actually seems to avoid my bf and resist him which he didn't do before. The cat has always been a stress reliever for my bf and it's like I've taken that away from him. Bf thinks it's because I work from home often and the cat sees me more, but I've been ignoring the cat for two weeks now during the day if I'm home and when my bf is around and nothing has changed. I also stopped feeding the cat and making my bf do it to see if that changed anything but no luck. My bf brings it up jokingly how the cat likes me more, but I can tell he's getting really hurt /upset about it. Any advice would be much appreciated!

 

[Columbine]

I think your BF is right - the cat is gravitating to you because you're home more of the time.

There is no way to force a cat to favour one person over another, but food and interactive play are the two quickest ways to form or strengthen a bond. If your BF does all the feeding and has daily playtime with the cat that should really help.[article="0"][/article][article="0"][/article]

Cats sometimes go in phases too when it comes to their affection. I've had cats that would follow me around for a while, then switch to my mum, then back to me. It might even be that the cat is welcoming you to your new home in his own way

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I absolutely agree with Columbine (actually, I usually do agree with Columbine).  Cats do often switch off, and some of it could be because you are new, and therefore very interesting. 

Does your bf have interactive toys for the cat?  And does this cat have a name?  Interactive toys can be the key to a cat's heart.  Hekitty's very "favoritest" one is a bunch of feathers on a string, attached to a pole.  She'll jump and leap like a kitten for as long as my arm will hold out making the feathers fly like birds.  Play time is essential bonding time with a cat.  The more the bf spends in interactive play, the more the cat will gravitate back to him. 

 

[maryann118]

Ouch! That's gotta hurt! Your poor boyfriend. I really think you're just a novelty at this point, like a new toy, and things will even out in a month or so. Also, there could be something about your smell that the cat is attracted to. When my sister got pregnant, her once aloof cat became wildly affectionate, and went bonkers for the new baby. Seriously, that baby could slam her head right into the cat's belly, and she would just roll over, like this was the best thing in the world. She had no fear of that kid whatsoever, and stayed very bonded to her until she passed away when the child was about five (giving her first experience with death). But I digress...

I'm having affection issues with my own cat right now (just posted my own issue tonight), so I feel your BF's pain! It's heartbreaking when you lose your cat's love, for whatever reason. He can try playing and feeding, but he might also want to try some food additives that are known to make cats more affectionate, like Zylkene (which contains casein, a milk derivative) or Royal Canin Calm Cat Food (dry). While these items are designed to lower the stress of a cat, they're also known to make cats more affectionate in general. Might be worth a try. I've just started with the Zylkene myself and have only been using it two days, so I've nothing to report yet. I also just ordered the Royal Canin food, which is pricey, but it would only be short term. My cat suffered with a sudden illness that created a type of PTSD, so I'm trying to get her to calm down and win her love back.

The upshot? Cats are WEIRD.  And they can be so frustrating...and heartbreaking when they act this way. It really is no joke, as it's a true loss when they lose their affection for you.