Today marks the one-month anniversarry of the day that our oldest cat, Max, passed away. We found him dead in our living room on the morning of November 17th. We have no idea what killed him. He was totally fine the night before when we went to bed. The next morning, he had passed away. He was quite overweight and we couldn't get him to lose weight no matter what diet or exercise we tried with him. He was also inbred, with his parents being brother and sister, so it could have been some sort of congenital anomaly that just finally took it's toll on him. He would have turned 7 on Christmas day. We had him since he was a tiny kitten. I miss him so much it hurts. He meant so much to us. He had the best personality and just loved everyone. He was a true Garfield. Not ever knowing what killed him is tearing me up and making me feel so incredibly guilty. I feel like I failed him somehow and wonder if I could have prevented his death. He didn't even show any signs of being ill and wasn't even acting the least bit strange.
Last night in the middle of the night, something VERY strange happened. I woke up around 5 AM from a deep sleep in a complete panic. I was short of breath, sweaty, and my arms and mouth felt tingly. I was having a full-blown panic attack, which has NEVER happened to me before in my entire life. The first thing that I thought when I woke up was, "Oh my god..where's Max?!?! I never saw him yesterday!" I jumped out of bed and started turning lights on, going from room to room searching for Max. I then snapped right out of it when I saw our new cat, Abby (who we adopted after Max died), sleeping under our Christmas tree in the living room. I was totally shaken up and couldn't get back to sleep. My DH was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him, so I went into the guest bedroom and lied in bed and cried for the first time in 3 weeks. I have no idea why this happened and I think it's very strange that it happened EXACTLY one month to the day since he died. Maybe it was the NyQuil I took before going to bed for my cold. I just don't know. I think about Max constantly and miss him so much. I have been doing a lot better over the last 2 weeks or with coming to accept the fact that he is no longer with us and I will never know what killed him, but what happened last night just freaked me out. I think I may have been having a dream about Max right before I woke up, but I really can't remember. Has anything like this ever happend to anyone else before? Please tell me I'm not crazy!
Last night in the middle of the night, something VERY strange happened. I woke up around 5 AM from a deep sleep in a complete panic. I was short of breath, sweaty, and my arms and mouth felt tingly. I was having a full-blown panic attack, which has NEVER happened to me before in my entire life. The first thing that I thought when I woke up was, "Oh my god..where's Max?!?! I never saw him yesterday!" I jumped out of bed and started turning lights on, going from room to room searching for Max. I then snapped right out of it when I saw our new cat, Abby (who we adopted after Max died), sleeping under our Christmas tree in the living room. I was totally shaken up and couldn't get back to sleep. My DH was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him, so I went into the guest bedroom and lied in bed and cried for the first time in 3 weeks. I have no idea why this happened and I think it's very strange that it happened EXACTLY one month to the day since he died. Maybe it was the NyQuil I took before going to bed for my cold. I just don't know. I think about Max constantly and miss him so much. I have been doing a lot better over the last 2 weeks or with coming to accept the fact that he is no longer with us and I will never know what killed him, but what happened last night just freaked me out. I think I may have been having a dream about Max right before I woke up, but I really can't remember. Has anything like this ever happend to anyone else before? Please tell me I'm not crazy!