Just need to type some stuff out. Kind of annoyed.
My brother asked me to go to the Pride Charlotte event today - I finally decided to make the 6 hour round trip drive to spend a couple hours up there - he and my mom were going, but my dad was staying home (they never invite him to do anything, though that's not something I'd really see him doing either). They didn't tell him I was coming, and I didn't call ahead to tell him so it'd be a surprise I was there, even if it was only for a few minutes to say hey before I went to Pride.
Things were interesting and fun at Pride, and I planned to leave around 4 to get home by 7ish. Around 3:45 my brother was up taking pictures of the drag queens, and my mom and I were resting our feet sitting on a granite artistic thing in the atrium area. She drops a "bomb" on me - she told me she intends to file for divorce from my dad sometime in the next week.
Now, I know things have been crap for YEARS. In 2002, she left for two weeks and took my brother and I with her. She told me today she thought moving to a new state would change things. 7 years later, that is not so, and she has no patience or desire to deal with my dad anymore. I'm not shocked about that really, though my grandma says she's 100% serious this time and plans to go through with it - yet finding the money for a lawyer is going to be hard for her as they struggle to pay their bills as it is.
I'm not all that upset by the idea of them divorcing, as I know they are both pretty miserable. I do think my dad still loves my mom, but things are not in happy order there. She says she has zero love left. They've been married for 27½ years, together for 35 years. All they do is complain about each other. Considering I have my own life here in SC (3 hours away) with my husband and 3 cats, it wont affect me as much as if I still lived at home and was younger. But I worry about my dad in all of it, what he'll do, where he'll live, how he'll deal.
My mom says she intends to keep the house, as its in her name. She told me my dad said he wont sign any divorce papers and will take her to/see her in court. He hadn't told me any of this stuff, I think my half-sister (his first marriage) knew about it because she asked me was going on down in NC. My grandma is surprised he hasn't told me either. I guess it's probably because he plans to make it long and drawn out. Kinda made me sad when my mom said he picked the only rose from their rosebush, put it in water next to her bed with a paper that said "I love you". She said she ignored it and that its too late, but I see it as at least he tries to show you he does care. She's been very negative toward him for years though, even when he tries to do nice things. I've always been closer with my dad than her - we never had a great relationship when I was growing up.
I knew something was up today when she was acting so nice to me, took interest in my pole stuff, and wanted to walk around with "my kids on each arm!"
Ugh, I was having such a good day, and right before I leave I get that dropped on me. Now I'm back home with my hubby and kitties and about to go on date night. Hope everything turns out well. My best friend says she thinks it will - I hope she's right.
My brother asked me to go to the Pride Charlotte event today - I finally decided to make the 6 hour round trip drive to spend a couple hours up there - he and my mom were going, but my dad was staying home (they never invite him to do anything, though that's not something I'd really see him doing either). They didn't tell him I was coming, and I didn't call ahead to tell him so it'd be a surprise I was there, even if it was only for a few minutes to say hey before I went to Pride.
Things were interesting and fun at Pride, and I planned to leave around 4 to get home by 7ish. Around 3:45 my brother was up taking pictures of the drag queens, and my mom and I were resting our feet sitting on a granite artistic thing in the atrium area. She drops a "bomb" on me - she told me she intends to file for divorce from my dad sometime in the next week.
Now, I know things have been crap for YEARS. In 2002, she left for two weeks and took my brother and I with her. She told me today she thought moving to a new state would change things. 7 years later, that is not so, and she has no patience or desire to deal with my dad anymore. I'm not shocked about that really, though my grandma says she's 100% serious this time and plans to go through with it - yet finding the money for a lawyer is going to be hard for her as they struggle to pay their bills as it is.
I'm not all that upset by the idea of them divorcing, as I know they are both pretty miserable. I do think my dad still loves my mom, but things are not in happy order there. She says she has zero love left. They've been married for 27½ years, together for 35 years. All they do is complain about each other. Considering I have my own life here in SC (3 hours away) with my husband and 3 cats, it wont affect me as much as if I still lived at home and was younger. But I worry about my dad in all of it, what he'll do, where he'll live, how he'll deal.
My mom says she intends to keep the house, as its in her name. She told me my dad said he wont sign any divorce papers and will take her to/see her in court. He hadn't told me any of this stuff, I think my half-sister (his first marriage) knew about it because she asked me was going on down in NC. My grandma is surprised he hasn't told me either. I guess it's probably because he plans to make it long and drawn out. Kinda made me sad when my mom said he picked the only rose from their rosebush, put it in water next to her bed with a paper that said "I love you". She said she ignored it and that its too late, but I see it as at least he tries to show you he does care. She's been very negative toward him for years though, even when he tries to do nice things. I've always been closer with my dad than her - we never had a great relationship when I was growing up.
I knew something was up today when she was acting so nice to me, took interest in my pole stuff, and wanted to walk around with "my kids on each arm!"
Ugh, I was having such a good day, and right before I leave I get that dropped on me. Now I'm back home with my hubby and kitties and about to go on date night. Hope everything turns out well. My best friend says she thinks it will - I hope she's right.