Is This a Good Way to Handle Gossip?

[clairebear]

I don't really see how immediately telling someone what theres gossip going around about them, is going to help? That just adds fire to it, because obviously the person is going to retaliate by starting gossip about the person that gossiped about them. I think a better alternative is just to shrug off gossip that you hear. Most times it's not true, and telling someone about it will only hurt thier feelings.

 

[tierre0]

I think whether you tell someone gossip you've heard about them should really be a judgement call based on several factors.
How well do you know the person the gossip is about.
Is the gossip really damaging or is it just general fluff.
Do you believe it or not.
And most importantly exactly what will be gained by telling them.

Most gossip is hear-say, rumor, or out and out lies.

I usually just ignore most of it and my favorite response if someone say someone said something about me is.

Well at least they are not gossiping about someone who cares.

 

[luckygirl]

Originally Posted by GingersMom

I think that going to the subject of the gossip and "tattling" on the gossiper is actually a great way to cause trouble for people and definitely leads to hurt feelings.

I used to have a "friend" that would make it a point to tell me the things that people were saying about me behind my back. Telling me that never did a single positive thing for me, but sure made that "friend" feel superior.

I agree Betsy! You can stop someone from gossiping to you another way, you say "oh I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable knowing this kind of information" and then you are turning it around & making them feel uncomfortable.

 

[yosemite]

I also assume this potential friend would throw gasoline on a fire to try to put the fire out.

You see, that's where I find this whole thing confusing. Gossip is ONLY gossip if it gets repeated. If everyone would stop repeating it, it dies, ergo no gossip!

By her repeating it to ANYONE is keeping it going so she's adding fuel to the fire as one poster said. Besides, she may be hurting the person she's tattling to. But again, as a couple other posters have said, maybe that was her hidden underlying intent. There are some people who present a sweet, innocent face who are dark and nasty underneath.