Lack of confidence :(

[sammyrae]

My older girl seems to have a lack of confidence. Whenever people come over, she runs and hides. She seems to always walk like she's always on guard and spooks very easily. Ive had her for 6 years, 5 of which were spent at my mother's house. I moved for college a little over a year ago and didn't initially plan on bringing her, as I wasn't sure if I could afford it. After a couple months, I learned my baby was miserable and had been since I left so I decided I would bring her and make sure I could afford it. Ever since I brought her here, almost a year ago, she has been A LOT better, more confident than she ever was at my mother's. however, she is still insecure it seems. What should I do?

 

[catspaw66]

Just keep on giving her love, attention and reassurance. Silly, who is 14, still hides under the bed when anybody comes over. She did this even when I had more company than I do now.

When people come over, let them know that you have a shy cat, and tell them not to make a lot of noise or try to grab her if they see her.

 

[sammyrae]

I do do that. She is snuggly with me at night but I'm like the only one she doesn't run from. When I come home from school or work, she runs into the living room. When she walks, her tail is generally down .

 

[buckwheat]

I've had Buckwheat 4-5mos now, she eats well, plays at nite But I've never been able to touch him. He is very shy, he runs and hids from me all the time. I don't know wwhat to do. I called vet, and he said bring him in to be fixed and get his shotss. I have to trap him to catch him I can't get him to willing go into his taxi. The vet charges are 170$. I have no idea what to do. I can't even get him to go outside. I read so much about behavioral cats I don't think I can do do this long term. What should I do cat lovers. Should I spend the money, and let him go free, or scare him out the door, or call humane society and have him picked him....wow I had no idea cats were like this

 

[buckwheat]

Typo buckwheat is a male now one year old. I got him when he was 8mos.

 

[yayi]

.wow I had no idea cats were like this

I read your thread and replied. It is always wise to do research about any animal you are planning to adopt.

 

[irinasak]

SammyRae, I guess some cats are just like that, scardy cats.

I have one girl who only comes out for me and my bf, but only on her own terms and only when she feels like it, not when she's called. Every time we have someone over, Amelie hides under the bed. We just let her be.

My other girl, Sophie, has her own weird criteria of judging people. She hides from my bf's parents who love her, but comes to greet the lady who comes in winter to check our heaters once a month. She doesn't like our landlord who has six cats of his own, but she likes the cleaning lady. Again, she is free to hide or to roam, as she pleases.

And then there's Harley... this guy purrs all the time, he loves everybody and everything and not even the vacuum cleaner scares him.

So what I am trying to say is just let her be. Pet her, love her, provide enough spaces for her to climb and to hide. And don't try to force her to face her fears, it will only scare her more.

 

[sammyrae]

SammyRae, I guess some cats are just like that, scardy cats.

I have one girl who only comes out for me and my bf, but only on her own terms and only when she feels like it, not when she's called. Every time we have someone over, Amelie hides under the bed. We just let her be.

My other girl, Sophie, has her own weird criteria of judging people. She hides from my bf's parents who love her, but comes to greet the lady who comes in winter to check our heaters once a month. She doesn't like our landlord who has six cats of his own, but she likes the cleaning lady. Again, she is free to hide or to roam, as she pleases.

And then there's Harley... this guy purrs all the time, he loves everybody and everything and not even the vacuum cleaner scares him.

So what I am trying to say is just let her be. Pet her, love her, provide enough spaces for her to climb and to hide. And don't try to force her to face her fears, it will only scare her more.

I love her just the same . My other kitty is the complete opposite and kind of bullies Felix because of her lack of confidence. I feel so bad for her. I try to separate them when Maya bullies her but she gets REALLY upset if her and Maya aren't together. I just don't get it.

 

[vadzilla]

I have two cats, with very different personalities. One (male) is not afraid of anything or anybody. The other (female) runs away as soon as she hears someone new in the house, or when I vacuum. Likes to hide under the bed covers.  We just learned to accept this behavior - both cats are very affectionate with the entire family.  I think personalities are established during the first coulpe of months of their lives. If a kitten is exposed to many (nice) people and various environments, she will not be shy. Genetics also plays a role.

 

[sammyrae]

I have two cats, with very different personalities. One (male) is not afraid of anything or anybody. The other (female) runs away as soon as she hears someone new in the house, or when I vacuum. Likes to hide under the bed covers.  We just learned to accept this behavior - both cats are very affectionate with the entire family.  I think personalities are established during the first coulpe of months of their lives. If a kitten is exposed to many (nice) people and various environments, she will not be shy. Genetics also plays a role.

Felix WAS found in an alley when she was a few months old (my mom almost didn't let us keep her) so that might have played a big roll. I just feel bad for hee .