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My "family" again...
Some background:
1. I have 3 older brothers: I'll call them BRO, Bill and Joe. In 2005, had argument with Mom @ family Xmas party. SIL and BRO treated DH & I badly over SIL's sister, who had hurt DH & I. Family took our side, until that night. Argued with Mom after SIL & BRO were rude to DH; Mom sided with them. Told her I didn't like that, & she should act like my mother for once (she was very passive-aggressive, BTW). Patched up with Mom; the rest haven't spoken to me since then. They will not even say "Hi" to me when they see me; they shoot me a dirty look, & walk past. Have exlcuded me from all family news, celebrations, etc. since then. Have 1 brother (who wasn't at the fight) who still speaks to me (we'll call him Bill).
2. Mom died last June. She had moved in with Bill & his wife, after I left home to marry in 2004. Spoke to Bill on the phone a few times in the days after.
3. Bill told me Mom had stuff for me to pick up, but "Not now." He wasn't ready yet; told me it'd be at least 1 month; he'd call me. I suggested a family cook-out to honor Mom; he said he'd ask the others. Also said he'd call when we were to mix Mom/Dad's ashes. Two days after this, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis, and was sick for a few weeks. Hard to chat on the phone...Bill is in a wheelchair, so it didn't surprise me it would take so long to hear from him, as he gets sick often, etc.
4. Wondered why Bill hadn't called; was worried. Sent a letter in an Xmas card to him, asking him to call, visit, email, etc. and about Mom's estate (other brother, Joe, is the executor, and does not speak to me).
Ok, here's today's news: DH was home today; he's been bugging me to call Bill about what's going on. I had the feeling that Bill was not speaking to me now, so I suggested DH call him--Bill & he get along nicely. Sorry I suggested that--Bill screamed at DH (I was at work); he's angry about my letter at Xmas (admitted he didn't read the letter until January). He also, like Mom, said I should apologise to SIL & BrO, above, and I was wrong. Don't know how he knows this--he wasn't there, and won't let me explain it to him. He tore into DH for 45 minutes. He also lied to him, saying he had called DH's cell phone, left messages on the home phone--which we know he did not--one can tell. Mom used to lie about this to me, as well, a number of times. He also knows nothing about how Joe is handling Mom's estate. I realize that creditors must be paid out of Mom's estate, but someone should be keeping me, as an inheritor, informed. I have a copy of her will, BTW.
He also told DH that I abandoned Mom when I got married. I took care of her for over 30 years; they're MUCH older than me, and had their own lives. Where were they THEN? Who do they think gave up her life to stay with Mom? Mom often used guilt to make me live with her. I put my life on hold out of love and guilt, especially after Dad died in 1999. Mom didn't need physical care, BTW--even in her last days, at age 85. She stopped driving, due to "nerves" in 1978, so she needed someone to drive her places.
This family has a REAL problem. They really don't want to hear from me because they love me. They use phone calls & the lack thereof, as a power thing. Mom did it, & now Bill's doing it. I'm am fed up with these morons. I don't know if I EVER want anything to do with them ever again. They can shove it.
I now have a huge headache...
Some background:
1. I have 3 older brothers: I'll call them BRO, Bill and Joe. In 2005, had argument with Mom @ family Xmas party. SIL and BRO treated DH & I badly over SIL's sister, who had hurt DH & I. Family took our side, until that night. Argued with Mom after SIL & BRO were rude to DH; Mom sided with them. Told her I didn't like that, & she should act like my mother for once (she was very passive-aggressive, BTW). Patched up with Mom; the rest haven't spoken to me since then. They will not even say "Hi" to me when they see me; they shoot me a dirty look, & walk past. Have exlcuded me from all family news, celebrations, etc. since then. Have 1 brother (who wasn't at the fight) who still speaks to me (we'll call him Bill).
2. Mom died last June. She had moved in with Bill & his wife, after I left home to marry in 2004. Spoke to Bill on the phone a few times in the days after.
3. Bill told me Mom had stuff for me to pick up, but "Not now." He wasn't ready yet; told me it'd be at least 1 month; he'd call me. I suggested a family cook-out to honor Mom; he said he'd ask the others. Also said he'd call when we were to mix Mom/Dad's ashes. Two days after this, I came down with a bad case of bronchitis, and was sick for a few weeks. Hard to chat on the phone...Bill is in a wheelchair, so it didn't surprise me it would take so long to hear from him, as he gets sick often, etc.
4. Wondered why Bill hadn't called; was worried. Sent a letter in an Xmas card to him, asking him to call, visit, email, etc. and about Mom's estate (other brother, Joe, is the executor, and does not speak to me).
Ok, here's today's news: DH was home today; he's been bugging me to call Bill about what's going on. I had the feeling that Bill was not speaking to me now, so I suggested DH call him--Bill & he get along nicely. Sorry I suggested that--Bill screamed at DH (I was at work); he's angry about my letter at Xmas (admitted he didn't read the letter until January). He also, like Mom, said I should apologise to SIL & BrO, above, and I was wrong. Don't know how he knows this--he wasn't there, and won't let me explain it to him. He tore into DH for 45 minutes. He also lied to him, saying he had called DH's cell phone, left messages on the home phone--which we know he did not--one can tell. Mom used to lie about this to me, as well, a number of times. He also knows nothing about how Joe is handling Mom's estate. I realize that creditors must be paid out of Mom's estate, but someone should be keeping me, as an inheritor, informed. I have a copy of her will, BTW.
He also told DH that I abandoned Mom when I got married. I took care of her for over 30 years; they're MUCH older than me, and had their own lives. Where were they THEN? Who do they think gave up her life to stay with Mom? Mom often used guilt to make me live with her. I put my life on hold out of love and guilt, especially after Dad died in 1999. Mom didn't need physical care, BTW--even in her last days, at age 85. She stopped driving, due to "nerves" in 1978, so she needed someone to drive her places.
This family has a REAL problem. They really don't want to hear from me because they love me. They use phone calls & the lack thereof, as a power thing. Mom did it, & now Bill's doing it. I'm am fed up with these morons. I don't know if I EVER want anything to do with them ever again. They can shove it.
I now have a huge headache...
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