My 5 year old rescue is miserable. Should I return him to the shelter?

[twinstars]

Hi everyone,

I have a 5 year old rescue from a local animal shelter. When I visited him, he was hiding, but I pet him and he LOVED it. He absolutely adored affection, and the employees and volunteers at the shelter said he would warm up and that he was shy because he missed some of the cats recently adopted.

It has now been 6 months and he's miserable and so are me and my boyfriend. At first things were fine (though he was scared and never really acted 
normal) because we kept him in the spare bedroom with his water, litter box and food. However, I made the mistake of keeping the door open one day so he could get adjusted to the house and since then all he has done is hide under the couch (yes, for SIX months).

I would also like to say that he refuses to play with toys, he is so scared that he will allow himself to starve rather than eat, and he has stopped using the litter box. Instead he's gone in my laundry basket filled with clothes, on my towels on the towel rack in the bathroom, my blanket on the couch - anything other than the litter box. I've put his messes in the litter box as recommended and it doesn't seem to matter. He did use the litter box when he was in the spare bedroom, but now I can't catch him as he's lightning fast and terrified of any sound or movement. He has no interest in going back into the spare room even though that's where I put his food every night. Instead, I have to put his food behind the couch or else he will not eat it.

I am beyond frustrated. Just about a week ago, I adopted another cat. Everyone, including the volunteers at the animal shelter, told me they thought he needed another cat to help bring out his friendly side again. It hasn't worked - they just ignore each other. I do not want to seem like someone who just "replaces" animals if I don't like them or their personality, because that isn't the case at all! I just don't know what I can do for him at this point.

Is there anyone who can provide me with some insight? What am I doing wrong? Should he be going back to the shelter? I can't get him to approach me or stop hiding and I think both of us are miserable at this point. I'm not even sure if he should be in a home because of how scared he is.

Thanks to everyone who reads or replies!

 

[diana 0125]

Hey,

I specifically just joined so I could reply  

Try putting Feliway diffusers in all the rooms your cat goes in, I had the same 

kind of scared cat and my vet gave me the diffusers as well as Sentry 

calming collars, they have a new corrective behavior spray that I haven't

tried yet, but heard and read really good reviews about. I attached info on products

below. The Feliway is a bit expensive, but it really works well. You can purchase

on Amazon or most pet stores. I'm attaching the website information so you 

can read more about the products

Don't try to get him out of his hiding places, once he starts feeling more 

comfortable he'll slowly start to approach you. If you saw it in him at the rescue

then he has it in him to be that cat.If you saw it in him at the rescue

then he has it in him to be that cat. It could take a while, but the Feliway Diffusers

& Sentry Spray should help. Don't give up on him yet!

Good Luck!

Diana

--------------------

http://www.feliway.com/us/Feliway 

"By mimicking the cat's natural facial pheromone, Feliway creates a state of familiarity and security in the cat's local environment.  As a result, Feliway can be used to help comfort and reassure cats while they cope with a challenging situation such as moving or traveling.  Feliway helps reduce or prevent unwanted behaviors caused by stress.

Feliway is the #1 selling brand for behavior in the world.  It is veterinary used and recommended, and clinically proven*.  

--------------------

http://www.sentrypetcare.com/products/sentry-stop-that-behavior-correction-spray-for-cats/

SENTRY Stop That! Behavior Correction Spray for Cats1 ozUPC: 073091023449

To modify destructive or aggressive behavior, this new product for cats combines a quick, attention-getting noise and a scientifically proven pheromone mist. The pheromone in the SENTRY Stop That! Spray mimics a natural pheromone and almost immediately calms and refocuses pets to end their negative behavior by reducing their excitability. Unlike other noise-making products that are very temporary, the spray's pheromone mist redirects the pet's attention and behavior. The effect is longer lasting than noise alone and helps the pet not to re-engage in the negative behavior.

• Uses noise and pheromone technology to stop bad behavior
• Clinically shown to provide quick, effective results without causing harm to cats
• Lavender chamomile fragrance
• Patent pending technology

 

[twinstars]

Hi Diana,

Thank you for your reply. I will most definitely try out Feliway! Though I would like to say, the friendliness I saw at the shelter was when my cat was cornered - I started petting him and eventually he warmed up. It's strange because the only time he acts that way is when he is cornered even here at home, which is rare since he started hiding under the couch. When he was in our spare room, I could pet him (even though he was terrified) and after about a minute he would turn into a different cat and it was as if he couldn't control it. I do have a vet appointment coming up to rule out any health issues, but this is only if I can trap him! But I will definitely try your suggestions in the mean time, though if you could provide me with your input regarding only letting me pet him when he is cornered, I would greatly appreciate it.

 

[diana 0125]

To me it sounds like his behavior is classic fear induced. Everything from hiding, not using his litter box and having no interest in play or interactions. 

This isn't uncommon in either rescue cats or even cats being rehired into a new enviornemnt.

Cats are not like dogs, for cats trust is everything. Cornering him to pet will only make him more fearful. With cats they have to come to you, it has to be on their terms, Also what you might perceive as friendly behavior such as tail wagging from a cat that you are petting, is actually a sign the cat is getting agitated and to leave it alone. If he didn't strike out at you when you cornered and pet him in the room, that's a very good sign that he is a mild mannered cat and will not necessarily be aggressive. When you left the door open, he wasn't yet comfortable in his 'safe room', so instead of seeing this as a chance to explore, he saw it as a chance to escape. 

When a cat is scared, the best thing you can do is leave it alone. Adding another cat when your resident cat is not settled in yet isn't such a good idea. 

They need to be separated if you still have the 2nd cat. 

What you have to do is build up his trust and it will alleviate his fear. BUT you have to 'think like a cat' in doing this. 

If his safe place right now is under the couch, I would let him be. (block the other cat out of the room). Continue to put his food

by the couch but also put the litter box in a spot next to the couch (as far from the food as possible) where he can reach it quickly ( and escape quickly if he feels threatened).Establish a routine that he can start to depend on and trust in. When you feed him, put his food down and push it where he can reach it while softly talking to him then step away. Let him start to associate you with good things instead of cornering him. Make time to sit in the living

room while he is under the couch and do quiet activities like reading (out loud is great) watching tv on a low volume, or just talking to him--- don't get near him or try to touch him. You can offer treats, BUT only if he comes to you, otherwise leave them on the edge of couch where he can grab them himself. Make sure to get the Feliway diffusers, it could make a world of difference. 

He will start to trust you (it may take another couple months) but when he does it'll be worth it. You'll see, eventually he'll start poking his head out when he hears you coming, you'll be able to get him to voluntarily come to the edge of the couch for a treat....but never try to catch or corner him once you start gaining his trust. The beginning is always the hardest, once he has a little trust, it will build faster from there. 

If you have an opportunity to read anything by Jackson Galaxy (he also has great  U tube video collection)  or Cats for Dummies, both are a great sources of information on ways to read a cats behavior and train it accordingly. 

I'm sitting on my bed by the way, next to my 'unadoptable' black cat Eve. She was the same way when I took her home, now she's the best cat anyone could wish for <3

Remember: Think like a cat

Keep me updated too! 

 

[Columbine]

I have a different take on how to manage this. By feeding him in his hiding places you're enabling him to live in fear. This is miserable for all of you. The first thing you need to do is encourage him out by making 'under' no longer an option. Block off any possible inaccessible hiding places (under beds/sofas, behind things etc). The only way to increase his confidence is to force him to explore out and up. Make sure you have plenty of vertical space available for him - cats will naturally gravitate to high places for safe observation spots, and its giving him an appropriate place to gain confidence in you and his territory. Provide him with some dens he can feel safe in, but make them accessible to you to - igloo style beds, cat condos, and upturned box with a doorway cut into it, even a carrier with the door removed.

The Feliway is a great idea. I would also suggest Spirit Essences and/or Composure as additional stress busting options.

So long as there's no hostility between the cats, you may be able to use the new addition to your advantage. If he can see this other cat trusting you he may begin to see that you're safe to be around. This can be particularly true when it comes to interactive play. If he sees the new guy really getting into a game with you he may reach the point where he can't help but join in. Interactive play is an amazing tool for building both self confidence and confidence in the territory. Don't give up on play - keep gently trying.

Making yourself the bringer of good things can also help enormously. Stay with him when he's eating to cement that connection, and gradually place the bowl closer and closer to you until he's happy to eat right next to you. You could also try feeding him by hand, or from a spoon if he doesn't quite trust you enough yet. Plain meat baby food often proves an irresistible lure, so its a great way to offer a little extra treat.

Don't get hung up or focused on petting though. He'll tell you when he's ready for that.
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[moonlitekittens]

Wow! I had a kitten like that too, took patience and wet food to help him trust... I will tell you what worked for me:

Could you set up a cat room for the two cats? If you have the space, I would confine them initially in one room {cat room} full with litterboxes, beds, cat tree, boxes, etc... dont give up on trying chasing toy games.

Come into the cat room and feed them nice wet food together, stay in there while they eat... come back in a few hours with more good quality treats..... try the toys.... go away....  come back in a few hours with a nice treat, talk to them.... give them space.... try games......... and again and again and again for a few weeks.... when they are friends with you and each other they are ready to roam the house...

I hope it all goes fine.

 

[Kat0121]

I have a different take on how to manage this. By feeding him in his hiding places you're enabling him to live in fear. This is miserable for all of you. The first thing you need to do is encourage him out by making 'under' no longer an option. Block off any possible inaccessible hiding places (under beds/sofas, behind things etc). The only way to increase his confidence is to force him to explore out and up. Make sure you have plenty of vertical space available for him - cats will naturally gravitate to high places for safe observation spots, and its giving him an appropriate place to gain confidence in you and his territory. Provide him with some dens he can feel safe in, but make them accessible to you to - igloo style beds, cat condos, and upturned box with a doorway cut into it, even a carrier with the door removed.

The Feliway is a great idea. I would also suggest Spirit Essences and/or Composure as additional stress busting options.

So long as there's no hostility between the cats, you may be able to use the new addition to your advantage. If he can see this other cat trusting you he may begin to see that you're safe to be around. This can be particularly true when it comes to interactive play. If he sees the new guy really getting into a game with you he may reach the point where he can't help but join in. Interactive play is an amazing tool for building both self confidence and confidence in the territory. Don't give up on play - keep gently trying.

Making yourself the bringer of good things can also help enormously. Stay with him when he's eating to cement that connection, and gradually place the bowl closer and closer to you until he's happy to eat right next to you. You could also try feeding him by hand, or from a spoon if he doesn't quite trust you enough yet. Plain meat baby food often proves an irresistible lure, so its a great way to offer a little extra treat.

Don't get hung up or focused on petting though. He'll tell you when he's ready for that.[thread="297074"]Snick And Jaspers New Cat Wall Furniture  [/thread] [article="32735"]10 Must Know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat  [/article][article="32804"]How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home  [/article][article="30274"]Potential Stressors In Cats The Ultimate Checklist  [/article][article="30316"]Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats  [/article][article="0"]Cat Play The Rules Of The Game  [/article][article="0"]Playing With Your Cat Ten Things Every Cat Owner Needs To Know  [/article]

I agree with this 100%. I have an 8 year old cat that was in the shelter from 4 months of age until 8 years of age and he was not socialized while he was there. He came to live with us in January. He stayed in his safe room and just started coming out of it a couple of weeks ago. When he first came to live with us, he wanted nothing but to hide behind a big rolltop desk in the room. I knew he needed to come out from there to become adjusted so I took some cardboard boxes, broke them down and completely blocked off the back of the desk with them. Then I took a large box (which eventually was swapped out for a large plastic storage tote) placed on it's side and I put a big, soft blanket in it. This gave him a safe place in his safe room but I was still able to keep an eye on him while he was in it. He was happy with it and so was I. 

Dr. Elsey's Cat Attract can help him get back to using the litter box. Play time with interactive toys is great at helping a cat relax and get adjusted. it didn't work for me because I don't think that Henry ever saw one before so they don't do anything for him unfortunately. What helped with him is when I read to him. I bought some baby books at the thrift store and I sat on the floor near his tote and just read them to him like you would a toddler. This gets him used to your voice and scent in a non threatening way. Just talking to him will help, too. When we met Henry in the shelter, he curled up on my daughter's feet and started nibbling on her toes. He was 100% different when I got him home but that's normal. They need to get used to all the  different smells, sounds, etc. He will. Try to stop worrying. As you can see, Henry took almost 8 months to come out of his room. It had to happen that way because now he's out and he's happy, well adjusted and SO affectionate. I had to let him do things at his pace. I am so glad I did. I was like you for a long time. I was second guessing myself about everything- is he not coming out because he doesn't like me? Am I doing something wrong? He does and I wasn't. As soon as I forced myself to relax and let him progress the way he needed to, he started to progress a little faster. I think I was giving off a more stressful vibe before and when that was gone, he picked up on it and relaxed as well. 

I have 2 other cats,  2 year old female siblings (Lilith and Sophie- the diva sisters) and a 13 year old border collie (Bailey). They all get along very well. I took the introductions slowly and now they are with each other all the time and there has never been any aggression shown by any of them. 

I agree also that letting him see you play with the second cat will help him because he'll see that you are "trustworthy" and might cause him to become more curious about you. There is a loving, sweet cat in there and he will come out when he's ready. Just be patient. You have to let him be in charge of the relationship. Cats are smart, intuitive animals. He'll learn to trust you and he'll come to you when he's ready. it might be when you least expect it. Cats are full of surprises. 

Please don't bring him back to the shelter. You can do this. Cats like ours are special. Once you earn their love and trust, the bond you share with them is very special because you really had to work for it. Keep us posted on how things go and we will continue to give you all the encouragement you need. Hang in there. It's worth it. I promise and Henry agrees. 

Oh yeah, welcome to TCS too!