Is grooming a good sign?

[emilesc]

Hello -

It's been 11 years since I last posted, when I was having problems with my very first cat adjusting to a new kitten. Since then, that elder cat has passed away, and the kitten is now a senior cat.

I'm posting again because I have a similar issue with the now-senior cat and a new kitten I adopted. I wasn't planning on getting another cat, but after the first one passed away, the one left behind grew very lonely and needy. She is a sweet Maine Coon mix who mostly sleeps and doesn't play much.

Unfortunately, the new kitten, a 4 1/2 month old calico, has turned out to be an extremely rambunctious kitty who wants to play all the time, and has grown aggressive in trying to get the older cat to play with her. She pounces on the older cat constantly, and the older cat won't fight back. She's turned into a bundle of nerves. Spaying the kitten has only minimally helped the situation.They couldn't be more mismatched.

There are occasional moments of peace. At night, the kitten has sometimes tried to cuddle with the older cat, but because their relationship is so tense, the older cat usually whines and moves somewhere else. I'm being as patient as I can about getting the kitten to stop pouncing on the older cat, mostly by telling her to stop, or blocking her flight pattern, or using 15 minute time-outs when she's really out of control. And I give both cats treats during the rare moments when they can pass by and sniff each other without things turning into a major incident.

And I think today we had a breakthrough. While resting on the bed, the kitten groomed the older cat, who allowed her to do so for a full minute. Usually when the kitten so much as brushes against her, the older cat whines and runs away.

Unfortunately, 10 minutes after I gave them treats, the kitten pounced again. But I'm pretty encouraged by the grooming. My question is, should I be? Is this a hopeful sign that they'll eventually live in peace? Or is it nothing to get too exited about? I'm really hoping for the former.

Thanks,

Emile

 

[raintyger]

Sounds pretty good to me, especially if the older cat let her at sensitive areas like the neck or belly. 4.5 months is still pretty young. I remember we got our cat at 5 months. For the first couple of weeks she was running around the house chasing unseen "fairies" (insects maybe???). After that she calmed down, but still was quite active until about 1 year old.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

It sounds like a start to me too!  I would try to give the kitten several really good play sessions every day to help her spend some of that kitten energy.  It's likely it won't spend it all; but it may help.  I do think most kittens are very active for the first year to year and a half for some.  Do you have a cat tree or somewhere else that your senior kitty can go to get away from the little one for a while? 

 

[emilesc]

Thanks for your replies, I'm relieved! She only got to groom the older cat's head and ears, but it makes me happy!

I brought the kitten in when she was 2 months old, and I think that was way too young. And I didn't know that calicats have a reputation for being particularly rambunctious. She's been about ten handfuls.

I'm at work during the day, but I've been playing with her in the morning and at night. We have a cat tree, but part of the problem is that the kitten follows the older cat everywhere. If she's on the bed, she pounces. If she's on the cat tree, she pounces. If she's looking out the window, she pounces. If she's retreated to the closet, she pounces.

I do think it's getting better, though. Last night we managed to get through the entire night without the kitten pushing the other one out of the bed. :::knocks wood:::

 

[emilesc]

BTW, these are the kitties. Zora, named after Zora Neale Hurston, and Allie Cat. As you can see, Allie is thrilled to have Zora cuddling up to her. 

11179090583_d632decfd6_b.jpg

• emilesc
• Jan 30, 2014

 

[emilesc]

This is an old thread, but I wanted to share a breaktrhough. A few months ago, Zora, the calico, was chasing after the older cat, Allie as she often does, and I had the idea to pick up Zora and hugged and pet her until she calmed down. That really did the trick. She doesn't like to be held for very long because she's so active, so after a while, she'll cry for me to put her down. But the 15-30 seconds she lets me hold her is just long enough to keep her from pouncing on Allie again.

And I've been doing that ever since. It's worked like a charm consistently. I don't think they'll ever be buddies, but things are far more peaceful between them at home.

Emile

2014-06-12 13.28.59.jpg

• emilesc
• Jan 22, 2015

 

[raintyger]

That's great! It may not be convenient all the time, but I can think of worse solutions than hugging and petting your kitty. They're cute, too.

 

[emilesc]

 
That's great! It may not be convenient all the time, but I can think of worse solutions than hugging and petting your kitty. They're cute, too.

Thanks, Raintyger! I'm so glad I stumbled on a positive solution.

Emile

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Aww look at them!

That's awesome you found something so simple that works!  Thanks for the update!