Is My Cat Becoming A Bully To His Sister?

[Yanaka]

Ive had them since they were young and they were raised normally: no early separation from the mom and they love each other. Never separated from each other either. They are one year old now. But recently the boy has started to play really rough, including when he plays alone. He does weird noises (a sort of “ka!”) to his toys, runs till he pants, gets really excited and crazy. He also sleeps a lot so it’s not like he’s crazy all day. But the worst part is that he seems super dominant towards his sister. A while back he started sniffing her butt pretty seriously and embarrassingly and sometimes had to sniff while she was using the litter box. I tried not to intervene out of discomfort but now he does it more and she seems really annoyed. He looks like he bites hard and he doesn’t stop when she hisses loudly and growls. He places himself on top of her and really pins her down. She lets herself fall from the cat tree if there is no escape and hides.

She doesn’t look that terrified because if I isolate the brother in my room she looks for him. But I don’t know what to do with his energy and lack of manners. The only thing that has changed was us moving to a smaller apartment but he started the rough playing before that. He’s also gotten a lot bigger than her over time so he might be hard to handle for her.

I hope this doesn’t keep getting worse. The sister is already pretty shy and tricky to get to eat, and I need to spend more and more time getting her out of her shell and play, purr, be herself.

Can anybody help me feel better? Thanks.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Is she spayed? Is he neutered?
Taling care of that is your first order of business, if not.

 

[Yanaka]

Hi, friend. After so many posts of mine I thought you’d remember me! of course they are.

 

[Furballsmom]

Oops I didn't, I'm embarrassed now lol!
Umm, when is the last time you had Crazy-boy in to the vet?

 

[Furballsmom]

Do you have a yard? Can you harness train him?

 

[Yanaka]

No worries! Hahaha.
Crazy Salmon has been to the vet quite a few times for random issues that turned out to be caused by hair balls. Last time was a few months ago. They’re both due for their vaccines and a check-up anyway, just need to choose the right vet.

 

[Furballsmom]

What about a cat exercise wheel?

 

[Yanaka]

Do you have a yard? Can you harness train him?

Oh that’s interesting. I don’t have a yard but there is grass around the house. I’m worried they will want to escape though, because I have a swing-door in my kitchen that leads right outside to a fire escap-ish wooden stairs! I was thinking about adding another big cat tree but the issue might stay the same if he preys on his sister for play...

 

[Yanaka]

I wonder if he gets stimulated by seeing squirrels and birds and bugs now in this new place (moved from Philly to small Jersey town). I have screens on the windows and they spend their days watching critters. There is roof directly underneath the windows with a tree and squirrels hangout too. It’s funny to watch the cats!

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh, I'll bet youre right, the outside critters are super enticing for him!
Harness training him, an exercise wheel, and
I've read sometimes it helps to try and get the victim cat more confident, through more playtime specific to her, that sort of thing...

 

[Yanaka]

Uff. I’ll try, especially the confidence thing for the sister. Why can’t she just swat him good and send him to school? Lol

 

[Furballsmom]

LOL
If she won't hiss at him, could you, when he needs it?

 

[Yanaka]

I also run after him all over the apartment, he loves that. But I’m worried I might be increasing his needs to play... is there some kind of rough age again when they get older? Like another adolescence?

 

[Yanaka]

LOL
If she won't hiss at him, could you, when he needs it?

I do! He obeys pretty well to my angry voice and sometimes i also hiss very loudly. But then he starts again and tries to be sneaky

Because she really is vocal and asks to stop so I jump in

 

[Furballsmom]

I didn't really think so, but this sure sounds like another round of teenage angst.

I think keep at it, he does need more manners

 

[calikitteh]

thanks for starting this thread, i am having the exact same problem. the sister wants to play but the brother doesn't get the hint when she squeals or hisses at him. she is recovering from her spay and i'm having to separate them when he gets too rambunctious.