- Joined
- May 28, 2013
- Messages
- 4
- Purraise
- 1
First:
We're newbies - both to the site & to being kitten "parents". I grew up with a few cats but was never responsible for them. My wife never had a cat. If I am posting something that has been thoroughly discussed elsewhere on the site, my apologies & please point me at it. I've looked but there are a LOT of posts here & the VAST majority of biting issues are about cats biting people; not one kitten biting on the other.
Background:
Rocky the kitten came to us on 5/6 around 4 weeks old, 1.1 pounds & starving after being found in a stone yard where my step-daughter works. He is a biter & is extremely active. My wife & I both work but we are fortunate in that my wife works from home & I can most of the time so he has gotten plenty of attention. But, we thought it would be good to get him a playmate as he seems to need more attention than we generally are able to give during work hours at least. Plus, I'd like to start making a few more appearances at the office again...
Since shelters allow adoptions only at 8 weeks or later, we adopted Chloe at 8 weeks old on 6/7 so they'd be basically the same age. She is a very friendly, docile & well-socialized girl that had been given up with her mother & siblings. We learned too late that we ought to have gotten another high energy guy like Rocky. We live in a bi-level that Rocky had the run of upstairs. The lower/basement level had been blocked off more because of my lack of time to kitten-proof it than anything else so that (after the kitten-proofing) became Chloe's area when we brought her home. I slept down there for over a week on a couch & my wife & I have regular play & cuddle sessions with her. We did the "exchange smells" on washcloths, getting past his hissing at anything that smelled like her, graduating to footsy under the door at around 3 days & introduced them at 4 days.
The Biting:
Rocky initially bit hands & feet regularly. After a bit of a stutter-start (I played with him with my hands for exactly one day before getting corrected & then completely stopped. I tried squirt bottles with initial but quick-waning success.), he has largely stopped biting humans. If he is picked up & doesn't want to be he bites. But, if he bites us "unprovoked" we just tell him firmly "No biting!" & I ignore him for a few minutes.
Our problem/question area is kitten to kitten play time. We started putting them together 2 weeks ago. He - at nearly 4 pounds - is significantly larger than she is - about 2.75 - & since he is/was resident & male he is showing what appears to be dominance with a splash of territory defense & a large helping of "Mama didn't teach me better so I'm gonna bite the HECK out of you." This appears to me to be more than just standard play, but again this is all new to me. I've read a good deal - forum posts, web articles, books - on the subject & it appears the origin of the biting is his early separation from Mom.He just never learned not to. But, we're "Mom" now.
Lots of people say it's "normal" for them to rough-house & I get that. But, he regularly bites down hard enough on her to cause her to cry out. No blood yet, though. The chase/tackle/nip/scratch/paw each other thing I get. The chomping down hard enough for her to cry & hiss seems excessive to us. I've seen references to having them together until they groom each other. Will that really ever happen between a boy & a girl? I've seen other introduction advice in several places that says have them play together but supervise. Supervise for what? For too much intensity, right? Doesn't this qualify?
We are getting them together about 3 times a day for about a half hour or 45 minutes each time now. I have been trying "time-outs" for a week where I put him in a bathroom for 2 - 3 minutes for biting too hard after reading that advice somewhere to help for biting people. For a day or two, that seemed to have the desired effect. He'd come out mellower & not go after her as intensely. Now, it's like the penalty box in a hockey game. When the door opens, he flies out of there at full speed. He may or may not go right back to full-on hard biting. So, here we are a full 2 weeks into the introduction & she is still living in the basement with occasional visitation to the upper floor. We bring her up to hang out in the office with us while we work keeping him out several times a day so she isn't just "locked in the dungeon". We have dreams of them getting along without supervision. But, we are beginning to wonder when that will happen...
Am I over-reacting? Do we need to just let them have at it? It seems like that will result in her being hurt & that seems a little harsh for her. She is now biting more, too. There was initially almost none of that from her but she is adopting his behavior I think - which is understandable given that she needs to defend herself. She is almost always coming back for more (99% of the time) as opposed to hiding somewhere & not coming out until he's gone. Does that mean all is well?
Of Note:
The intensity seems a little bit higher in "his" (upstairs) territory than downstairs. They play in both areas but mostly did it downstairs initially.
After Chloe got here, Rocky began attempting to "nurse" on my wife. The wife has taken on the cuddling Mom role quite well & doesn't discourage him & it has largely subsided. Chloe is self-nursing. Both of these seem to indicate insecurity.
Any insight from those with experience would be much appreciated.
We're newbies - both to the site & to being kitten "parents". I grew up with a few cats but was never responsible for them. My wife never had a cat. If I am posting something that has been thoroughly discussed elsewhere on the site, my apologies & please point me at it. I've looked but there are a LOT of posts here & the VAST majority of biting issues are about cats biting people; not one kitten biting on the other.
Background:
Rocky the kitten came to us on 5/6 around 4 weeks old, 1.1 pounds & starving after being found in a stone yard where my step-daughter works. He is a biter & is extremely active. My wife & I both work but we are fortunate in that my wife works from home & I can most of the time so he has gotten plenty of attention. But, we thought it would be good to get him a playmate as he seems to need more attention than we generally are able to give during work hours at least. Plus, I'd like to start making a few more appearances at the office again...
Since shelters allow adoptions only at 8 weeks or later, we adopted Chloe at 8 weeks old on 6/7 so they'd be basically the same age. She is a very friendly, docile & well-socialized girl that had been given up with her mother & siblings. We learned too late that we ought to have gotten another high energy guy like Rocky. We live in a bi-level that Rocky had the run of upstairs. The lower/basement level had been blocked off more because of my lack of time to kitten-proof it than anything else so that (after the kitten-proofing) became Chloe's area when we brought her home. I slept down there for over a week on a couch & my wife & I have regular play & cuddle sessions with her. We did the "exchange smells" on washcloths, getting past his hissing at anything that smelled like her, graduating to footsy under the door at around 3 days & introduced them at 4 days.
The Biting:
Rocky initially bit hands & feet regularly. After a bit of a stutter-start (I played with him with my hands for exactly one day before getting corrected & then completely stopped. I tried squirt bottles with initial but quick-waning success.), he has largely stopped biting humans. If he is picked up & doesn't want to be he bites. But, if he bites us "unprovoked" we just tell him firmly "No biting!" & I ignore him for a few minutes.
Our problem/question area is kitten to kitten play time. We started putting them together 2 weeks ago. He - at nearly 4 pounds - is significantly larger than she is - about 2.75 - & since he is/was resident & male he is showing what appears to be dominance with a splash of territory defense & a large helping of "Mama didn't teach me better so I'm gonna bite the HECK out of you." This appears to me to be more than just standard play, but again this is all new to me. I've read a good deal - forum posts, web articles, books - on the subject & it appears the origin of the biting is his early separation from Mom.He just never learned not to. But, we're "Mom" now.
Lots of people say it's "normal" for them to rough-house & I get that. But, he regularly bites down hard enough on her to cause her to cry out. No blood yet, though. The chase/tackle/nip/scratch/paw each other thing I get. The chomping down hard enough for her to cry & hiss seems excessive to us. I've seen references to having them together until they groom each other. Will that really ever happen between a boy & a girl? I've seen other introduction advice in several places that says have them play together but supervise. Supervise for what? For too much intensity, right? Doesn't this qualify?
We are getting them together about 3 times a day for about a half hour or 45 minutes each time now. I have been trying "time-outs" for a week where I put him in a bathroom for 2 - 3 minutes for biting too hard after reading that advice somewhere to help for biting people. For a day or two, that seemed to have the desired effect. He'd come out mellower & not go after her as intensely. Now, it's like the penalty box in a hockey game. When the door opens, he flies out of there at full speed. He may or may not go right back to full-on hard biting. So, here we are a full 2 weeks into the introduction & she is still living in the basement with occasional visitation to the upper floor. We bring her up to hang out in the office with us while we work keeping him out several times a day so she isn't just "locked in the dungeon". We have dreams of them getting along without supervision. But, we are beginning to wonder when that will happen...
Am I over-reacting? Do we need to just let them have at it? It seems like that will result in her being hurt & that seems a little harsh for her. She is now biting more, too. There was initially almost none of that from her but she is adopting his behavior I think - which is understandable given that she needs to defend herself. She is almost always coming back for more (99% of the time) as opposed to hiding somewhere & not coming out until he's gone. Does that mean all is well?
Of Note:
The intensity seems a little bit higher in "his" (upstairs) territory than downstairs. They play in both areas but mostly did it downstairs initially.
After Chloe got here, Rocky began attempting to "nurse" on my wife. The wife has taken on the cuddling Mom role quite well & doesn't discourage him & it has largely subsided. Chloe is self-nursing. Both of these seem to indicate insecurity.
Any insight from those with experience would be much appreciated.
