I'm really sorry about your loss. I know the hurt that you feel and the wondering if there was something else you could have done, I did the same thing when we lost Chip in January. When we lost Chip it was devastating to me and my husband. I just felt numb and lost for a long while afterward. I went over and over in my head about his illness wondering if we did everything right and I was lucky enough to have a vet that really cares and tried so hard to save him but he had FIP and she couldnt save him. Its like losing a member of the family, and I think all of us here understand what you are going through. Bartee was very lucky to have someone like you and your husband to take care of him and you did everything you could to help him. Just wanted to let you know your in my thoughts.