If hubby is self-employed I assume he has a company name, etc? Have you investigated buying the house under the company name as a company asset rather than personal property?? Might be worth checking out.
Thanks for all the comments and suggestions everyone, and KF - I'd never thought of that!??! Good idea though!! However, thismorning I've had a call and its good news, there is a company that will DEFINATELY lend to us - all they need is a letter from my employer to say I've been employed for at least 6 months (which I have ...) and a letter from Hubby's accountant to say his business has been up and running for over a year - which it has..... apparently we have some forms to fill out and return tonight, and then we should be able to sign next week, so thankfully in the end, it doesn't look like it;s going to put us back that much.... phew....