- Joined
- Apr 21, 2014
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I've been reading many of the posts on this site, and I'm amazed by the sense of community! Bravo to all you caring, patient, loving feline lovers. I am in desperate need of some advice. I grew up having cats and waited until my adult life settled down a bit before making the long-term commitment of getting my first forever friend. I adopted a two year old cat named Cashew from the humane society 15 days ago. In the shelter Cashew was a very calm cat, but seemed to enjoy being pet (would lean into it and nuzzle my hand) and would play a bit when prompted with toys (not extremely energetic, but engaged and not fearful) and he ate just fine while I was with him in the cat room. Before we adopted him they let us know he came from a hoarding situation of 20 cats and made some comments about "being amazed at his progress," but didn't seem to have any concerns that he wouldn't adjust to a new home, and since he liked being pet and played with, it didn't even cross my mind that he might be semi-feral if he was in a hoarding situation.
Well, it's been two weeks now and he has only come out from under the couch once while I was in the room. When we got him home he bolted under the living room couch, and he only comes out to eat/drink/use the litter box at night. Our apartment is small and I do not have a spare, unused room that would be suitable as a bonding room. Our bedroom has too many nooks and crannies that he could get seriously stuck in, and my boyfriend who I live with didn't agree with using the bathroom as a safe room since we shower/go to the bathroom in there, so we let him out in the living room that also connects to the kitchen and entrance hallway. I've been reading up on every possible way to help a cat adjust to a new home and have been diligently following the advice -- sitting on the floor, reading to him, playing soft music, making sure he knows I am the one who is feeding him by making a production out of it, put his food bowls on top of a shirt that has my smell so that he associates me with food, getting a Feliway diffuser, etc. So much of what I read says it may take up to a week for a cat to come out of hiding, but now that its been over two weeks I'm starting to get seriously concerned. When we brought Cashew home he did not make a peep the entire hour-long car ride, and has not made a sound since (except for his collar that I can sometimes hear jingling while I am in the room at night). My boyfriend picked him up once to move him the first day (his original hiding spot was right next to our apartment door), and he did not put up any sort of fight. My boyfriend set him in the litter box to show him where it was and he ran from there straight under the couch. I try not to peak under there, but have unintentionally made eye contact a few times.
He did come out of hiding once while I was in the room, but it's now been over a week since that happened. I was lying on the floor with my back to him reading, and he scampered out and ate a bit. I was careful not to move a muscle or acknowledge that he was in the room. He then scampered into the kitchen which was in my eyeline for a few seconds before returning back under the couch. I am not even sure if he knew I was in the room when he came out. I should also note that as far as adjusting goes, I now realize how loud and scary my apartment must be. The floors creak when you walk, as do the doors, you can hear others in the hallway or above us (no one is particularly loud, you just hear that they're there) and the is sometimes construction noises during the day (we live in a Boston neighborhood that's undergoing a lot of new construction/renovations). We try to be as quiet and calm in the apartment as possible and haven't been watching tv, but since it's small there's really no way for us to keep him from the loud cooking, shower noises, etc.
So, please give me advice. Do Cashew sound like a feral cat or is still within the normal hiding timeframe? I know the lines can be blurred between what's feral and what's not (to my knowledge he's lived indoors his entire life, but I have read that some hoarder cats can be feral if they had no human attention), and realize at this point that it's going to be a much longer and slower adjustment period than I anticipated, but I'm just really confused since he seemed like a friendly cat in the shelter. Any advice or insight is extremely appreciated -- I'm trying to be patient and not worry but I broke down crying today and just feel very disheartened. I am committed to Cashew no matter what, and accept that he may never be a lap cat, but want some more opinion on what I am dealing with. I am trying to follow up with the shelter to get some more info on exactly how long it took him to adjust there, but they are not staffed at regular times (all volunteer), so it's been hard to get in touch.
Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!
-Erin
Well, it's been two weeks now and he has only come out from under the couch once while I was in the room. When we got him home he bolted under the living room couch, and he only comes out to eat/drink/use the litter box at night. Our apartment is small and I do not have a spare, unused room that would be suitable as a bonding room. Our bedroom has too many nooks and crannies that he could get seriously stuck in, and my boyfriend who I live with didn't agree with using the bathroom as a safe room since we shower/go to the bathroom in there, so we let him out in the living room that also connects to the kitchen and entrance hallway. I've been reading up on every possible way to help a cat adjust to a new home and have been diligently following the advice -- sitting on the floor, reading to him, playing soft music, making sure he knows I am the one who is feeding him by making a production out of it, put his food bowls on top of a shirt that has my smell so that he associates me with food, getting a Feliway diffuser, etc. So much of what I read says it may take up to a week for a cat to come out of hiding, but now that its been over two weeks I'm starting to get seriously concerned. When we brought Cashew home he did not make a peep the entire hour-long car ride, and has not made a sound since (except for his collar that I can sometimes hear jingling while I am in the room at night). My boyfriend picked him up once to move him the first day (his original hiding spot was right next to our apartment door), and he did not put up any sort of fight. My boyfriend set him in the litter box to show him where it was and he ran from there straight under the couch. I try not to peak under there, but have unintentionally made eye contact a few times.
He did come out of hiding once while I was in the room, but it's now been over a week since that happened. I was lying on the floor with my back to him reading, and he scampered out and ate a bit. I was careful not to move a muscle or acknowledge that he was in the room. He then scampered into the kitchen which was in my eyeline for a few seconds before returning back under the couch. I am not even sure if he knew I was in the room when he came out. I should also note that as far as adjusting goes, I now realize how loud and scary my apartment must be. The floors creak when you walk, as do the doors, you can hear others in the hallway or above us (no one is particularly loud, you just hear that they're there) and the is sometimes construction noises during the day (we live in a Boston neighborhood that's undergoing a lot of new construction/renovations). We try to be as quiet and calm in the apartment as possible and haven't been watching tv, but since it's small there's really no way for us to keep him from the loud cooking, shower noises, etc.
So, please give me advice. Do Cashew sound like a feral cat or is still within the normal hiding timeframe? I know the lines can be blurred between what's feral and what's not (to my knowledge he's lived indoors his entire life, but I have read that some hoarder cats can be feral if they had no human attention), and realize at this point that it's going to be a much longer and slower adjustment period than I anticipated, but I'm just really confused since he seemed like a friendly cat in the shelter. Any advice or insight is extremely appreciated -- I'm trying to be patient and not worry but I broke down crying today and just feel very disheartened. I am committed to Cashew no matter what, and accept that he may never be a lap cat, but want some more opinion on what I am dealing with. I am trying to follow up with the shelter to get some more info on exactly how long it took him to adjust there, but they are not staffed at regular times (all volunteer), so it's been hard to get in touch.
Thank you in advance to anyone who replies!
-Erin
