Help! Sasha has been terrorizing her 6 week kittens! now, they're scared of everything! when we go to pet them, they shy away, and when we pick them up, they wiggle and squirm to get down NOW! we've tried separating Sasha from them, but she sits at their door and yowls to get back in, and drives us all crazy! she also has taken to attacking us- lunging at our legs, biting and clawing our arms...it hurts! I hate that I have this cat that I love so much, and she's putting us all through so much physical and emotional pain. I don't know what happened to her before she was brought ot us, but I don't think she exactly had a loving, caring home! What can I do?
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Mean Mommy!
- Thread starter michelle
- Start Date
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #3
we adopted Sasha on my 15th birthday, in late March, with no idea that she was pregnant. we took her to the vet, and he found an abcess by her tail (but missed the fact that she had kittens growing inside of her). he operated on it, and she seemed fine. About a month later, she gave birth to a premature kitten, which died shortly. Two days later, she had another which was dead when we found it. In another week, she gave birth to two healthy, living kittens. They are now 6 weeks old. When they were just a few weeks old, she began being a little rough with them, pinning them down and biting their necks (not very hard). we were told that this is normal behavior; she does it to teach them survival skills. but now she will all-out pounce on one, pin it under one paw, and bite it's throat, neck, or whatever she can get ahold of. Too many times, we've had to come running into the living room at the sound of little squeals to pull her off her babies. now they have become very shy. they will cuddle with us when they're asleep, but when they're awake and alert, they shy away. Sasha began biting about a week or two before she delivered, and she has just gotten worse. she also likes to keep us up all night with her yowling, which she didn't do before the kittens.
ps~ she was spayed when they were about 4 weeks old, because of a uterine infection
ps~ she was spayed when they were about 4 weeks old, because of a uterine infection
Hmm. U have a good reason to be concerned. I would be very concerned myself. Have u checked again with the vet about the continuing biting/attacking behavior of Sasha?
Here's some ideas for u to explore..
?? Sasha is jealous of the attention given to the kittens? Usually people would give more attention to the kittens than the older cats. Have u made sure to give Sasha more attention than the kittens? Try that. That is what I am currently doing with my cats. I have a 8 year old cat I adopted over a week ago and I also recently adopted a 8 month old cat and Sunni (older) is not taking to Zebra (younger) at all so after consulting with some wise people through this forum, I gave more attention to Sunni while Zebra explored her new home and it seemst o be working. Sunni has been hissing and growling less. I think Sunni needed to know that Zebra wouldn't take my attention away from her. Maybe u need to do that with Sasha??
Also, maybe what u need to do is treat them as "cats unknown to each other" meaning u put them in separate rooms and gradually introduce them to each other..I know u said Sasha'd yowl but ignoring her for a couple days and she'll stop yowling.. Get a damp towel, rub the kittens first then rub the towel on Sasha's to get her used to the smell..
another idea is every time Sasha do this, u squirt Sasha with water as punishment. (I use a water spray or a water gun) Most cats HATE water and I prefer this over hitting. (I do not believe in hitting animals). Hopefully, Sasha will stop doing this after being squirted a few times.
Another idea-
are u planning on keeping the kittens? It might be a good idea to find them other homes because Sasha might be jealous of the attention given.
Keep me posted on this! If u need to get in touch with me during the day, im me at Pamelagally or at night using utahgal8 (I am not online much at nites but during the day, I am almost always on. )
Good luck and enjoy having cats!
They are the BEST pets EVER (MOST of the time!)
Here's some ideas for u to explore..
?? Sasha is jealous of the attention given to the kittens? Usually people would give more attention to the kittens than the older cats. Have u made sure to give Sasha more attention than the kittens? Try that. That is what I am currently doing with my cats. I have a 8 year old cat I adopted over a week ago and I also recently adopted a 8 month old cat and Sunni (older) is not taking to Zebra (younger) at all so after consulting with some wise people through this forum, I gave more attention to Sunni while Zebra explored her new home and it seemst o be working. Sunni has been hissing and growling less. I think Sunni needed to know that Zebra wouldn't take my attention away from her. Maybe u need to do that with Sasha??
Also, maybe what u need to do is treat them as "cats unknown to each other" meaning u put them in separate rooms and gradually introduce them to each other..I know u said Sasha'd yowl but ignoring her for a couple days and she'll stop yowling.. Get a damp towel, rub the kittens first then rub the towel on Sasha's to get her used to the smell..
another idea is every time Sasha do this, u squirt Sasha with water as punishment. (I use a water spray or a water gun) Most cats HATE water and I prefer this over hitting. (I do not believe in hitting animals). Hopefully, Sasha will stop doing this after being squirted a few times.
Another idea-
are u planning on keeping the kittens? It might be a good idea to find them other homes because Sasha might be jealous of the attention given.
Keep me posted on this! If u need to get in touch with me during the day, im me at Pamelagally or at night using utahgal8 (I am not online much at nites but during the day, I am almost always on. )
Good luck and enjoy having cats!
They are the BEST pets EVER (MOST of the time!)
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #5
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #6
well, we've tried reintroducing them, and it isn't working very well. Sasha keeps us up all night if she can't get into that room, and someone will ususally cave in around 4am just to get her shut up. Sasha still bites and scratches, but I'm starting to learn to hold her so she won't. although, I always make sure I'm wearing my "armor" (a heavy sweatshirt and jeans) when I do this so she can't get to my skin. but she still tries much too often. I'm getting worried about the kittens. they only come downstairs when someone brings them down, and they usually shoot right back up as soon as you put them down. they are still very shy; to pet one, you have to grab it, and force her to let you pet her. they do not like being held it seems. now what?
Hmmmm....That doesn't sound good. The water gun didn't help?
How old are the kittens? About 8 weeks old now? U might want to consider finding them homes because most kittens are friendly and wouldn't hide. HOWEVER some kittens/cats DO NOT like to be held. One of my cats FREAKS out when I try to hold her and I think it's because she had 2 bad experiences with being held. I had to learn to just pet her and not hold her.
I know this is hard for u.. Let me ask my friends who are "pros" with cats and see what they say. Give me the weekend to get some info then I'll get back to u on this..
Hang in there..
Pamela
How old are the kittens? About 8 weeks old now? U might want to consider finding them homes because most kittens are friendly and wouldn't hide. HOWEVER some kittens/cats DO NOT like to be held. One of my cats FREAKS out when I try to hold her and I think it's because she had 2 bad experiences with being held. I had to learn to just pet her and not hold her.
I know this is hard for u.. Let me ask my friends who are "pros" with cats and see what they say. Give me the weekend to get some info then I'll get back to u on this..
Hang in there..
Pamela
The first step, if not done yet is Sasha needs to be spayed. The kittens are old enough to be weaned. The next thing is more handeling of the kittens. They need to be in just one room until they are used to being handled. Once mom has been spayed her hormone levels will drop and she shouldn't be so bad.
__________________
Sandie
www.sandkats.com
Munchkin Cats
This is one response I have gotten from our "pros". Have u had Sasha spayed??
Pamela
__________________
Sandie
www.sandkats.com
Munchkin Cats
This is one response I have gotten from our "pros". Have u had Sasha spayed??
Pamela
Pamela
Good that your two have settled down. Re Michelle's cat, isn't she the one who had a hysterectomy when the kittens were 4 weeks old because of a uterine infection? If so, she would have been very sore immediately after the op and the kittens were probably still trying to suckle, plus one can only imagine the awful upheaval her hormones have undergone as a result. I'd say the explanation lies there - massive confusion caused by the discomfort of trying to keep nursing the kittens initially, then falling hormones levels sending mixed messages about exactly what she's supposed to be doing with these kittens.
__________________
Mary
http://www.angelfire.com/sc2/petswelfare
“Even the most domesticated of companion animals have the right to exist for themselves, independent at times of human requirements and expectations of themâ€.
This is another response... Hope this helps! Pls keep us posted...
Pamela
Good that your two have settled down. Re Michelle's cat, isn't she the one who had a hysterectomy when the kittens were 4 weeks old because of a uterine infection? If so, she would have been very sore immediately after the op and the kittens were probably still trying to suckle, plus one can only imagine the awful upheaval her hormones have undergone as a result. I'd say the explanation lies there - massive confusion caused by the discomfort of trying to keep nursing the kittens initially, then falling hormones levels sending mixed messages about exactly what she's supposed to be doing with these kittens.
__________________
Mary
http://www.angelfire.com/sc2/petswelfare
“Even the most domesticated of companion animals have the right to exist for themselves, independent at times of human requirements and expectations of themâ€.
This is another response... Hope this helps! Pls keep us posted...
Pamela
Regarding the frightened attitude you described in the kittens...
Kittens of that age are naturally curious but they are also very small as compared to the interior of your home. They can feel intimidated by the sheer size as it appears to them. They are upset easily by changes to their environment and do not socialize well if frightened and intimidated. They are creatures of habit and need to know they are safe in order to show confidence and an outgoing personality. Instead of catching them and bringing them downstairs to be free-range kittens, get a playpen or other suitable large enclosure and introduce them to their new digs slowly, a bit at a time - 10 minutes on day one, 15 on day two - and so forth. But first, you must bring up their trust level in humans...
Put yourself in the room upstairs where the kittens normally stay. Do not plan on doing anything other than just sitting there. Use a soothing, high-pitched but soft voice and words that end in a long eeee sound. (I call it the Cat Voice) Stay for as long as you can, but no less than 30 to 45 minutes each time you go in and increase the time daily. Don't try to catch a kitten, or hold one. Just sit there.
It won't be long before one or two of them decides you are interesting and will approach you for a sniff or two. Do not move when this happens. Stay completely still and let the kittens come to you. Eventually, they will begin to trust you and will allow you to touch them a little at a time. Once you can consistantly get all the kittens to respond favorably to the touch of your hand, then you can begin working on moving them downstairs. You might need to repeat this process some once you take them down to assure the kittens it will be OK and that you will let no harm come to them. Once they can climb out of the play pen, they are ready to investigate the house small bits at a time.
The socialization process is very important to the future well being of both the kittens and their prospective owners. If done successfully, both the kittens and their owners will be much happier.
Best of luck,
Gaye
Kittens of that age are naturally curious but they are also very small as compared to the interior of your home. They can feel intimidated by the sheer size as it appears to them. They are upset easily by changes to their environment and do not socialize well if frightened and intimidated. They are creatures of habit and need to know they are safe in order to show confidence and an outgoing personality. Instead of catching them and bringing them downstairs to be free-range kittens, get a playpen or other suitable large enclosure and introduce them to their new digs slowly, a bit at a time - 10 minutes on day one, 15 on day two - and so forth. But first, you must bring up their trust level in humans...
Put yourself in the room upstairs where the kittens normally stay. Do not plan on doing anything other than just sitting there. Use a soothing, high-pitched but soft voice and words that end in a long eeee sound. (I call it the Cat Voice) Stay for as long as you can, but no less than 30 to 45 minutes each time you go in and increase the time daily. Don't try to catch a kitten, or hold one. Just sit there.
It won't be long before one or two of them decides you are interesting and will approach you for a sniff or two. Do not move when this happens. Stay completely still and let the kittens come to you. Eventually, they will begin to trust you and will allow you to touch them a little at a time. Once you can consistantly get all the kittens to respond favorably to the touch of your hand, then you can begin working on moving them downstairs. You might need to repeat this process some once you take them down to assure the kittens it will be OK and that you will let no harm come to them. Once they can climb out of the play pen, they are ready to investigate the house small bits at a time.
The socialization process is very important to the future well being of both the kittens and their prospective owners. If done successfully, both the kittens and their owners will be much happier.
Best of luck,
Gaye
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #12
Ever since I got home from camp, Sasha seems to have been much nicer. She doesn't attack as much (she still gets a little snippy sometimes, but we're working on that), and the kittens are getting braver. they come and play downstairs (right now Turtle is at my feet chasing her tail) and they seem a little more at ease. they still aren't crazy about being held for long periods of time, and trying to pick them up is something of an adventure, but they aren't as freaked as they used to be. things are improving, but they aren't perfect yet! (but then, they probably won't ever be perfect, huh?) thanks for caring!
NO cat likes to be held for long periods of time unless he or she decides that your lap is a good place to take the hourly nap. Every cat has their own preferences, and every cat (if you take in strays and ferels as I do) has had some traumatic experiences you will never know about. They can also be extremely jealous, and since they are closer to their instincts, changing hormonal balances in the middle of their nursing period can be really bad. Are you sure about the vet you go to? Surely most of the advice here could have been given to you by him/her at the onset and saved you all sorts of grief.
At 4 weeks you could easily take over all the feeding. Poor mother cat, with her belly hurting and her hormones going haywire and perhaps being a new mother to boot...!
You got a lot of good advice on this thread. Cats want to come to you in their own time. I have one cat I can never pet on my own time schedule. He just slips down under my hand and walks off without even acknowledging me. On the other hand, when HE wants to be petted, he jumps into my lap at the worst possible times and falls asleep. At night he is always the cat who sleeps on the bed, however many of the others (16 at the moment) decide to join us (usually the count is highest in cold weather). I have my old matriarch (1st cat) who wouldn't let me touch her for 2 years because I started to adopt foundlings off the street. She would deliberately get close enough to me to almost touch and then snarl and lash out with her claws and growl like a tiger. My legs, hands, and arms were bloody all the time no matter how quick I was at jumping out of the way. I had to learn to avoid her. All the time I spoke to her when I put down her feeding dish or when I saw her come into the house. I protected her special place on the dresser so she wouldn't tear into the various kittens, and also because it was clear that she was hurting psychologically from what she saw as my defection, and needed something she could be sure was HERS. Slowly she has come around, but she will never permit being petting further than a few soft touches on her head, she is touch-me-not to all the other cats and dogs (4), and she really means to maim the first of the household who wants to get friendly.
You mother cat seems to have carried some trauma with her from the past. She may also associate (at least in the short term) having kittens with the two traumatic miscarriages. Her hormones were power-forced back into normal cat from being loving mom, and she was in pain as well. Think of her as a human person coping with such a litany of miseries, physical and mental, and treat her like the walking wounded with lots of special loving. It has taken me now almost three years to be able to touch my old lady, but she is hurting emotional less these days and sometimes allows one of the younger cats to sit quietly on the dresser with her, as long as they sit at the opposite side and don't pay any attention to her. If they more than glance in her direction, she starts for them.
I try to respond to all the cats when they want to sit on me or cuddle, but I have learned to respect their aloofness when they don't feel like interacting. Hell, that's how people are, after all. We need our space. Friends are ready to help, but try not to intervene or intrude unless there is an emergency situation. Cats expect the same from their friends.
Sounds like things are finally settling down for you. But give the kittens away. Mom needs a rest from them to get her head together.
Peace, Catherine
PS. Year one of adopting strays and ferels, I was dripping blood all the time. By year two I had fewer scratches and most of them were accidental -- that is, I didn't do anything stupid to provoke the cat, but they just forgot they were sitting on my arm instead of the cloth of my blue jeans. Now going into my fourth year, I almost never get scratched, even with a new cat. I have observed and learned from past mistakes, and I never assume that all cats are going to like or dislike the same things. I know that one never wants his tummy touched, another will dig in and take flight if there is a suddenly loud noise, another doesn't want to be picked up (but will jump up on my lap of her own accord), some don't like to be waked up even with a gentle touch, while others love to be given a gentle petting when they are sleeping and will sigh, roll over and expose their bellies for petting (this is real trust and special intimacy). The dogs also have learned to avoid being scratched by observing the differencs and body language between cats. In a multi-species household, learning foreign body language and practicing care and tolerance are essential, and not talents confined to the so-called "higher" anmals like us. We (me, cats, dogs) have learned to live in a 3-room house and a fenced-in half-acre with very few culture-collisions. So I rarely bleed these days, the dogs rarely bleed, and the cats have slowly learned not to fight each other for alpha position (I have made it plain that that is my place in the chain). Your mother cat will probably scratch less if the kittens are gone (they should be given away by 8 weeks if you can so they will bond well with their new families), but she may never accept other cats in the household. Good luck. Even on sale, bandaides in quantity cost money! -- By the way, I never bother with fancy medicines. Whatever people say, good strong soap and water applied immediately are the best protection against disease unless the cat sinks a long fang into you and hits deep into the flesh. Even then, I never bother with anti-bacterial things, and so far I have never had a scratch or fang wound fester.
At 4 weeks you could easily take over all the feeding. Poor mother cat, with her belly hurting and her hormones going haywire and perhaps being a new mother to boot...!
You got a lot of good advice on this thread. Cats want to come to you in their own time. I have one cat I can never pet on my own time schedule. He just slips down under my hand and walks off without even acknowledging me. On the other hand, when HE wants to be petted, he jumps into my lap at the worst possible times and falls asleep. At night he is always the cat who sleeps on the bed, however many of the others (16 at the moment) decide to join us (usually the count is highest in cold weather). I have my old matriarch (1st cat) who wouldn't let me touch her for 2 years because I started to adopt foundlings off the street. She would deliberately get close enough to me to almost touch and then snarl and lash out with her claws and growl like a tiger. My legs, hands, and arms were bloody all the time no matter how quick I was at jumping out of the way. I had to learn to avoid her. All the time I spoke to her when I put down her feeding dish or when I saw her come into the house. I protected her special place on the dresser so she wouldn't tear into the various kittens, and also because it was clear that she was hurting psychologically from what she saw as my defection, and needed something she could be sure was HERS. Slowly she has come around, but she will never permit being petting further than a few soft touches on her head, she is touch-me-not to all the other cats and dogs (4), and she really means to maim the first of the household who wants to get friendly.
You mother cat seems to have carried some trauma with her from the past. She may also associate (at least in the short term) having kittens with the two traumatic miscarriages. Her hormones were power-forced back into normal cat from being loving mom, and she was in pain as well. Think of her as a human person coping with such a litany of miseries, physical and mental, and treat her like the walking wounded with lots of special loving. It has taken me now almost three years to be able to touch my old lady, but she is hurting emotional less these days and sometimes allows one of the younger cats to sit quietly on the dresser with her, as long as they sit at the opposite side and don't pay any attention to her. If they more than glance in her direction, she starts for them.
I try to respond to all the cats when they want to sit on me or cuddle, but I have learned to respect their aloofness when they don't feel like interacting. Hell, that's how people are, after all. We need our space. Friends are ready to help, but try not to intervene or intrude unless there is an emergency situation. Cats expect the same from their friends.
Sounds like things are finally settling down for you. But give the kittens away. Mom needs a rest from them to get her head together.
Peace, Catherine
PS. Year one of adopting strays and ferels, I was dripping blood all the time. By year two I had fewer scratches and most of them were accidental -- that is, I didn't do anything stupid to provoke the cat, but they just forgot they were sitting on my arm instead of the cloth of my blue jeans. Now going into my fourth year, I almost never get scratched, even with a new cat. I have observed and learned from past mistakes, and I never assume that all cats are going to like or dislike the same things. I know that one never wants his tummy touched, another will dig in and take flight if there is a suddenly loud noise, another doesn't want to be picked up (but will jump up on my lap of her own accord), some don't like to be waked up even with a gentle touch, while others love to be given a gentle petting when they are sleeping and will sigh, roll over and expose their bellies for petting (this is real trust and special intimacy). The dogs also have learned to avoid being scratched by observing the differencs and body language between cats. In a multi-species household, learning foreign body language and practicing care and tolerance are essential, and not talents confined to the so-called "higher" anmals like us. We (me, cats, dogs) have learned to live in a 3-room house and a fenced-in half-acre with very few culture-collisions. So I rarely bleed these days, the dogs rarely bleed, and the cats have slowly learned not to fight each other for alpha position (I have made it plain that that is my place in the chain). Your mother cat will probably scratch less if the kittens are gone (they should be given away by 8 weeks if you can so they will bond well with their new families), but she may never accept other cats in the household. Good luck. Even on sale, bandaides in quantity cost money! -- By the way, I never bother with fancy medicines. Whatever people say, good strong soap and water applied immediately are the best protection against disease unless the cat sinks a long fang into you and hits deep into the flesh. Even then, I never bother with anti-bacterial things, and so far I have never had a scratch or fang wound fester.
hmm, well i didnt read all of the other replies, so sorry if i missed something, but i doubt the kittens are getting hurt... when cats mean business they mean business, and your sasha could probably kill her 2 kittens in a second, and if thats what she wanted to do, she would do it
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #15
for Sasha and the kittens, a long period of time consists of about 15 seconds. and I really don't like to be sitting down and suddenly hear terrified squealing coming from one of the babies. I don't think she's trying to hurt them badly, but I don't think they like it.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #16
My mom HATES my kitty! I came home from dance class last night to find her in tears because Sasha has been driving her crazy. She yowls when she's awake, on and off, and she bites and scratches still. she got my mom a few times yesterday, and the kittens aren't helping. they've been climbing up the curtains, up the couch, on the table, and driving my mom insane! Also, Sasha got my best friend, Emily, the other day. she was spending the night, and we went upstairs to the kitty room to put them all to bed (we keep them all in there at night), and for no reason, Sasha just jumped on Emily and attcked her legs. Emily helped me pick out Sasha at the shelter, so she's always liked her, but her fondness for her has somewhat lessened. I do NOT know what to do with these kitties! Last night my dad brought Sasha into my room with a litterbox around 11 because she was yowling again. she slept on my bed all night, and every now and then she would start to meow, but I'd tell her to hush and she'd go back to sleep. but that's been the only time she's been good unless she's been sleeping in a very long time. she still likes to pin her kittens down (they're about 10 or 11 weeks now) and bite their throats. this morning I woke up to Turtle squealing in the living room and had to pull Sasha off of her and she decided to go for me instead. we can't take much more of this. Mom wants to get rid of Sasha...and she is completly serious. that scares me, because as much as Sasha is a pain, I still love her. help!!!!!!!!!!
OH BOY! That's not good news at all when ur mom wants to get rid of Sasha. Have u taken her to the vet to see about her temper??
Also, have u tried the suggestions others have given such as using double stick tape on curtains, couches,etc to disencourage cats from climbing or using claws on these? Double Stick tape and/or "sticky paws" really works especially with kittens!
I hate to say this but maybe Sasha is better with no other cats around so maybe u need to find homes for the kittens OR find a home for Sasha where she'll be the only cat? If it was me, I'd find homes for the kittens then try to work with Sasha on her attacking, yowling, etc. It's easier to find homes for kittens than a full grown cat especially since she's not a "friendly" cat.
She might just need time alone and having kittens around wouldn't give her time alone and she might feel that they have taken "you and ur famiy" away from her so maybe that's why she's lashing out at everyone???
I really encourage u to consider finding other homes for the kittens or at least have someone take them for a week or so to see how Sasha is when she's alone. If her behavior improves (less attacking and biting) then u'll know it's because of the kittens. If she still attacks even with no other kittens/cats around then there must be another issue that needs to be resolved. Sure hope others can help u out on this. Keep me posted!
Pamela
Also, have u tried the suggestions others have given such as using double stick tape on curtains, couches,etc to disencourage cats from climbing or using claws on these? Double Stick tape and/or "sticky paws" really works especially with kittens!
I hate to say this but maybe Sasha is better with no other cats around so maybe u need to find homes for the kittens OR find a home for Sasha where she'll be the only cat? If it was me, I'd find homes for the kittens then try to work with Sasha on her attacking, yowling, etc. It's easier to find homes for kittens than a full grown cat especially since she's not a "friendly" cat.
She might just need time alone and having kittens around wouldn't give her time alone and she might feel that they have taken "you and ur famiy" away from her so maybe that's why she's lashing out at everyone???
I really encourage u to consider finding other homes for the kittens or at least have someone take them for a week or so to see how Sasha is when she's alone. If her behavior improves (less attacking and biting) then u'll know it's because of the kittens. If she still attacks even with no other kittens/cats around then there must be another issue that needs to be resolved. Sure hope others can help u out on this. Keep me posted!
Pamela
Look, abandonment affects cats (and dogs) in several different ways. Your Sasha was in a shelter, but she was clearly not feral, because you were able to handle her from the onset. Therefore, she was abandoned by people she had a right to think were going to give her at least a secure and friendly environment with regular meals and a safe place to run to.
But they dumped her, or she was driven too far from home by the males when she became pregnant and couldn't find her way back to her people. Then she ended up in a shelter with a lot of other cats -- like suddenly finding yourself in a detention center without any way of finding your real home.
Then a strange person, however nice, comes along. On top of the newness, she has the horror of miscarriages. Her hormones are telling her to nurture these little dead things, but her experience doesn't help her much. On top of that she has contracted a urinary infection that burns everytime she pisses, and she is still carrying two kittens. She is experiencing nothing but trauma upon trauma upon real physical pain. She is a lost pre-teen, pregnant with quads and physically ill. She has lost two and she doesn't speak her caretaker's language, so there is no way for her to understand what has happened. She has no experience to guide her -- only nature's instincts.
Four weeks after she finally has two lovely kittens, her urinary infection is really hurting, so she is suddenly taken to another detention center, poked, prodded, given several injections, and wakes up with a terrible belly ache. Reunited with her kittens, she hurts, and they want to nurse and be cuddled, and she is going off her head trying to reconcile and integrate all the strange and incomprehensible things that are happening to her. Since the kittens hurt her, she goes through moments of loving them and hating them. How many human mothers have you observed who have had the same reaction to their childen after such a litany of shocks and hurts?
What she needed was for her kittens to be given away at 6-8 weeks, for a completely quiet and isolated environment to give her time to think things out, and non-intrusive supervision and affection. She literally needed to get her head together, but she had two kittens and strange humans, and a strange territory, and the strangeness of new kinds of food, rules and noises, on top of abandonment, pain, and general trauma.
The kittens are now at their most active and curious and demanding to boot. Sasha, on the other hand, hasn't recovered from all the things that have happened to her, and she may still hurt in the belly area. If you've ever nursed babies, you know that there is a direct sensory link from the nipples to the genitals and womb. This is usually pleasurable, but consider how it would feel if you had had a caeserian section, or a hysterectomy soon after your baby was born? Most cats don't have the same pain threshold that humans have, but on top of all that trauma? It is well understood that psychological and physical trauma can increase the sense of pain.
So how do you really think she should feel? In a few short weeks, she has experienced the greatest series of cataclysmic events in her young life and she is saddled with two active and demanding babies and humans who keep trying to pet her. But since their language is incomprehensible -- even the make-nice sounds may be vastly different from her first owners -- she may feel that she is being constantly pushed or forced in some way. This can only add to her general emotional state, which in turn is adding to her physical state.
So how would you treat a human who had been through all this? How many years would you expect your human to carry the emotional scars of such a series of pain and fear? How many years does it take on a psychiatrist's couch to get over such nightmares?
GIVE THE KITTENS AWAY. Give Sasha a quiet, uneventful, unthreatening, and undemanding environment for six months. Don't try to pick her up, Don't even try to pet her. Sit on the floor with her, read a book, listen to the radio or watch TV, and let her watch you until SHE wants to touch. Don't assume that, if she curls up next to you, she wants YOU to touch HER. Talk to her from time to time in a normal and conversational way. Tell her stories and keep your voice soothing and warm. Patience, patience, patience. Let her come to her own moment for affection in her own time on her own terms.
Don't let anyone tell you that cats can't analyze or think things through. Try to arrange things so she doesn't interact with your mother. Give her plenty of space and talk to her -- don't touch. Give her time to get her head together. Living with a cat is not a master-slave situation. It is a learning experience for both sides. In your case, it is a person who wants to receive affection and a cat who needs psycho-therapy before it can reach out and accept or give affection.
Give the kittens away. Or do yourself and her a favor and give Sasha away to someone who will have the patience to help her get her balance again. Trying patience for a few short weeks is not enough. It could take years before she feels herself again. It could be never. Remember that I have an old lady who is three years into being mad at me for taking in strays, and I still can't pick her up without risking being clawed.
Don't feel badly if you have to find a different home for Sasha. Not everyone is cut out to deal with severely traumatized patients.
Good luck to you both.
But they dumped her, or she was driven too far from home by the males when she became pregnant and couldn't find her way back to her people. Then she ended up in a shelter with a lot of other cats -- like suddenly finding yourself in a detention center without any way of finding your real home.
Then a strange person, however nice, comes along. On top of the newness, she has the horror of miscarriages. Her hormones are telling her to nurture these little dead things, but her experience doesn't help her much. On top of that she has contracted a urinary infection that burns everytime she pisses, and she is still carrying two kittens. She is experiencing nothing but trauma upon trauma upon real physical pain. She is a lost pre-teen, pregnant with quads and physically ill. She has lost two and she doesn't speak her caretaker's language, so there is no way for her to understand what has happened. She has no experience to guide her -- only nature's instincts.
Four weeks after she finally has two lovely kittens, her urinary infection is really hurting, so she is suddenly taken to another detention center, poked, prodded, given several injections, and wakes up with a terrible belly ache. Reunited with her kittens, she hurts, and they want to nurse and be cuddled, and she is going off her head trying to reconcile and integrate all the strange and incomprehensible things that are happening to her. Since the kittens hurt her, she goes through moments of loving them and hating them. How many human mothers have you observed who have had the same reaction to their childen after such a litany of shocks and hurts?
What she needed was for her kittens to be given away at 6-8 weeks, for a completely quiet and isolated environment to give her time to think things out, and non-intrusive supervision and affection. She literally needed to get her head together, but she had two kittens and strange humans, and a strange territory, and the strangeness of new kinds of food, rules and noises, on top of abandonment, pain, and general trauma.
The kittens are now at their most active and curious and demanding to boot. Sasha, on the other hand, hasn't recovered from all the things that have happened to her, and she may still hurt in the belly area. If you've ever nursed babies, you know that there is a direct sensory link from the nipples to the genitals and womb. This is usually pleasurable, but consider how it would feel if you had had a caeserian section, or a hysterectomy soon after your baby was born? Most cats don't have the same pain threshold that humans have, but on top of all that trauma? It is well understood that psychological and physical trauma can increase the sense of pain.
So how do you really think she should feel? In a few short weeks, she has experienced the greatest series of cataclysmic events in her young life and she is saddled with two active and demanding babies and humans who keep trying to pet her. But since their language is incomprehensible -- even the make-nice sounds may be vastly different from her first owners -- she may feel that she is being constantly pushed or forced in some way. This can only add to her general emotional state, which in turn is adding to her physical state.
So how would you treat a human who had been through all this? How many years would you expect your human to carry the emotional scars of such a series of pain and fear? How many years does it take on a psychiatrist's couch to get over such nightmares?
GIVE THE KITTENS AWAY. Give Sasha a quiet, uneventful, unthreatening, and undemanding environment for six months. Don't try to pick her up, Don't even try to pet her. Sit on the floor with her, read a book, listen to the radio or watch TV, and let her watch you until SHE wants to touch. Don't assume that, if she curls up next to you, she wants YOU to touch HER. Talk to her from time to time in a normal and conversational way. Tell her stories and keep your voice soothing and warm. Patience, patience, patience. Let her come to her own moment for affection in her own time on her own terms.
Don't let anyone tell you that cats can't analyze or think things through. Try to arrange things so she doesn't interact with your mother. Give her plenty of space and talk to her -- don't touch. Give her time to get her head together. Living with a cat is not a master-slave situation. It is a learning experience for both sides. In your case, it is a person who wants to receive affection and a cat who needs psycho-therapy before it can reach out and accept or give affection.
Give the kittens away. Or do yourself and her a favor and give Sasha away to someone who will have the patience to help her get her balance again. Trying patience for a few short weeks is not enough. It could take years before she feels herself again. It could be never. Remember that I have an old lady who is three years into being mad at me for taking in strays, and I still can't pick her up without risking being clawed.
Don't feel badly if you have to find a different home for Sasha. Not everyone is cut out to deal with severely traumatized patients.
Good luck to you both.
I think catspride is absolutely correct - and what wn excellent way of explaining what is going on.
I agree that you need to find a new home for the kittens.
In the meantime, if you can find some liquid St. John's Wort to put in Sasha's food, it might help her become more at peace with the world. It is not easy to find, but a health food store is the first place I would look. Then follow all of catspride's advice - she knows what she is talking about!
I agree that you need to find a new home for the kittens.
In the meantime, if you can find some liquid St. John's Wort to put in Sasha's food, it might help her become more at peace with the world. It is not easy to find, but a health food store is the first place I would look. Then follow all of catspride's advice - she knows what she is talking about!
