I'm not looking for advice on this, because there really is no answer. I just need to vent, and to talk. I've realized my anxiety is getting so bad with Zoe. Tonight I nearly started balling simply because I couldn't find Zoe when I called her outside, and she didn't come to me. It wasn't even her curfew yet, she is normally in right around 8. (which she did just come in a few minutes ago)
I know where the anxiety comes from, it's from finding Callie when she was hit by a car 3 years ago. I know the simple answer is "just keep them inside, it's safer". Zoe found her way out and found ways to dart out when she was like 8 months old. For some reason or another, she loves outside so much and i couldn't do that to her.
I need to calm my worries. All I could think for just those few minutes, was the memory of finding Callie in the road, and then I was imagining having to call my Mom and tell her that our little buddy was gone.
Callie was a formal feral cat, that I had taken in right around the time I had gotten Lily. She roamed, that's what she knew. Zoe is pretty good at staying close, I just can't help always assuming the worst when I look outside or walk outside and I don't automatically see her. I'll probably never get over the fear, because the fear is real, because it did happen to Callie. I don't even know where I'm going with this post. I freaked Lily out with my worrying, I could tell she was kinda looking for Zoe too (for someone who hates her, ha!). I don't like stressing Lily out, I know she still remembers the night that we lost Callie. And all the while, little Ms. Zoe was being good, just didn't want to answer me at that moment, and out doing Zoe things. But I do this EVERY single time Zoe isn't exactly where I want her to be or if she's home even just a few minutes late.
I know where the anxiety comes from, it's from finding Callie when she was hit by a car 3 years ago. I know the simple answer is "just keep them inside, it's safer". Zoe found her way out and found ways to dart out when she was like 8 months old. For some reason or another, she loves outside so much and i couldn't do that to her.
I need to calm my worries. All I could think for just those few minutes, was the memory of finding Callie in the road, and then I was imagining having to call my Mom and tell her that our little buddy was gone.
Callie was a formal feral cat, that I had taken in right around the time I had gotten Lily. She roamed, that's what she knew. Zoe is pretty good at staying close, I just can't help always assuming the worst when I look outside or walk outside and I don't automatically see her. I'll probably never get over the fear, because the fear is real, because it did happen to Callie. I don't even know where I'm going with this post. I freaked Lily out with my worrying, I could tell she was kinda looking for Zoe too (for someone who hates her, ha!). I don't like stressing Lily out, I know she still remembers the night that we lost Callie. And all the while, little Ms. Zoe was being good, just didn't want to answer me at that moment, and out doing Zoe things. But I do this EVERY single time Zoe isn't exactly where I want her to be or if she's home even just a few minutes late.