Jealousy causing negative behavior

[joang71]

I will try to make this as simple and short s possible. I agreed to take in 2 cats  because the owners boyfriend has cat allergies. I am a retired senior.

The 2 cats have been together since they were young. Both spayed females. The older cat has had stress issues because the owner had her grown daughter take them for awhile before coming to me, and apparently there was a dog in the home, and the dog was causing problems. The

first day they came to me the older cat showed hostility towards me, hissing and striking out at me, where the younger cat took to me immediately.

The older cat is Calico and the younger Russian Blue.  The younger cat follows me around, and sleeps with me every night. She has a wonderful

disposition, and is affectionate.  I see what has happened; when the owner had them, she worked every day so the 2 cats had their togetherness.

I am home every day with them so the bond between them ceases to exist, and the bond with me increases with the younger one. My impression

of the older one's actions from day one, is that something negative in the home before mine  caused her nasty behavior. I have had cats over

several years, but never under these circumstances. I did not give one more attention, than the other, but one accepted it more readily.

Of note is that the younger one has a cauliflower ear, and I don't have the answer as to what caused the injury. When brought to me, the owner

had to carry the older cat in a towel, as she freaks out otherwise. I am a patient 71 year old who loves cats, but this is wearing me down.

I feel with every passing day the barrier widens with these 2.  I am aware these things take time, but at my age...

Long nails hurt when they strike you.   I feel I did more harm than good taking them in. The former owner's boyfriend is a dog person, and they

now have a dog in their home, so I don't see a return to them in the picture.

Thanks for comments . They will be received gratefully.   Joan

 

[margd]

It would probably be very helpful for you to try one of the calming agents available on the market.  One of the most popular is made by Feliway ( http://www.feliway.com/us/#redirected )  and is available as a spray or as a diffuser.  It works by emitting a compound based on a cat facial pheromone that cats emit when they are happy and content.  Although it doesn't work on every cat, many of our members swear by it.  The diffusers are expensive, however, but the prices on amazon are said to be among the cheapest.  Another thing to be aware of with the diffusers:  they only cover 700 -900 sq ft so you might need more than one.

Another calming aid is Composure, which is available as treats and as a liquid to mix into food or water.  

You can also get a calming collar for the aggressive cat.  They are also based on pheromones - the theory is that since the cat's nose is closer to the source and the cat receives a constant level of the agent, they are especially effective.  A word of warning about these:  they may be covered with a powder that gets everywhere, some have a very strong odor and not all collars are break-away for safety.

Many of our members have had great success with the homeopathic remedies available from Bach and Spirit Essences.  Because these are homeopathic, there is controversy about their effectiveness but people do report success using them so you might be interested in checking them out.

http://www.spiritessences.com/

http://www.bachflower.com/rescue-remedy-pet/

Some people have success actually making calming teas for their pets, using chamomile, valerian or hops.  A word of warning about valerian - it can also excite cats so it might not be the best choice.

I believe most, if not all of these products are available on amazon with numerous reviews to help you in your research.  There are other calming agents as well - this is just a place to start.

Hopefully one of these agents will help.  As a very last resort, you might consider discussing a short course of anti-anxiety medications with the vet for the aggressive cat.  The medications are the same ones used on humans.  See the article below:
[article="30323"]Anti Anxiety Medication For Cats  [/article]
I would recommend trying one of the available calming agents, however, before going the medication route.

Good luck with this.  It is always frustrating when you are trying to do the right thing and it ends up causing such trouble!  

 

[joang71]

thanks so much. Joan