I am totally broken…I am in pieces. I can't eat, I can’t sleep, I can't work, I will probably get fired if things don't change soon.. I am just broken.
She was a rescue, found her in an old abandoned farm three years ago. A little wild, with attitude but scared, beautiful creature.
Got her with me in the car straight to the Vet. She was pregnant.
Took her home. A month later she got her babies in a box we set up for her on our sofa. Witnessing everything, the birth of two beautiful kittens.
We kept them. She was the best mom in the world. learned so much from her.
This cat was so special, really, really special! I somehow got that connection with her, it happens only once in a lifetime I think. I deeply loved all the animals I shared my life with so far, but this cat... it was a different, very strong connection.
I had cats before, dogs, horses....but this one was something really special.
I was singing to her, she was walking with me, staring at me sometimes, she was different, there was something there... I felt love, pure, unconditional love.
She got sick three days ago. Was Sunday, no Vets where I live.
It wasn't very bad, she looked ok, just not great of appetite but nothing major.
I thought we go to the Vet first thing Monday morning.
Then Sunday evening she went out about 8.00pm, looked at me for a while and just went outside, sat outside still looking through the window door, and then just left. It was strange, and I kind of felt something but wasn't sure what it is...
She normally comes back in an hour or so, since I got her she never missed a night, but this time she didn't come back.
I started panicking, went looking for her at around 10pm. We live in a rural area and have a shed in the woods, but we also have a very secure large garden, and she loved the garden.
I spent the night looking for her, I spent Monday all day looking for her. I spent all day Tuesday looking for her.
I was calling her name, almost shouting, crying. Never found her!
I am wondering...did she just leave me to die on her own?
I know she loved me and she would never run away, she would never do that.
Her two kittens (a girl and a boy) still with me. Love them to death…..but she not being around is killing me. The feeling is way too strong.
I haven't eaten since the evening she disappeared. No sleep whatsoever, no work, not able to focus…..I am just so sad, it takes me by storm! Never felt like this before.
I lost both my parents, lost some close to me people, but this cat, I have never felt anything like this before.
I just don't know what to do. I am afraid to look at her pictures but will post one here in her memory.
The hour of "sleep" I got last night, was me dreaming she is coming back, woke up and cried and cried and cried.
I just want to see her again, just one more time, just 5 min and she can go if she wants to.
Deep inside, I know she is gone, I can feel it.
It hurts, just the thought her lifeless body is somewhere there and I couldn't find it, just to keep her in my hands one more time.
I am totally lost.
How do I let go, I cannot continue to feel like this. ..
Lord, I love her so much!
RIP My Beloved Jessie! You such a beautiful soul...
She was a rescue, found her in an old abandoned farm three years ago. A little wild, with attitude but scared, beautiful creature.
Got her with me in the car straight to the Vet. She was pregnant.
Took her home. A month later she got her babies in a box we set up for her on our sofa. Witnessing everything, the birth of two beautiful kittens.
We kept them. She was the best mom in the world. learned so much from her.
This cat was so special, really, really special! I somehow got that connection with her, it happens only once in a lifetime I think. I deeply loved all the animals I shared my life with so far, but this cat... it was a different, very strong connection.
I had cats before, dogs, horses....but this one was something really special.
I was singing to her, she was walking with me, staring at me sometimes, she was different, there was something there... I felt love, pure, unconditional love.
She got sick three days ago. Was Sunday, no Vets where I live.
It wasn't very bad, she looked ok, just not great of appetite but nothing major.
I thought we go to the Vet first thing Monday morning.
Then Sunday evening she went out about 8.00pm, looked at me for a while and just went outside, sat outside still looking through the window door, and then just left. It was strange, and I kind of felt something but wasn't sure what it is...
She normally comes back in an hour or so, since I got her she never missed a night, but this time she didn't come back.
I started panicking, went looking for her at around 10pm. We live in a rural area and have a shed in the woods, but we also have a very secure large garden, and she loved the garden.
I spent the night looking for her, I spent Monday all day looking for her. I spent all day Tuesday looking for her.
I was calling her name, almost shouting, crying. Never found her!
I am wondering...did she just leave me to die on her own?
I know she loved me and she would never run away, she would never do that.
Her two kittens (a girl and a boy) still with me. Love them to death…..but she not being around is killing me. The feeling is way too strong.
I haven't eaten since the evening she disappeared. No sleep whatsoever, no work, not able to focus…..I am just so sad, it takes me by storm! Never felt like this before.
I lost both my parents, lost some close to me people, but this cat, I have never felt anything like this before.
I just don't know what to do. I am afraid to look at her pictures but will post one here in her memory.
The hour of "sleep" I got last night, was me dreaming she is coming back, woke up and cried and cried and cried.
I just want to see her again, just one more time, just 5 min and she can go if she wants to.
Deep inside, I know she is gone, I can feel it.
It hurts, just the thought her lifeless body is somewhere there and I couldn't find it, just to keep her in my hands one more time.
I am totally lost.
How do I let go, I cannot continue to feel like this. ..
Lord, I love her so much!
RIP My Beloved Jessie! You such a beautiful soul...