Jealousy and excessive attention seeking

[brina]

So I have a couple of issues. I adopted a 10 month old Calico named Cai in November of 2013. She is now 2 years old. I already had my boy, Shadow, who just happens to be 3 months older than Cali. That is right, I have two 2 year olds.

Cali was a rescue and was found outside an acerage right before she was found and given to the rescue. She has been through a lot. She was 10 months, pregnant and had a upper respiratory infection. Due to stress and another infection in her uterus, her babies ended up aborted by her a day after coming into rescue. She had an emergency spay after that and was vaccinated, etc. She came to me after all that.

Ever since she has come home to me, she became a little jealous of her new brother. It wasn't an issue because she calmed down quickly and those two are now very close that you would think they came from the same litter. In the last 4 months, she has slowly gone back to being jealous of Shadow. It seems to be getting worse everyday. With this behaviour is also her excessive need to be loved constantly. If I ignore her, she excessively meows but does give up after like a half hour. As for the jealousy, after giving her lots of love and attention, I will go to Shadow so he doesn't feel left out. Once I start petting him she rubs my hand with her head, which is on Shadow, rubbing Shadow in the process of pushing him away with her head and body. At this point, Shadow feels his space is overly violated and he turns and walk away.

Then tonight, something else came up. I feed them a half can of wet can food every other day. They each get the food on their own plate. I do this because Shadow can thinks that if it is all on one plate, it is all his. I did this to also squash any jealousy. So Cali Surprised me a little. She started to eat her food then 2 min later she pushes Shadow away from his food and proceeds to eat off his plate. I had to redirect her back to her plate. Few minutes later, Shadow repaid that gesture by doing the same to her. Pay back lol. So ao had to redirect him.

I don't know if this is normal with a multiple cat household to have jealousy like this. I don't know if Cali is feeling insecure so she feels like she needs so much attention that she will do anything to get it. I don't know, I just have noticed that her need for more attention has become a little excessive and with her jealousy, she has become rude with Shadow. Good thing Shadow cares about her to much to lash out at her when she does push him away from me.

I know this is long lol. I like to get it all out there. I am wondering if anyone has any ideas for her change in behaviour and if there is anything, at home, I can do to make her feel like she gets the attention she needs and to make her not feel so jealous of Shadow.

 

[shadowsrescue]

A great way to build confidence in a cat is to play with them.  The satisfaction of hunt,kill and eat builds self esteem in cats.  You can try the da bird toy or other wand toy and really get your cats moving.  Try playing with them separately first and then together if they want to.  Also laser pointers work well.  You want the cat to really move.  Jump high in the air to catch the toy (what is on the end of the wand).  This will really tire the cat out.  Let her catch it and "kill" it every once and awhile.  When the play session is over, reward with a yummy treat.  When cats are in the wild, they hunt, play, kill and then eat.  By giving them a treat at the end of play, it satisfies their urge to eat their kill. 

You can also try some flower essences.  Jackson Galaxay has a great line called Spirit Essences.  I believe their is even one for jealousy.  The flower essences work slowly and are not a miracle or over night "cure".  They gently change the energy vibration of the cat.  They usually start to work within 2 weeks, but may take up to 6 weeks.  You can add the drops to their wet food, water bowl, place a few drops on their fur and also mist it around the room. 

 

[brina]

That's the interesting thing though. I play with her daily with a laser toy at night, Shadow is uninterested in it so it is like our moment together. Even though she has these jealousy issues with Shadow, they chase and play with each other at least 3-4 times a day. She also will take any toy in the house and play with it on her own. It is funny to watch because she will throw it up into the air and catch it and do that over and over. The excessive attention seeking happens usually in the morning after I wake up. Because of things Shadow does, they aren't allowed in my room at night or at all really so when I do come out of the room, they both need attention. Cali gets it first, then Shadow. After about 15 min each of giving this attention, I go on with my day but Cali will continue to want to be petted. She will meow and rub me so then I have to stop what I am doing and give her more attention or she will meow and meow. I eventually have to move on with my day. If she continues to meow, I ignore it.

I will try the flower essences and see if that can calm her down a bit. Just want my girl to be happy and feel secure in her life.