Merry Christmas?

[Antonio65]

It's Christmas and we all should be happy. Maybe we should, but many of us won't or can't.

I could be happy, but I can't help myself from thinking of all our little pure souls that left us in these past years.
I won't name any of them because I could leave one behind and it would unfair. So I prefer to think of all of them.
And I won't be happy because I will think of those poor people who will have to spend their Christmas at a veterinarian clinic because one of their pets is unwell or needed an emergency visit. I know what that means, I was there before, I know what it feels like to have to spend a holiday in a clinic, when everybody else is at home celebrating that day and someone else is hoping that their furry friend will make it. I was there before.
And I won't be happy because inevitably a pet will go to the Rainbow Bridge on Christmas day, leaving their guardians in deep and unrepairable desperation. Those guardians won't ever have a merry Christmas again, every year this day will renew their pain.

It's Christmas, but I am not able to feel happy at all.
Merry Christmas to everybody!

 

[babiesmom5]

As the familiar song goes, "It's the most wonderful time of the year"...when it isn't.
Here it is Christmas Eve. Most people are happy, singing Christmas carols, joyously awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus, the opening of gifts on Christmas morning...except those of us who have lost beloved kitties this time of year and/or are caring for seriously ill kitties.

Last Christmas Eve I lost my soul kitty, Snookie, after a heroic battle with Small Cell Lymphoma. She had come home from the hospital a few days prior. She had stopped eating, so an esophageal tube was placed. My husband and I nursed her literally round the clock. That night of Dec. 23, Snookie slept on my pillow, but she was restless like she couldn't get comfortable. All throughout the next day, Christmas Eve, we continuously nursed her, but by afternoon we could tell she was in pain. We gave her pain medication, but it had little effect. In despair, I put in an emergency call to our Vet. Of course, the office was closed, but she told us to meet her there. We sped off through the night haunted by Snookie's hoarse dying cries. When we arrived at the Vet's office, Snookie's gums were grey. Her passage thankfully went fast.
We drove back home sobbing and faced a sleepless night. The Christmas meal was frozen pizza.
Obviously, it was NOT a Merry Christmas.

So, understandably, we did not face this holiday season with eager anticipation. Nonetheless I had to develop a strategy to get through this very difficult unwelcome "first anniversary".
Snookie, being a very gregarious, loving personality, would want me to help others. So today, I called people in need of caring and friendship; people living alone, people who have sick cats, people with health problems of their own. We delivered homemade gifts to neighbors; I prepared a good meal for us, and I posted on TCS in an effort to help others.

In times like these, I am reminded of the words of Winston Churchill who said, "When you are going through hell...keep going"!

What has kept me going through many difficult days over the past year as well as dealing with seriously ill kitties is this wonderful site...a year round Christmas gift! That is something we can all be grateful and appreciative for.

 

[di and bob]

I, too, lost my soulmate right before Christmas. Although I had no way of knowing at the time, through my own stupid actions I was the cause of her death. I will carry the guilt with me until the end of time. It has been 5 years now, the sharp edges have dulled somewhat, then I lost my sweet boy Burt a few months ago to hone the edge of grief once more. But when you really think about it, the longer you live the more pain you will bring to your heart. There will always be someone, somewhere dear to you that will leave this earth. We can never prepare our hearts for the pain, no matter how much we try. The sudden death by accident or illness is just as devastating as the long drawn out downhill spiral of old age or cancer. The more death and pain we experience, the more the experience seems to make us examine our own mortality, and shapes the way we react to it. When we experience the death of someone we love that is dear to our heart it brings about the death of a piece of that heart, to a special piece of our very soul, and we mourn the loss. We can empathise with other's pain, but only the one experiencing it will truly feel the depth of despair it brings. This depth is proportional to the love we hold. Why can't we let this pain go!!? Because it is a part of our very being.
I have found that not dwelling on this pain diminishes the power it has over us. Instead focus on the good feelings we had, the good times we shared with our loved ones. It takes a lot of time and a good deal of work on our part to do this. Don't see the happy memories as a path to further deepen our pain on what we lost. Instead focus on happy memories that highlight on what we gained in our lives. If we died tomorrow, would you want the ones left behind to be sad for the rest of their lives, to never experience happiness again or be able to see the beauty in the world around them? Of course not, and that is exactly what our departed ones want for us, to go on living because WE are still alive. We will never forget them, we will never stop loving them and they want us to know they feel the same.
So cry once in a while when the loss overwhelms you, but don't let it consume you, to dictate how a life should be lived. Think of good times and what they meant to you, and know you had something so precious, so consuming, it can never be duplicated. But then realize it will never leave you either, it is a part of you, it is a joy to be coveted and allowed to mold you with it's blessing of eternal love. In this time of birth and joyous celebration, celebrate your own rebirth, and try to live up to the wondrous, eternally loved person that your loved one held so dear. They are closer than ever at this time of the year, because we think of them so often. Send them prayers of comfort and love, not sadness and grief and tehy will do the same.
Merry Christmas everyone! Let the New Year literally bring peace and happiness to your soul, and new loves to lighten your heart. May God brings us all a happiness and joy!

 

[les26]

This is such an emotional time of year when we remember people and pets that have passed away, and I just had a woman pass away on the 12th that I worked with years ago but hadn't seen in 14 years, but had a wonderful visit with her before she passed, but it is still so so tough, the emotions are right at the surface so when we feel sad it is very sad and sometimes feel guilty when we feel happy but we MUST keep going and try to enjoy life or it will drag us down and keep us down, and the ones in Heaven are in great shape now and don't want us sad, they know that we have to carry on here on Earth and when we see them again we will be happy and reunited once again.

Just talk to them in prayer, tell them mentally how you feel, open your heart to them and you will find some comfort, they are still around you just in spirit form but if you reach out they somehow reach back.

Now go hug one of your kitties and say "this is a hug for ALL who have passed away", and it will be like you are hugging them all again......


God Bless, be happy.......

 

[Kitty Mommy]

I wish there were some magic words that could be said to take away the pain. I'm sending big hugs and prayers to everyone

 

[Shar371]

Christmas has never been a "merry" time for me, for mostly human reasons. Yesterday, though, I spent a lot of time remembering my first Christmas with Midnight. There's another website I go to that does a candle light ceremony in memory of our lost furkids, and they had a Christmas story at the Rainbow Bridge that broke me.

In lieu of dealing with the other problems of Christmas, I started writing about Midnight's and my first Christmas together (I was deathly ill, had just moved, and went to get her from the old apartment while so sick I could hardly stand upright, much less drive). I wrote about how she became my nursemaid, nipping me awake to drink water, then snuggling back down with me.

Christmas may be pretty rotten without our soul kitties with us, physically, but at the very least we have them in our hearts.

 

[Kitty Mommy]

Yes we do have our memories of our cherished cats so they aren't truly gone from our lives. They are just with us in a different way. I think about the kitties I've lost over the years and even though I miss them all terribly I'm thankful I had what time i did have with them. They were all different and special in their own ways.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Never gone, never forgotten. So many over the years, you know. But now I find that those memories are far more sweet than bitter, and those loving purrs vibrate through my soul, if not through my body. So I WILL it to be a Merry Christmas, and I shall welcome those sweet, loving souls around my tree.