Lonely? Adopted single cat from large resuce

[jo6688]

Hello - I just found this site googling concerns about my new cat, please excuse me if this is an improper post! Four days ago I adopted a 2 year old cat, Winston, from a rescue that housed about 75 cats in a house. The cats roamed freely so he was used to being with others.  I am a staff member who lives on campus at a University and can only have 1 cat, but I am worried Winston misses his friends.

I'm a first time cat owner and I know there is an adjustment period (I am trying to be patient!), but he lays under my bed all day, hiding. A few times a day, he will come out and sit next to me, purring non-stop and rubbing his body against my arms and legs. He kneeds his paws a lot - on me, on the carpet, on the tile floor. I try to move slowly and not make any noises that startle him. He's great during these times but his tail is almost always down and his ears are sideways about 50% of the time, even when he is purring and snuggling. Around 2-4am, he will roam the apartment crying so loudly. He rarely leaves my bedroom during the day and is usually very quiet, except during these times. 

Every time I leave the house, he will go back to hiding and I need to woo him all over again to not hiss at me. Can he be forgetting who I am? How do I help him feel safer and more secure? I should note that the rescue found him on the streets at about 9 months old. They believe he was feral before then and were impressed with his domestication over the last year. I am assuming this makes the re-acclimation process a little harder for him?

Thank you for any and all help! I am very worried we are not going to be a great pair and I desperately want us to be!

 

[DreamerRose]

It takes a long time to build trust, and your cat has had some not so good experiences. Keep on doing what you're doing. We have a lot of people here on the site who are familiar with feral cats and can give more suggestions. In the meantime, don't lock eyes with him - look away after a minute. Also try the slow blink - when he's watching you, close and open your eyes slowly. This is cat language for "I love/like you." He will respond to that. 

Offer him some treats when he's under the bed, encouraging him to come out. Then extend a finger or a fist to him to smell. This is like saying hello. The kneading is great - it means he likes what is under his paws and it reminds him of his mother.

Don't give up! You will end up being the wonderful pair you hope for. Check some of the other threads on the site. Several people are going through the same thing you are.

 

[jo6688]

Thank you! I'll keep looking around the site, but the reassurance that we are doing okay so far was incredibly helpful!

 

[molly92]

It's okay! It's very normal for cats to take a while to adjust to their new environment, especially former ferals. They tend to have to learn to trust every new person in their life from scratch. Food and treats are great for speeding the process along, and if he likes to play, that's also a really good way to bond.

That he's eating is great and that's usually the big worry with shy cats. Keep an eye on his signals and keep interactions short but frequent so they're less overwhelming. Also, a strict schedule and routine helps a lot of cats feel more comfortable when they know what to expect and when.

Purring can sometimes be a sign of stress, because cats will purr to calm themselves down. If he'd rather stay in the bedroom for now, that's completely fine. The slow blinking method is very useful. You'll know he's starting to relax when he slow blinks back. When petting a stressed cat, I like to use just one or two fingers and make gentle little strokes from the tip of their nose back, because this is how a mother cat starts a grooming session with her kittens and it's a comforting feeling. You can also put wet food or human baby food (meat flavor, no onions or garlic) on the tip of your finger so he can lick it off and get more comfortable with you and your hands. 

You can also buy Feliway plug-ins that emit synthetic happy cat pheromones and help stressed cats feel better.

He might miss his playmates, but it's hard to tell right now. He's mostly just confused and scared, and he'll adjust to being an only cat. Just be sure to give him lots of attention and playtime when he gets more comfortable.

He's not forgetting who you are, he's just not sure of your motives yet. It takes most cats some period of time before they decide that a person is safe to be relaxed around, and that amount of time can be anywhere from seconds to months. I agree what you've been doing so far is great, and I don't doubt you two will become very bonded with time.

 

[DreamerRose]

Here's another thread about a man with two new Siamese cats:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/315255/new-siamese-owner-begging-for-help

There's a lot of good information there.

 

[jo6688]

Thank you both! This website and forum section are so wonderful. I am so happy to have stumbled onto to such a great resource. I just purchased some feliway on Amazon so I am eager for that to come in. I'll also try to win him over with some yummy snacks and slow eye blinks. Here's hoping!

 

[kittens mom]

You cat is grieving the loss of his companions. It's natural and normal. Add to that a new home a new person and new smells. Our Mercy ran through the house calling the first week. I assume it was in search of a cat friend she no longer had. Or a human one. She was returned to the shelter after being adopted. While you want to bond making sure he is eating and drinking are the top priorities. If he wants to eat under the bed so be it. His litter box should be situated so that he feels safe going there.  He is scared and confused. You can't love him out of it but you can reduce the stress by making his access to necessities easy

Wand toys are great . They can draw a timid cat out and the interactive play is bonding even if there is no touching. He's really not acting that much different than any cat brought into a new home.

 

[caitini]

Totally agree with what the others have said. He just needs time! When I adopted Fuzzy he was painfully shy ... I couldn't understand why such a strikingly beautiful cat had been in foster care for so long but I guess most people just want an instant lap cat .. but I fell completely in love with him and was determined to give him as long as he needed to come around. Well it did take a couple months for him to make those first tentative steps toward my lap... now, just over a year later, he is so unbelievably warm and affectionate - with me anyway, he still hides under the bed when I have visitors LOL. It was a long slow journey to get here but honestly I would not trade him for any other cat in the world.

Winston will get there too! Make sure you come back and let us know when he does!