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Caspurr
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My baby girl is gone
- Thread starter runekeeper
- Start Date
Caspurr
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #22
Sorry for dragging this back up to the top. I've just been emotional about my kitty Rolly and his illness, and my mother having a fit a couple days ago. She told me that "everything I did to Caspurr was a sin." Now the "sin" thing didn't bother me because I'm not religious, but what upset me was being told that I did things "to" Caspurr. Not "for" her. I let it get to me more than I should have because while I think I'm doing well coping with the loss of Caspurr, I still question the choices I made for her and do regret other ones. So this is sort of opening an old wound for me and now I've gone back to questioning what I did for my kitty in her final weeks. I've never had to deal with the kind of things Caspurr had going on - I've never had a cat with cancer before, and she also had a stricture (which, from what I know, is very rare in cats, so I can see why lots of tests were necessary to diagnose it). So some of my choices were probably based on emotions or my wanting so much to know what was going on, even if it was terminal. I hope when my mother's dogs die, she scrambles to help them so I can tell her what a "sin" it is that she tried to save them.
First of all, hugs to you and I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved furbaby. She sounds like such a wonderful kitty, with such spunk. Please don't blame yourself. You did what you thought was best and that is all anyone can do. If you had let her go at the first vet appointment you would be here now questioning why you let her go "too early". I understand this tendency to blame yourself for every possible thing, as I do it too. But when I am calm and being truly honest with myself, I know without a doubt I did the best I could at the time, that my sweet kitties who have passed on had wonderful lives filled with love and happiness, and that they would not want me to beat myself up over what I "should have" done. Please be kind to yourself right now.
As for your mother, I am so very sorry she is acting like this. It is hard enough to lose a loved one without the cruelty of others adding to it. I'm not sure what "sin" she believes you committed regarding your beloved Caspurr, but I disagree with her, and I am a very religious person. However, I really do hope that you are just speaking in anger when you say you hope your mother experiences the same so you can be cruel to her in retaliation. I pray that should your mother experience similar events, you find it in your heart to be compassionate towards her, as she will be hurting just like you were.
Once again, hugs to you and I am so sorry for your loss. Caspurr is in a wonderful place now, free of all suffering, and would not want you to be so unhappy. Please feel free to post here anytime. You are not alone in your pain...
Hugs,
Amy, Furball in Heaven, Garfield in Heaven, Eclipse, Spooky, & Cutie
As for your mother, I am so very sorry she is acting like this. It is hard enough to lose a loved one without the cruelty of others adding to it. I'm not sure what "sin" she believes you committed regarding your beloved Caspurr, but I disagree with her, and I am a very religious person. However, I really do hope that you are just speaking in anger when you say you hope your mother experiences the same so you can be cruel to her in retaliation. I pray that should your mother experience similar events, you find it in your heart to be compassionate towards her, as she will be hurting just like you were.
Once again, hugs to you and I am so sorry for your loss. Caspurr is in a wonderful place now, free of all suffering, and would not want you to be so unhappy. Please feel free to post here anytime. You are not alone in your pain...
Hugs,
Amy, Furball in Heaven, Garfield in Heaven, Eclipse, Spooky, & Cutie
