My Baby Kitty of 15 Years

[Mchammer12]

He passed away but always at the beginning of my day and through the night, he comforted me.
He would directly lay his head on my pillow facing me and put his paw in my hand and go to sleep and if his ears perked up I knew he heard something but if he laid back down I felt safe. At the end of my day he was my GO-TO kitty.

I don't like the way it happened because he just stopped eating, drinking and going to the bathroom, all together. I was not one to assume he was constipated again because he had, had that problem for so long in his little life. I forever was looking for a way to cure him and he always ended up at the Vet getting an enema. They didn't give him an enema this time. Prior to, I tried everything but this time it wasn't just constipation.

They did X-rays on 4/11/23 and they found nothing but some small BM they thought might be holding back the softer and larger behind! So, they said he gets so worked up and stressed staying overnight here, we will treat him as an outpatient. I was happy to bring him home! She gave him an injection of prednisone and oral meds to help him with the BM and to get him to start to eat. drink etc and to take home with me hoping for him to start to live his normal life.

He started to eat and drink and went to the bathroom until the 7th day and last day for taking the prednisone. That evening he was laying in the living room with labored breathing and I called the ER number and they were several hours away from where I lived and told them about it being his last day of Prednisone but since they weren't his Drs, they suggested that maybe it was due not having the prednisone and to give him 1 ml., so i did and to call his vet in the morning, if he didn't change for the better!

He seemed a little better but still had labored breathing, so I thought first thing in the morning, he is going to the Vet, as an ER but I couldn't find him right away to take him. I looked at every possible usual place and he was a 14 lb and a long kitty, so there weren't a lot of places to hide. He was under the spare room bed hiding, which he has never been under there, since he was a kitten to my knowledge and I had to pull him out ! Then he fought and didn't want in the carrier, which he always just went in like a little trooper before. Plus he howled on the way to the vet which he never did and his breathing was congested.

They took he and I to a room right away and usually he growled at the vet and the girls but a girl came in and she said do you think he will allow me to just carry him and I said Yes because he is so sick and that was the first time ever at the vets that he ever let anyone do that. They always had to take him to where they would do the blood work and x-rays in his carrier. He was very different. Not the M.C. that I knew. She brought in the x-ray and showed me on 4/19/23 that his lungs were full of fluid and all around his heart and yet on 4/11/23 nothing like that at all. She said I can try to reduce the fluid but didn't look happy.

After 15 minutes she shook her head but had him with her and they already had a little IV in his front paw and his breathing was so awful but she said I will leave you alone with him but if he worsens just open the door. I knew he was dying and I was crying and hugging him and said I was so sorry and his breathing was worsening and I know he was in pain, I opened the door and she was there with the needle to euthanize him and she said it doesn't take long to work and she was right, his eyes were still open but his little tongue came out. She ;listened with a stethoscope and said he is gone.

It was the worst thing in my life I ever witnessed and I have had plenty of pets but never had that done to any of them. But there was nothing more that could be done. So I kissed his little forehead again and said may your spirit be with your brother Hammer and sister Spirit who had passed within the three years prior because Hammer had renal failure and Spirit was born with Kidney disease. I had a mask and it was soaked from all the tears. The girls ask me , that worked out front ,how did it go, as I was leaving and I shook my head no, as I left with his empty carrier and was crying. I know that anyone that has had a pet knows and feel just as devastated but I had to tell me story!

I am really having a time getting through this so it was suggested I come here. Thank all who read my story . I am not sure reliving this will help or not but I hope so.

 

[Margot Lane]

You obviously did all you could. Sometimes relieving your dear kitty of pain is the most loving & courageous thing, after sharing deep moments of friendship together. Hang on to what was wonderful about him and that will keep you warm & safe as the grief ebbs. He would not want you to suffer either but remember the joys you both had together. The purity of his love is his gift to you…thank you for being a very caring cat owner.

 

[di and bob]

You gave him a home and 15 years of unconditional love, all he ever wanted. you tried to help, but sometimes whatever we do is just not enough to fight against the unknown.
Of course, you are distressed, you went through a traumatic ordeal. you lost someone you love dearly and who was a part of your very soul. This is something you never get over, you have to learn ways to work through it. It DOES get better. We are here as living proof. There is no easy way to deal with grief, and everyone deals with it in their own way on their own timeline. Time is the only thing that helps. and something this traumatic takes a few years to process, That doesn't mean you will always feel this bad, you will slowly learn a new life's order and eventually your grief will turn to gratitude for having him share your life for so long. And for what he taught you.
try not to dwell on his end, distract yourself, and distance yourself from the pain. for now. It changes absolutely nothing and only brings pain and heartache. You could NOT let him suffer, and he was in pain.
Go forward now and live your life as you would have wanted for him to go forward if you were the first to go. Not in perpetual sadness and tears, but seeking more love to share what his legacy taught you. What he so lovingly gave you for 15 years, the meaning of a cat's love......
We are here any time you need to talk or to ask questions, so many of us have all stood in your shoes. I know for me, trying to comfort the inconsolable brings about a little comfort for myself. Right now just get through each hour, each day, each month, as best you can. knowing your love is spiritual, so eternal. That he will forever be tied to your soul and will be forever as close as your thoughts and prayers. He would never want you to be so sad, he loves you too much. Live one day at a time until you get to a place that you can handle. We are here for you, you are not alone. We can share that burden because we empathize with you and what you are going through.
I am so sorry you have to go through this.......RIP dear M.C. You will always be remembered, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Mchammer12]

You gave him a home and 15 years of unconditional love, all he ever wanted. you tried to help, but sometimes whatever we do is just not enough to fight against the unknown.
Of course, you are distressed, you went through a traumatic ordeal. you lost someone you love dearly and who was a part of your very soul. This is something you never get over, you have to learn ways to work through it. It DOES get better. We are here as living proof. There is no easy way to deal with grief, and everyone deals with it in their own way on their own timeline. Time is the only thing that helps. and something this traumatic takes a few years to process, That doesn't mean you will always feel this bad, you will slowly learn a new life's order and eventually your grief will turn to gratitude for having him share your life for so long. And for what he taught you.
try not to dwell on his end, distract yourself, and distance yourself from the pain. for now. It changes absolutely nothing and only brings pain and heartache. You could NOT let him suffer, and he was in pain.
Go forward now and live your life as you would have wanted for him to go forward if you were the first to go. Not in perpetual sadness and tears, but seeking more love to share what his legacy taught you. What he so lovingly gave you for 15 years, the meaning of a cat's love......
We are here any time you need to talk or to ask questions, so many of us have all stood in your shoes. I know for me, trying to comfort the inconsolable brings about a little comfort for myself. Right now just get through each hour, each day, each month, as best you can. knowing your love is spiritual, so eternal. That he will forever be tied to your soul and will be forever as close as your thoughts and prayers. He would never want you to be so sad, he loves you too much. Live one day at a time until you get to a place that you can handle. We are here for you, you are not alone. We can share that burden because we empathize with you and what you are going through.
I am so sorry you have to go through this.......RIP dear M.C. You will always be remembered, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. may the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[betsygee]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty. It's so very hard at the end when you know there's nothing more you can do for them but let them go so they won't suffer any more. It's one of the most difficult decisions a person has to make for their beloved fur-buddies. My heart goes out to you.

Rest in peace now, sweet boy.

 

[Mchammer12]

Thank you for consoling me about my sweet little kitty! I guess the hardest part is that I feel that I had part in the enthunism and I know I didnt do it, the vet did but felt no other resolve but to put him out of his pain and not being able to breath but I have always been a strong and willful person but there was no other answer.
I will always remember the sweet things he meant to me as I did Hammer and Spirit , his brother and sister but I did not witness their passing. Perhaps that makes me not a good person but I was told by the vet on phone immediately about Hammer having renal failure and dehydrating due to it and Spirit filling up with fluid due to kidney disease but I could not bring myself to witness it but this time, though i know there is always a choice, I made the choice to be with him because i was there at the time he was suffering.
So I will always love and cherish all 3, as i have all of my past pets!
But this was just a first time for me witnessing that I have to push through but it did just happen in May 2023

 

[di and bob]

It's so very hard to witness what you did, I hope you can get some comfort knowing he is at peace because he holds your love. Your other kitties knew they were loved too, they hold you in their hearts also. They all held on to their thoughts of you as they passed and were comforted by it......

 

[Mchammer12]

It's so very hard to witness what you did, I hope you can get some comfort knowing he is at peace because he holds your love. Your other kitties knew they were loved too, they hold you in their hearts also. They all held on to their thoughts of you as they passed and were comforted by it......

Indeed it was! Thank you

 

[Mchammer12]

Indeed it was! Thank you

All Three M.C. & Hammer & Spirit

 

[Mchammer12]

Thank you again ever so much for the comforting thoughts!

 

[marshmallow2013]

I am very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. You were by his side until he passed. M.C. knew you loved him very much.
RIP M.C. Sweet Baby

 

[Mchammer12]

Thank you! I know he knew I loved him and he me unconditionally!
Kitties are so comforting and I miss him so very much!
He was just a perfect kitty!
So cute to watch him just walking around the house while I would be eating my breakfast or jumping on my lap to stretch out to sleep and go to bed with me and sleep on my pillow and find his paw under the covers to put in my hand.
He was just the most darling!
Best little friend of almost 15 years.
He and his brother Hammer under the tree.
Both brothers were adorable and so was their sister Spirit

 

[di and bob]

It's so nice to have those beautiful memories. One day they will bring you comfort......

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, M.C., dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Now you have done the hardest thing we ever do, you have put someone's well-being above your own heartbreak. You walked with M.C. to that Gate between This Adventure and his Next Great Adventure, and you sent your love with him to guide his way. Now, from his new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, he blesses you for every day wrapped in your love, and he sends his own, now translated and purified into Love, back to walk with you down throught all of your days. Because Love abides. Now and forever, Love abides.

 

[Mchammer12]

Rest you gentle, M.C., dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Now you have done the hardest thing we ever do, you have put someone's well-being above your own heartbreak. You walked with M.C. to that Gate between This Adventure and his Next Great Adventure, and you sent your love with him to guide his way. Now, from his new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, he blesses you for every day wrapped in your love, and he sends his own, now translated and purified into Love, back to walk with you down throught all of your days. Because Love abides. Now and forever, Love abides.

I never looked at it that way before that I have put someones well-being above my own heartbreak!
Those words will stay with me and help me through this walk of life that I have never faced with before!
Thank you for those meaningful words!