making friends with cat advice

[thefiresidecat]

we live in a semi rural area and have a cadre of local neighborhood cats that visit us. one in particular we've seen for about 2 years. the first year he had a collar and was very erratic as to when he'd come by and in bad weather he'd disappear for months sometimes to reappear in spring. in the 8 months he shows up for all meals. and is out in the worst weather no collar. we are thinking maybe he's been abandoned. we've had a number of houses sell in the neighborhood and there were two sales the month that he started showing up regularly for food. he actually will wait for hours on our porch for us to put food out for him. he's appears to be unneutered.

we are thinking we should grab him and get him to the vet to look for tags and maybe get him neutered and checked for diseases. but since he's waiting on our doorstep for us and only retreating a few feet when we put out food we're thinking maybe it should not be hard to make friends with him.

what are the steps you would take to try and befriend a kitty like this? we're actually pretty worried for him. he's a tiny guy and we have big owls, coyotes and eagles as well as fast driving jerks a couple blocks away.

the thing that moved me from being on the fence about him probably still having a home or not is one day I saw him dispatch a mouse. it was fast. and he ate it in like three bites. there was no toying with it.. none at all. I've never seen that behavior in a cat with a home.

 

[silent meowlook]

Hi. You will probably need a cat trap to get him. I don’t know what area you are in but look up “ feral cat coalition” or “ Alley cat allies” they may be able to help you with obtaining a trap and getting him neutered. If you are going to use a private vet office make sure they can handle a frightened cat.

 

[Tobermory]

we are thinking we should grab him and get him to the vet to look for tags and maybe get him neutered and checked for diseases. but since he's waiting on our doorstep for us and only retreating a few feet when we put out food we're thinking maybe it should not be hard to make friends with him.

Poor guy. How wonderful of you to feed him and care about him!

The fact that he backs up only a few feet seems to indicate that he’s cautious and not yet trusting but he’s not feral. Since he’s clearly hungry and sees you as a food source, you might try putting the food down when he comes around, and then backing away and staying to one side to see if he approaches the food and eats. If he does, then just sit and talk to him quietly without making any move toward him. After he seems more comfortable with your presence, slowly extend the back of your hand and see if he will approach to sniff your hand…or even rub on it. If you try to reach toward him, he may skitter away. Just keep your hand still and let him make the moves.

I wouldn’t try to grab him until you’ve established a level of trust and he begins to approach you regularly. Do you have a place out of the weather where he can go?

 

[fionasmom]

While you could give this more time to see if he allows you to become friendlier, there does seem to be some risk to his wellbeing in doing that. What Tobermory is suggesting is certainly a good plan and I have done this with numerous strays over the years. If you feel that he is in great danger outside, then trapping is the option. If you have not trapped before, you can get a lot of advice here if you decide to go that route. I would not go the middle route and try to grab him as that could set you back apiece with his trust level.

He may well not be feral, especially given your suspicions based upon seeing him with a collar. To me, that rules out feral entirely. Period. He was abandoned.

If you do trap him, make sure that you have a vet in mind or a rescue which does TNR and light physical exams, etc. If you do know how to trap, I don't want to make you read a big explanation of what to do, but if not please let us know so we can help out. It does sound as if he wants and needs help.

 

[thefiresidecat]

we did this a few years ago with trapping with another of our cats. he was more skittish than this cat is. we were just hoping we could go a friendlier option with this cat since he seems much more calm about us and seems to want in. we put out a cat house when we were trying to get dante and it's still out there but no cats have shown interest in it. the problem is we also have a large population of raccoons so I think anything we put out shelterwise the cats are afraid of because there is nothing we can do to raccoon proof them and keep them open for neighborhood cats. when I said grab.. I didn't mean like just the first chance he came close we'd grab him. but as in after we'd built up enough trust that he was ok with being picked up. was thinking about sitting out there with tuna or something but don't want to attract attention of the raccoons at the same time. we do have a local vet who is helpful with this kind of thing. we used them when we trapped dante. we thought dante was going to be on the feral side. (he wasn't)

when we open the door to feed him he retreats about 5 feet. when we opened the door to feed dante he'd run away for half an hour then come back. so we think there is real potential for befriending kitty.

we are skittish on trapping now because we had a trap and the bottom came off it when we tried to get another cat who was probably actually feral. she managed to unlatch it and escape thru the bottom thru a very small opening and we were afraid she might have hurt herself doing it. as such we're a little afraid of doing it that way now except for as a last resort. we never saw her again



edit another thing I may have written to cause confusion is the word tags, I meant microchips. not like feral tags. I know he isn't feral. no way.

 

[fionasmom]

I have had the same issue with cat shelters on my property which have been commandeered by possums and skunks. It is something that you cannot control. If you feel that this little boy will become friendly, I think that your plan is a good one. He may be very close to deciding that he can trust you and there is no reason not to try sitting out with tuna as long as you have control of the food. When I have had to bait a trap, I have always used Kentucky Fried Chicken. While you don't want this cat to eat that for a diet, I wonder if enticing him with something like that might get him to come closer and allow you to touch him.

If it does come down to trapping, I suggest that you rent or buy a new trap. Most shelters or feed stores will rent one to you. A trap that misfires or causes problems can completely deter even a friendly cat.

 

[thefiresidecat]

we've been thinking about trying to lure him in the back door to the basement with wet stinky food. (we can totally shut it off from upstairs so no mingling of cats) but then we have the problem of how do we get him in a carrier to get him to the vet? because we'd want to do that pronto to make sure he didn't have anything bad that could pass to our cats and to get him neutered of course. we have no idea how friendly or not friendly this little dude will be once trapped inside.

 

[fionasmom]

If you get him into the basement, which is not a bad idea, you would have to expect that he might not be friendly, would be scared, and there would be an adjustment period in which you might not be able to immediately get him to a vet. I do think from your previous description of him that he has a good chance of settling down and trusting you, but it might be a longer process in the basement.