Max is making me so sad... what can I do? I don't understand his behavior...

[huggles]

Originally Posted by pinkdaisy226

lately, every time I look at him I want to just hold him real tight and tell him everything's ok. Of course, when I DO do that, he freaks out and tries to get away.

I so understand that feeling Ari. I am the same with Cedar - just want to hold him to reassure them that they are safe and loved but of course he wants out of my arms.

I do hope the routine will help Max, it sounds like its a possiblity that it could.
I still see progress with Cedar - as others have mentioned, sometimes it just takes time and Max may have alot to deal with being 6 when he came to you, who knows what happened to him in those 6 years.

I feel for you my friend, and if I find some answers for Cedar I will most certainly let you know what is working and what isnt

 

[ekseabolt]

I adopted Bam-bam a male black and white from my sister-in-law. He was so scared of everybody that would come around that he would hide. I think in 7 yrs. I had only seen him twice. He came to live with me about 1 yr ago he still hides from strangers but will come out sometimes while people are still here. My sister-in-law worked alot and was rarely around to give any attention. He seemed to be "love starved" as I call it when it was just me and him he could not get enough attention. He does not like to be picked up and held but will come to me and lay in my lap on his own. He has bonded to me and is extremely loving and sweet. Keep your routine of one on one attention as it will help him to trust you. Every living thing needs be touched to be happy and healthy. Hopefully it will help with his pulling too. Hang in there!

 

[cyberkitten]

Cats have such looong memories - he may well be stressed from an incident. It never occured to me till now but I wonder if cats suffer from post traumatic stress. (I myself am required after my "tours" with Doctors without Borders to attend post traumatic stress counselling - we see such horrible things, the most cruel injuries poeple inflict on each other in the name of religion, their nationality or some other cause. One needs to really believe there is good in people to do that work! I work with the children and NO child should go thru any of that!)


Anyway - sorry to digress. I wonder, as Hissy suggsted, Rescue Remedy would work. It surely helps my YY when she has to go to the V-E-T or on an airplane trip to Florida. Also, feliway might help Max too. I've read it gets great results with ocd in kitties. (if I can label it that - hate to label anyone, feline or human).

Good luck with Max. It does take time - our family had a cat we rescued as kitten from a park where she had been dumped from a moving vehicle and she never really trusted too many people. She hid when anyone - even people she had met before who were kind and petted her or gave her treats. And she was not to be found when it was bedtime but at night, she'd crawl in next to me under the covers and nestle next to my side. I swear she had nightmares - she was jumpy in her sleep (tho YY is sometimes like that too and it seems not uncommon) and she would settle down when I petted her or talked to her. She did not like to be picked up but once I sat down, she would jump into my lap or sometimes on my arm, it had to be her choice and on her terms.

She rarely meowed and we wondered if her former so called "companions" had hurt her for meowing. She did learn to meow for food tho and would be quite insistent, lol

So maybe Max had some bad exoeriences and the best thing yuou can do is love him to pieces, try some Feliway or Rescue Remedy (I am not the biggest proponent of anti anxiety meds for kitties with chronic probs like this - do the benefits outweigh the risks and adverse effects and shanges in personality and usually they don't and will the cat become dependent on the med just to have a nornal life? Better to develop it gradually. Rescue Remedy is an essence so is not a drug in the sense we know of medications.

Good luck!! And I'll send some good vibes to Max!