Just moved plus dog introduction issues

[lilblu]

My grandparents just moved into a new house where they will be living with their daughter and son-in-law and their three pets (two cats and a large dog), plus an obnoxiously loud child. The three cats that my grandparents have are familiar with the other two cats as they've lived together before, but they don't like them.

The three cats, however, have not lived with a large dog before. They've only lived with a very small dog that's smaller than them. They've seen this particular dog before, but they've not lived or interacted with it.

I suggested that they keep the three cats in their bedroom for at least a couple of days or until they're interested in venturing out of the bedroom. I also suggested that they not introduce or even allow the dog to be seen by the cats until the cats have explored and feel comfortable in the rest of the house. That could be two weeks or so.

Yet, here it is on these cats' second day and already the daughter is trying to introduce the dog to the cats in the bedroom. I got upset and said it's too soon and then an argument broke out and the daughter (my aunt) is a bossy know-it-all who says it's fine. My grandparents are more inclined to listen to me, but at the same time, they have trouble saying NO to their daughter as they don't like conflict.

I'm certain I'm right about this introduction stuff, at least about the taking it slow parts. Is there anything I can do or print out for them to prove they're moving too fast for the cats? I should point out that the cats are between 10-15 years old and one has stage 2 to 3 CRF and another has Idiopathic Chylothorax, the third one is super skittish. Any suggestions? Normally, I would mind my own business, but I think it's better for the cats to do things properly. I think it's less stressful and they will get along better with the dog if the introduction process is done slowly. Since I'm the one that often takes the cats to the vet and is involved with their health decisions, I feel like I should be involved in this.

 

[lilblu]

Doesn't anyone have any advice? If I'm wrong about how to do the introduction please tell me, I won't get upset or anything. I just want what's best for the cats.

 

[evakatharina]

I think you're definitely in the right wanting to give the cats a chance to get comfortable, and to make sure that they are introduced to the big dog in a way that doesn't scare the living daylights out of them!  I think you should hold your ground on this for the sake of the kitties.

 

[lilblu]

I have just been informed that one of the cats is marking in the bedroom. They don't know which cat and they can't find where the cat did anything, but they can smell it. I'm inclined to think it's the grumpy cat with the UTI, but everyone thinks it's the neutered male. I don't know why the cat is marking, except that I'd probably mark stuff too if someone kept me locked in a room 24 hrs a day and didn't pay attention to me.

 

[minka]

No, you are right. The cats should be kept separated for at least a week, and then introductions should only start as smell. A blanket or other item from each animal shared with each of the other animals until everyone's smells mix. Then sight only, then mild introductions where both animals are controlled and then finally free-roaming for all.

Is the UTI cat being treated? If not, the peeing everywhere will continue...

 

[lilblu]

So here it is about 4 1/2 months later and the cat (Red) is still having issues. Plus, there are/will be issues with another cat in the future (continue reading).


Red spends the majority of his time hiding under the bed. When I go to visit, I'll talk to him and he'll eventually come out after a minute. I'll give him attention as I suspect no one else is paying much attention to him. Once he hears the dog coming, he goes right back under that bed.

My grandma says that Red has been out into other rooms, but everytime I go over he's under the bed. Since grandma practically lives on her couch, I'm not sure she even knows what she's talking about. On the two occasions that I saw Red in another room, he hurried back down the hall and under the bed as soon as he heard the dog coming. This brings me to the big problem.

I have one of my grandparents' cats living with me because the previous place they lived had pet limit rules. They're ready for me to bring her over to their house. I am 98% certain that this other cat (Mouse) is going to be more terrified of the dog than Red is. Mouse is a very skittish cat, whereas Red is a very laid back cat. If Red is terrified of the dog, then Mouse is going to be beyond terrified, and I'm worried for her. I am certain that she will be very miserable. Maybe she might be willing to venture out in the house, but she's still going to be afraid and neurotic. I can picture exactly how she will behave. Every movement and everywhere she goes in that house (if she chooses to come out from under the bed) will be based on where that dog is. She'll run around neurotically with a wild and petrified look in her eyes (I've seen it before, it's from fear).

Grandma is also talking about letting her go outside. If that cat is afraid of being indoors with the dog, then letting her outside is probably not a good idea. For one thing, the dog also goes outside and is allowed to roam around off a leash. The dog will most likely scare Mouse outside too. The second thing is that Mouse might become so afraid that she runs away and never comes back. No matter what, I am almost 100% certain that Mouse will be unhappy living with my grandparents and that dog, and the kid.

I feel like the best thing for Mouse is to just leave her with me where she's happy. I've known this cat since she was a kitten (she's around 11 y/o now) and she's happier living with me than she ever was with my grandparents. When she lived with them they let her go outside (which she loved), but I don't. Despite that, she is so much calmer and happier living with me, and she's no longer neurotic like she used to be. For the first time in years, she's getting attention and lots of it. She's getting groomed/petted and she's getting to play and have toys that can be left out all the time to play with (grandpa always picked the toys up off the floor).

I just can't see why anyone would want to make their cat live somewhere where it was afraid and unhappy. I understand that my grandparents miss Mouse and want her to come home, but they're putting themselves before the cat. I'd rather my cat be happy and living elsewhere than to be miserable and living with me.


Thoughts? I'm not going to stand in the way of whatever my grandparents ultimately decide, but I'd like to know what others think I should do. I just want what's best for Mouse, whatever that may be. My grandparents are only interested in what they want. The cat's feelings haven't even crossed their minds.

 

[carolina]

Clearly, without a doubt, I would just keep the kitty.... With you, of course.... I would not return her to the grandparents....
And I would go a step further, if you can, of course, and try to get poor Red :heart3: out of there too.... That's no way to live.... That poor kitty

 

[just mike]

Clearly, without a doubt, I would just keep the kitty.... With you, of course.... I would not return her to the grandparents....
And I would go a step further, if you can, of course, and try to get poor Red

out of there too.... That's no way to live.... That poor kitty

I am afraid I have to agree with your advice Carolina. An unfortunate situation all around but getting the two out of that environment will be the best thing but that is just my opinion.

 

[sevenwonders]

lilblu, any news?

If there is still any time for decisions, I agree with Carolina and Mike -

not only would I keep Mouse, I'd do everything I could to get Red out of that situation as well.

Surely, your Grandparents should be able to understand that Red is miserable.

Thank you for trying to help them do what is best for the Kitties!