Kids Say the Darndest Things!!!

[lovinmom828]

I was going threw some papers trying to find an imprtant doc. and i started telling my husband I can find that paper anywhere i think i am loosing my mind and just then my 4 year old son says its in your nose mom go ahead and pick it. We all lost it rolling on the floor laughing.

 

[sarahbeez]

These are hilarious!

When we were younger my mom & aunts & all of the kids would stay at a hotel for a weekend- they would party and we'd play. Well my cousin Dean who was about 5 or 6 at the time smeared almost an entire tube of toothpaste allllllll over the bathroom mirror. When my aunt asked him why he did it, he said "WELL, the directions don't say NOT to!"

It was hilarious!

 

[loveysmummy]

Originally Posted by emrldsky

I have two older brothers, one 5 years older and the other 3. Growing up with them was a nightmare because they always picked on me.

When I was about 8 or 9, we had a dog named Murphy. Now, Murphy was a mutt, but he was a BIG mutt. He was part lab and chow-chow, but we weren't sure what else. Basically, he looked like a bear.

So, one day, my brothers decided to torment me, as per usual. One grabbed my feet, the other grabbed my arms and then they drag me over to Murphy. They proceed to tell me that they're going to feed me to him (mind you, this dog was so GENTLE with kids), and start with my feet.

When I got away, I ran into the house where my parents and grandparents were talking and I yell (with tears running down my face), "Mom! John and Lee were going to feed me to Murphy!" When that didn't get a reaction, I added, "FEET FIRST!" with an exasperated emphasis. Yeah, they still tease me about that.

When my brother John was about 3, he climbed up onto the washing machine. My mom just watched him, making sure he wasn't going to fall off. As he's looking around, trying to figure out how to get down, he says, "I don't believe this sh**!"

I'll have to think of more.

Those are good! I love this thread! Keep them coming...I will have to think back and remember some!

 

[4crazycats]

I got one for you guys. Today I took the little boy I watch to the zoo.
When we got to the Elephants he asked if we could get closer.

I told him no we were as close as we could get.

Then he says Oh because they will blow me up their noses?

 

[annasmom]

Well, today my daughter made her first racial stereotype and I blame Disney.

Some background for those of you without kids... Disney recently launched a new show called Handy Manny. Its about a Dora the Explorer-type show, in which the lead character Manny is a Hispanic handyman and it teaches kids a little bit of Spanish.

So this morning, a man of Hispanic descent came to fix our carpets because they were coming up at the edges. He brought in this huge case which held the carpet stretcher and also, a hammer. My daughter immediately says "He's got tools, he's just like Handy Manny."

I was extremely embarrassed, but probably shouldn't be, and it seemed like, fortunately, the carpet man is not familiar with the show.

 

[dixie_darlin]

Originally Posted by AnnasMom

Well, today my daughter made her first racial stereotype and I blame Disney.

Some background for those of you without kids... Disney recently launched a new show called Handy Manny. Its about a Dora the Explorer-type show, in which the lead character Manny is a Hispanic handyman and it teaches kids a little bit of Spanish.

So this morning, a man of Hispanic descent came to fix our carpets because they were coming up at the edges. He brought in this huge case which held the carpet stretcher and also, a hammer. My daughter immediately says "He's got tools, he's just like Handy Manny."

I was extremely embarrassed, but probably shouldn't be, and it seemed like, fortunately, the carpet man is not familiar with the show.

Deacon did the same thing once. He seen a little girl of hispanic decent in walmart. She was the cutest thing! He was sitting in the cart next to her sitting in her mom's cart. He looked at me and says "MOMMY! LOOK! IT'S DORA!" and about jumped out of the cart to meet her

Thank goodness her mother had a sense of humor... we both died laughing

 

[angelkitty]

I've got some funnys for ya:

My neice and nephew were fighting and my nephew who is younger runs into the living room and says "Sissy is hitting me", and my neice runs in and says "No I'm not"... My nephew says "Uhuh,, and points to his arm".. My neice then proceeds to slap my nephew in the face, and says to my nephew "There now I hit you" and looks at her mother and says "Okay,, now I can be in trouble." Mind you she is only 6 years old!!! Tooo funny!!!

My daughter is 4 years old, and my nephew is 4 years old.. They are best buddies. They had just gotten out of the pool and were drying off with their bathing suits off, and my nephew looks at my daughter and then at me and says "Aunt Heather,,, Bella broke hers" as he points to her privates.. I never laughed so hard.

My daughter calls her privates her coochie,, I have no clue why.. She goes to the OB with me and I had to have the doctor look at my private area.. As my daughter is talking to me up on at the front end of the bed ,, she says to me.. "Mommy, why is that doctor lady checking out your coochie.. The doctor literally laughed outloud it was soo funny..

One more:
My daughter (4 yo) asks me in front of my neice (6 yo) where do babies come from?? I go through the whole angels bring them down from heaven and so on.. My neice listens very carefully and my daughter is shaking her head as if she understands. My neice looks at me and says very plainly "Well that was a load of bullsh*t" and walks away with my daughter telling my daughter "They must think we're stupid".. Her mother and me were laughing soo harddd..

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by AnnasMom

So this morning, a man of Hispanic descent came to fix our carpets because they were coming up at the edges. He brought in this huge case which held the carpet stretcher and also, a hammer. My daughter immediately says "He's got tools, he's just like Handy Manny."

to me, that's not racists. she said he was like Handy Manny because of his tools, not his skin color

 

[annasmom]

Originally Posted by laureen227

to me, that's not racists. she said he was like Handy Manny because of his tools, not his skin color

Yes, but she watches a lot more Bob the Builder than Handy Manny and he carries tools as well. She's innocent and sweet and has now provided laughs for my entire extended family...

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Originally Posted by AnnasMom

Yes, but she watches a lot more Bob the Builder than Handy Manny and he carries tools as well. She's innocent and sweet and has now provided laughs for my entire extended family...

Don't worry, my boss' son reffers to one of his friends as 'my little brownie friend.'

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by SarahBeez

These are hilarious!

When we were younger my mom & aunts & all of the kids would stay at a hotel for a weekend- they would party and we'd play. Well my cousin Dean who was about 5 or 6 at the time smeared almost an entire tube of toothpaste allllllll over the bathroom mirror. When my aunt asked him why he did it, he said "WELL, the directions don't say NOT to!"

It was hilarious!

I like it! That's one of the best ever.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by angelkitty

One more:
My daughter (4 yo) asks me in front of my neice (6 yo) where do babies come from?? I go through the whole angels bring them down from heaven and so on.. My neice listens very carefully and my daughter is shaking her head as if she understands. My neice looks at me and says very plainly "Well that was a load of bullsh*t" and walks away with my daughter telling my daughter "They must think we're stupid".. Her mother and me were laughing soo harddd..

That's a very bright six year old!

 

[taterbug]

Well,my daughter sure made my jaw drop when she was five! We were at our local video store to rent a movie. The clerk,a young man was talking to a friend. My daughter,who has always been inquisitive and friendly,started a conversation with the two. She asked both guys if they were married and if they had any little girls. The clerk said no,BUT his friend said yeah..I do. Two little cuties just like you! Out of the blue my innocent babe said " Two little girls?? What are their names?" He told her and then she asks....are they black,too?? I about died on the spot!! He laughed and said yeah....they are!! All I could muster up was...oh well...KIDS!!!! I couldn't think at that moment to explain that one of her favorite songs was the "Jesus loves the little children" song!!!