Moral Conundrum

[Eremite]

Please forgive me if this is not the right place to post this thread. I'm new and this seemed like the most suitable place.

I'm interested in the opinions of cat owners:

About a year ago, a couple with their toddler and their tabby moved in the house across the road from mine. We live in a rural area.

The tabby is an outdoor cat and roams around freely. When reading in my garden I can hear the toddler screaming and crying. The poor baby girl; her parents fight a lot. All this noise and bad energy (from the verbal fights) make the cat anxious. It is not unusual for the cat to hang out in my garden where I have plenty of plants, water features, and bird feeders: it's like TV for the cat. The cat ignores its humans when they call him/her.

Where I live, the weather is mild year-round and the tabby has made its way into my house. I've seen it sleeping on my chair/bed/carpet. The feline does not bother me at all, on the contrary, I enjoy observing the little critter.

The tabby now spends most days at my garden/house. I've contacted its humans to tell them many times. One night they were calling it and it hid in my closet. I felt obliged to take the tabby to them. When I handed it over, I noticed the father had had his drink on, and with slurred speech said I could keep it if I fed him "the cat hates him anyway" said he. I told him that I'd pleased to help in any way I could, even cat sitting for holidays.

What would you do?
I don't want them to think I'm stealing the tabby; he comes in and out of my property freely. And while I'm fond of it and would love to enjoy him rightfully, I go on holidays for three weeks a year. I also don't want to get on the wrong side of an unpleasant man that likes his drink. Contrary to what I have read online, I'm not opposed to assume full responsibility of the feline including vet bills. I just feel for the poor thing living in that chaotic place, plus he is very interesting to interact.

I feel guilt but I also felt the cat is here on his will.

 

[Mia6]

Take him and welcome!! That's how I got Big Cal, the kitty in my profile pic. She moved in on her own. Her parents fought all the and she hates noise. They told me they wanted what was best for her and that was six years ago.

Mia

 

[verna davies]

Hi welcome to the site, so glad you joined. There's lots to read and learn here as well as games and competions to join in.

That poor cat obviously prefers the peace and quiet of your home and who can blame him. Is the wife more approachable than the husband, if so you could have a chat with her and tell her you have become attached to her cat and as he seems to spend so much time in your garden, would she let you keep him. If she agrees, get her to sign something that makes it binding. I hesitate to suggest offering a small amount of money but that might sway her. Its a difficult situation but please keep us updated.

 

[Eremite]

Thank you so much Mia and Verna.
You've lifted a load off my shoulders

 

[verna davies]

Please let us know how you get on.

 

[Eremite]

Take him and welcome!! That's how I got Big Cal, the kitty in my profile pic. She moved in on her own. Her parents fought all the and she hates noise. They told me they wanted what was best for her and that was six years ago.

Mia

Dear Mia, Big Cal's humans sound reasonable! How lovely. I'm so glad she's yours now. I've read something that goes like "you don't choose the cat, the cat chooses you". I was telling that to myself to mitigate the guilt but your words make it art more real. Thank you for the warm welcome

 

[Eremite]

Hi welcome to the site, so glad you joined. There's lots to read and learn here as well as games and competions to join in.

That poor cat obviously prefers the peace and quiet of your home and who can blame him. Is the wife more approachable than the husband, if so you could have a chat with her and tell her you have become attached to her cat and as he seems to spend so much time in your garden, would she let you keep him. If she agrees, get her to sign something that makes it binding. I hesitate to suggest offering a small amount of money but that might sway her. Its a difficult situation but please keep us updated.

Hi welcome to the site, so glad you joined. There's lots to read and learn here as well as games and competions to join in.

That poor cat obviously prefers the peace and quiet of your home and who can blame him. Is the wife more approachable than the husband, if so you could have a chat with her and tell her you have become attached to her cat and as he seems to spend so much time in your garden, would she let you keep him. If she agrees, get her to sign something that makes it binding. I hesitate to suggest offering a small amount of money but that might sway her. Its a difficult situation but please keep us updated.

Thank you so much Verna. All of them great ideas. I thought of approaching the wife for sure. I just don't know what to say without sounding like I want something that's theirs... just because I fancy it... it feels capricious!!! I see, I want
Thank you for the welcome

 

[verna davies]

Its not like that. You want the cat because you know he is not happy where he is. If he was he wouldn't come over to you so much. It seems he feels safe with you and you want whats best for him. Spend a little time thinking of the best way to put it, maybe getting to know her a little, just the odd chat bringing the cat into the conversation and test the waters. Good luck.

 

[Eremite]

Thank you Verna, your words are refreshing

 

[Willowy]

If you don't want to rock the boat, just let the kitty come and go as he likes. Many neighborhoods have "shared" cats. If you want to talk to them about ownership, you could do that too.

 

[Eremite]

Thank you Willowy! I'm between those two options. I just don't want to come across as a moocher who wants the best part of owning a cat but no responsibility (e.g. vet bills).

Why did I have to fall under the feline spell???

 

[maggiedemi]

I agree, I would try to find out how the wife feels about the cat. I hope you get to keep him!

 

[di and bob]

Just let them know how you feel and go from there. If they ever move they most likely would just leave the cat behind. Most people don't really care about their pets if they are leaving them outside and the cat spends most of it's time at your house. Tell them you would be happy to adopt him/her if they ever need a home for it.
I have a cat right now that started out as the neighbors. After two litters of kittens and most getting killed on our horrible road, I had to tell the neighbor that I had had her spayed. He said they were just barn cats, he didn't care about any of them. She is strictly inside now and very happy.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I would go with keeping the cat as your own, have him microchipped if not yet, checked by the vet, neutered (or spayed) etc. That cat clearly chose you, as he does not feel at any way secure with all the noises and fighting going on in his own home. And as what Di and bob said, I also don't think that cat would even be brought along if those neighbors ever move out.

When he is officially yours you can build him a catio so he would be most safer in the confines of your own backyard/frontyard.

Goodluck.

 

[Winchester]

You know, the guy already told you to take the cat. Good enough for me. Bring the cat into your house. (And to be honest, I have to say to take the toddler, too. I really sorry for that little girl.)

 

[Eremite]

Thank you. It does make sense.
I know about the little girl; stressful enough for even that cat not wanting to be there. It looks like some people didn't think through their parenting and their pet ownership :,(

 

[Eremite]

I agree, I would try to find out how the wife feels about the cat. I hope you get to keep him!

Thank you Maggie. I feel good about this approach!

 

[Eremite]

I would go with keeping the cat as your own, have him microchipped if not yet, checked by the vet, neutered (or spayed) etc. That cat clearly chose you, as he does not feel at any way secure with all the noises and fighting going on in his own home. And as what Di and bob said, I also don't think that cat would even be brought along if those neighbors ever move out.

When he is officially yours you can build him a catio so he would be most safer in the confines of your own backyard/frontyard.

Goodluck.

A catio! I love this!!!! Thank you!

 

[Eremite]

Just let them know how you feel and go from there. If they ever move they most likely would just leave the cat behind. Most people don't really care about their pets if they are leaving them outside and the cat spends most of it's time at your house. Tell them you would be happy to adopt him/her if they ever need a home for it.
I have a cat right now that started out as the neighbors. After two litters of kittens and most getting killed on our horrible road, I had to tell the neighbor that I had had her spayed. He said they were just barn cats, he didn't care about any of them. She is strictly inside now and very happy.

It's appalling how people think that because they are barn vests they deserve less. You're a super hero!

 

[Talien]

If the guy already told you that you could keep the Cat then talk to him while he's not drunk. Just mention that you've thought about what he said and you'd be happy to take the Cat since he spends a lot of time with you anyway.

You may find that once you have a Cat as a permanent resident that you'll want to take less vacations and that will save you money in the long run, even with vet bills. So win/win/win I'd say.