Originally, we had started planning a wedding for 120-ish people and we started the planning in August for this May. Needless to say, due to financial reasons, we just sort of put everything on hold. Well, just maybe within the past week or so, we talked some things over and decided to cut the guest list to like 30 people MAX and go with April instead of May as things will be cheaper as it is considered off-season. In August, we had 3 attendants each lined up.
Problem 1: with a small wedding in a bed and breakfast, I really don't WANT three attendants EACH. Room is an issue..cost is an issue (attendant gifts, etc.). Do I need attendants?
Problem 2: My original maid of honor. I thought that maybe it WOULD be helpful to have one attendant each plus our flower girl who is five. I thought that it would only be natural to keep then my maid of honor. Well, I didn't say anything to her about any new plans or anything about attendants except that I did send her email telling her that we cut the guest list to 30 and moved the date. She came back with email that was ONLY "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" I answered her and told her that it was for financial reasons and this is what we wanted to do. I haven't heard ANYTHING from her back about this or the wedding or ANYTHING. Mind you, when we talked about going to Vegas before THIS, she thought it was WONDERFUL and she was for that. Today, she two-wayed me on the Nextel wanting to know what Roger and I were doing today. She wanted to get together for football and dinner. Nothing mentioned about this wedding. My mother thought it was pretty rude of her to not even respond back about ANYTHING wedding related REGARDLESS. I kind of am offended, too.
So now...I don't know what to do. I realize that it is MY wedding and I can do what I want, but it isn't very good ettiquette to choose one of the other attendants to stand up instead of her, is it? I am not into burning bridges or losing friendships over this!
Please help!
Problem 1: with a small wedding in a bed and breakfast, I really don't WANT three attendants EACH. Room is an issue..cost is an issue (attendant gifts, etc.). Do I need attendants?
Problem 2: My original maid of honor. I thought that maybe it WOULD be helpful to have one attendant each plus our flower girl who is five. I thought that it would only be natural to keep then my maid of honor. Well, I didn't say anything to her about any new plans or anything about attendants except that I did send her email telling her that we cut the guest list to 30 and moved the date. She came back with email that was ONLY "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" I answered her and told her that it was for financial reasons and this is what we wanted to do. I haven't heard ANYTHING from her back about this or the wedding or ANYTHING. Mind you, when we talked about going to Vegas before THIS, she thought it was WONDERFUL and she was for that. Today, she two-wayed me on the Nextel wanting to know what Roger and I were doing today. She wanted to get together for football and dinner. Nothing mentioned about this wedding. My mother thought it was pretty rude of her to not even respond back about ANYTHING wedding related REGARDLESS. I kind of am offended, too.
So now...I don't know what to do. I realize that it is MY wedding and I can do what I want, but it isn't very good ettiquette to choose one of the other attendants to stand up instead of her, is it? I am not into burning bridges or losing friendships over this!
Please help!