This is partially just a vent, because I am really kind of crushed right now, so I apologise for that, but I also want to get opinions/adive if possible, so it's not totally just a bunch of whining, if that makes it any better.
I'm going into my third year of a B.A. Hons. degree in psychology. My plan since I entered this programme in first year has been to go to grad school, get a Ph.D and practice clinical psychology - I love academia and research and writing papers and student life, blah, blah (yes, I'm a huge nerd) so I have been really psyched (no pun intended
) about this career path, as I'd be in school until, oh, 30 or so, and then a career in psychology in private practice would really suit my personality, I think. I really, really had my heart set on this.
Well, come to find out, my plans are not so realistic. I had a meeting with my advisor yesterday to discuss course selection for the upcoming year, and she basically told me that my grades are not good enough, so I had better start making alternate plans for after grad.
I don't have *bad* grades my any means - I have lots of B+s, some Bs, some As, but apparently I need to get all As and A+s in the next two years in order to have even a remote shot at grad school acceptance (and even then my chances will not be great because I have B+s and Bs from my second year). I honestly don't think it's possible for to get ALL As and A+s in everything for the next two years - for financial reasons I HAVE to work 15-20 hours a week, which takes up a lot of time, and honestly I am just not a genius like that - I consider myself fairly intelligent, but B+s and some As are my general standards when doing my best, again considering that I also need to devote a certain amount of time to work (if I could quit my job, I could probably manage all As, but the bottom line is that I can't). And even if I do get all As, it's still not a given or even likely - apparently each school take approx. 25-40 new students each year, out of roughly 500 (or more) applicants!
Also, we discussed the career path in general, and frankly, it's pretty terrifying - even assuming I do pull all As and get lucky and they overlook my Bs from last year and I get into grad school, I would then need to spend years on a thesis that COULD be rejected, compete for internship positions in order to ever be able to practice (also incredibly competive, apparently), and then after finishing, compete for very, very few positions either within the university or with a practice - apparently it's not unlikely to complete your Ph.D only to be unable to find employment as a prof. or practitioner! There are just SO many places along the line where rejection (and thus not being employed in the field) is a huge possibility, and honestly the thought of having to compete, compete, compete for the next ten years (in a lot of cases with rich kids who have gone to private school since the age of two, with expensive tutors for everything and who don't have to work and who have parents/family already in the field/university) before finally being reasonably certain of success in the field makes me feel like having a nervous breakdown. I just don't think I'm cut out for the level of comeptition involved with this - it's not that I expect it to be easy, or that I want it to just be handed to me, either, mind you, but there's a difference between challenging but a reasonably sure thing with hard work, and possibly out of reach even with hard work, you know? I just keep thinking about spending years and years doing all the competing, spending all that money, running up student loans only to be unable to find work in the field because there is too much competition for too many positions. So I'm honestly feeling like, even if I could get in at this point, I don't think it's right for me.
Which has me really crushed. First of all, I am so disappointed that now I will have to go out into the workforce in two years' time - I don't like the competition, but as I said, I do love the actual academia, and I was so looking forward to being a 'professional student'. Also, I just feel awful about myself realising that I'm just not good enough to effectively compete and get into grad school. I feel so stupid and sub-par, and I've never really felt that way about myself before (I was considered one of the 'smart kids' all through elementary and high school, so this is new) and it's awful - I hate realising that I'm not good enough. I'm also terrified because now I have no clue what I want to do with my life. With just my B.A., my career options are so disappointing - I could either take one of the many jobs unrelated to my field that just requires *any* B.A. - which I do NOT want to do, just the thought makes me want to cry - or else within the field my only option really is a research assistant - and that is so hard to swallow for me, that that's what I'll amount to, a research assistant (I'm sorry, that probably sounds horribly snobby, I don't mean to be that way at all, just I always felt so sure I'd get an advanced degree). I guess alternately I could enter a different grad programme that's less competitive, but I have no clue what my options are there or if that's even possible. I am just so, so sad - I have been crying on and off day and night since I found this out - I just feel like my dreams have been crushed, and I also feel totally pathetic because I've always been told that you can achieve any dream if you try hard enough and blah, blah but, so either I'm just not trying hard enough and am giving up my dream too easily and will end up growing old in a dead end job, embittered (which is a horrible thought) or that is crap (not a pleasant thought either).
I just don't know what to do with my life now. I feel so depressed and just heartbroken that I am now probably going to end up spending my entire life doing a job I don't like - naive, probably, but I just never pictured my life turning out that way. I guess if anyone has any advice (has anyone else gotten just a B.A. in psych? What career did you have now? Do you like it? Or otherwise, does anyone have advice about what careers are possible with a B.A. in psych in general [particularly I'd be interested in anything to do with animals]?) or anything at all, I would hugely appreciate it. Sorry this got really, really long, if anyone even manages to get through it, you're amaziing - thank you for letting me vent, and in advance if anyone has any advice at all.
I'm going into my third year of a B.A. Hons. degree in psychology. My plan since I entered this programme in first year has been to go to grad school, get a Ph.D and practice clinical psychology - I love academia and research and writing papers and student life, blah, blah (yes, I'm a huge nerd) so I have been really psyched (no pun intended
Well, come to find out, my plans are not so realistic. I had a meeting with my advisor yesterday to discuss course selection for the upcoming year, and she basically told me that my grades are not good enough, so I had better start making alternate plans for after grad.
Also, we discussed the career path in general, and frankly, it's pretty terrifying - even assuming I do pull all As and get lucky and they overlook my Bs from last year and I get into grad school, I would then need to spend years on a thesis that COULD be rejected, compete for internship positions in order to ever be able to practice (also incredibly competive, apparently), and then after finishing, compete for very, very few positions either within the university or with a practice - apparently it's not unlikely to complete your Ph.D only to be unable to find employment as a prof. or practitioner! There are just SO many places along the line where rejection (and thus not being employed in the field) is a huge possibility, and honestly the thought of having to compete, compete, compete for the next ten years (in a lot of cases with rich kids who have gone to private school since the age of two, with expensive tutors for everything and who don't have to work and who have parents/family already in the field/university) before finally being reasonably certain of success in the field makes me feel like having a nervous breakdown. I just don't think I'm cut out for the level of comeptition involved with this - it's not that I expect it to be easy, or that I want it to just be handed to me, either, mind you, but there's a difference between challenging but a reasonably sure thing with hard work, and possibly out of reach even with hard work, you know? I just keep thinking about spending years and years doing all the competing, spending all that money, running up student loans only to be unable to find work in the field because there is too much competition for too many positions. So I'm honestly feeling like, even if I could get in at this point, I don't think it's right for me.
Which has me really crushed. First of all, I am so disappointed that now I will have to go out into the workforce in two years' time - I don't like the competition, but as I said, I do love the actual academia, and I was so looking forward to being a 'professional student'. Also, I just feel awful about myself realising that I'm just not good enough to effectively compete and get into grad school. I feel so stupid and sub-par, and I've never really felt that way about myself before (I was considered one of the 'smart kids' all through elementary and high school, so this is new) and it's awful - I hate realising that I'm not good enough. I'm also terrified because now I have no clue what I want to do with my life. With just my B.A., my career options are so disappointing - I could either take one of the many jobs unrelated to my field that just requires *any* B.A. - which I do NOT want to do, just the thought makes me want to cry - or else within the field my only option really is a research assistant - and that is so hard to swallow for me, that that's what I'll amount to, a research assistant (I'm sorry, that probably sounds horribly snobby, I don't mean to be that way at all, just I always felt so sure I'd get an advanced degree). I guess alternately I could enter a different grad programme that's less competitive, but I have no clue what my options are there or if that's even possible. I am just so, so sad - I have been crying on and off day and night since I found this out - I just feel like my dreams have been crushed, and I also feel totally pathetic because I've always been told that you can achieve any dream if you try hard enough and blah, blah but, so either I'm just not trying hard enough and am giving up my dream too easily and will end up growing old in a dead end job, embittered (which is a horrible thought) or that is crap (not a pleasant thought either).
I just don't know what to do with my life now. I feel so depressed and just heartbroken that I am now probably going to end up spending my entire life doing a job I don't like - naive, probably, but I just never pictured my life turning out that way. I guess if anyone has any advice (has anyone else gotten just a B.A. in psych? What career did you have now? Do you like it? Or otherwise, does anyone have advice about what careers are possible with a B.A. in psych in general [particularly I'd be interested in anything to do with animals]?) or anything at all, I would hugely appreciate it. Sorry this got really, really long, if anyone even manages to get through it, you're amaziing - thank you for letting me vent, and in advance if anyone has any advice at all.