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Hello! I posted this same thread on the Stray/Feral board, but figured it's also relative to behavior so maybe someone here has some advice.
About a month and a half ago, we noticed a little Tortie hanging around on our deck. The first couple days she ran away if we tried to go outside. Then, all of a sudden, she came immediately to my 12 year-old daughter when she went out to talk to her. She wasn't dirty or matted, but she was skinny as a rail. I thought she couldn't be more than about 7 months old at the time. The fact that she came to my daughter and then to me, did the whole rubbing/nuzzling thing and let us pet her seemed to indicate she was either a neighborhood pet that wandered or a kitty who had been lost or abandoned. I resisted feeding her at first because I didn't want her to keep hanging around our house if she already had a home. Eventually, we couldn't stand it anymore because she was out there all the time and we started feeding her. We built her a little outdoor shelter and regularly fed, watered and interacted with her. About a week after we made her the shelter, she was attacked in the middle of the night by a large male. I ran out and chased him off and she was unhurt but terrified to the point of peeing all over herself, her bed, and me. That was the last straw for me - I brought her inside and kept her in our bathroom for a couple weeks. Eventually, she transitioned to my daughter's bedroom which is bigger and has windows and is much more comfortable for her.
We already have four cats - all rescues: three 14 year-old siblings and one 8 year-old. The three siblings we rescued as tiny kittens from our garage when their mother abandoned them, so we're pretty much all they've ever known. The 8 year-old was a rescue from a shelter. All of them are pretty easygoing and were clearly aware of the new addition, but curious more than anything. I wouldn't let her near them or share any of their stuff because I didn't know whether she'd been exposed or infected with anything that she could pass on to them (i.e., FLV, FELV, rabies, etc.). I wasn't sure what to do because I didn't really have the money to invest in spaying and vaccinating a cat I wasn't sure we could keep. Long story short, we finally did exactly that about a week and a half ago.
We had been keeping them all separate but letting Bambi (the stray) out in the house to stretch her legs and explore when the other kitties were upstairs sleeping behind a closed door. She was out one evening and one of the other cats got out and came downstairs to get something to eat and Bambi went after her like the Tasmanian Devil. I chased them down and had Bambi stopped at the foot of the stairs while my other poor kitty escaped upstairs. I didn't have a water bottle near me and was just scared for my other babies, so when Bambi started up the stairs, I, foolishly, acted on instinct and reached down to grab her. Well, you can imagine what happened next. Four bite wounds, dozens of scratches, a round of antibiotics and two weeks later, I'm healed up, but her aggression toward the other cats still concerns me.
She's almost two weeks post-surgery, feeling fine and behaving beautifully when she's in the house alone with us. She plays, she mews, she lets us pet her. But, as soon as she sees one of the other cats, she's devil kitty. Someone from a rescue agency in the area told me that many of her behaviors are hallmarks of the Tortie breed and suggested I get a kennel and put her in the middle of everything and just let her stay there until she can be civil when she's out. Well, we're trying that and it's not going swimmingly. We've even let her out a few times with one and then two of the older cats (one female and the male). They clearly had a conversation with her and she has steered clear of actually attacking them but is certainly very on edge and appears to be biding her time. She did go after the "patriarch" last night from behind and he set her straight, though not before losing a bit of fur. Side note, he's double-pawed and has a full set of 24 claws in his arsenal.
The one time we let her out with the two older ones and the youngest, Smudge, it wasn't 30 seconds before she charged Smudge and attacked. I sprayed her and she ran but he didn't stand up to her at all. In fact, the older female, seemed to get mad at Smudge for not standing his ground (he's declawed BTW, came to us that way). He such a sweetheart and it's breaking my heart that he's being bullied by this little snot ball. If she'd give him a chance, I would bet good money they'd be best friends since they are very much alike (he's a black cat) in personality and playfulness.
I know this process takes a while. But she's been in our house almost two months now and I'm running myself ragged trying to avoid death and destruction while taking care of all of them AND my family. My daughter would be heartbroken (as would I) to give her up, but I'm seriously thinking that might be the best thing for her and for us. She would probably do very well being the only pet in a household. On the other hand, I also have this idealistic vision of all of them being friends and my house being peaceful again. I don't want to continue to restrict her young life, but I cannot compromise the quality of my other cats' lives, especially at the advanced age of three of them.
I've tried the homeopathic sprays and drops (Safe Space, Nature's Miracle) that are supposed to calm kitties down and none of them seem to work. I've tried feeding them in front of one another with her in the cage and the others a safe distance away so they all understand there's no need to fight over food and they can get used to being near each other. They don't share litter boxes, water or food bowls. Nothing has worked. We're all gone most of the day with work and school, so it feels wrong to keep her closed up in a bedroom with only a couple hours out to roam around when we get home.
I just don't know what to do. If someone can give me some advice or a glimmer of hope that it's just going to take time, I'd really appreciate it. I know no one has a crystal ball, but I've never had to deal with anything like this and I'm frazzled. My husband says we should just let her out and let them deal with it themselves, but I'm worried because the younger one doesn't seem inclined to fight back at all and the older two she's met, while they are certainly in charge, are getting very frail and I'm scared she could cause them to break a bone or worse, if she were to engage them in a battle. The last one of the the older three already has serious nervous issues, so I really think she might have a breakdown having to deal with Bambi. No joke.
Any help will be more than appreciated!
About a month and a half ago, we noticed a little Tortie hanging around on our deck. The first couple days she ran away if we tried to go outside. Then, all of a sudden, she came immediately to my 12 year-old daughter when she went out to talk to her. She wasn't dirty or matted, but she was skinny as a rail. I thought she couldn't be more than about 7 months old at the time. The fact that she came to my daughter and then to me, did the whole rubbing/nuzzling thing and let us pet her seemed to indicate she was either a neighborhood pet that wandered or a kitty who had been lost or abandoned. I resisted feeding her at first because I didn't want her to keep hanging around our house if she already had a home. Eventually, we couldn't stand it anymore because she was out there all the time and we started feeding her. We built her a little outdoor shelter and regularly fed, watered and interacted with her. About a week after we made her the shelter, she was attacked in the middle of the night by a large male. I ran out and chased him off and she was unhurt but terrified to the point of peeing all over herself, her bed, and me. That was the last straw for me - I brought her inside and kept her in our bathroom for a couple weeks. Eventually, she transitioned to my daughter's bedroom which is bigger and has windows and is much more comfortable for her.
We already have four cats - all rescues: three 14 year-old siblings and one 8 year-old. The three siblings we rescued as tiny kittens from our garage when their mother abandoned them, so we're pretty much all they've ever known. The 8 year-old was a rescue from a shelter. All of them are pretty easygoing and were clearly aware of the new addition, but curious more than anything. I wouldn't let her near them or share any of their stuff because I didn't know whether she'd been exposed or infected with anything that she could pass on to them (i.e., FLV, FELV, rabies, etc.). I wasn't sure what to do because I didn't really have the money to invest in spaying and vaccinating a cat I wasn't sure we could keep. Long story short, we finally did exactly that about a week and a half ago.
We had been keeping them all separate but letting Bambi (the stray) out in the house to stretch her legs and explore when the other kitties were upstairs sleeping behind a closed door. She was out one evening and one of the other cats got out and came downstairs to get something to eat and Bambi went after her like the Tasmanian Devil. I chased them down and had Bambi stopped at the foot of the stairs while my other poor kitty escaped upstairs. I didn't have a water bottle near me and was just scared for my other babies, so when Bambi started up the stairs, I, foolishly, acted on instinct and reached down to grab her. Well, you can imagine what happened next. Four bite wounds, dozens of scratches, a round of antibiotics and two weeks later, I'm healed up, but her aggression toward the other cats still concerns me.
She's almost two weeks post-surgery, feeling fine and behaving beautifully when she's in the house alone with us. She plays, she mews, she lets us pet her. But, as soon as she sees one of the other cats, she's devil kitty. Someone from a rescue agency in the area told me that many of her behaviors are hallmarks of the Tortie breed and suggested I get a kennel and put her in the middle of everything and just let her stay there until she can be civil when she's out. Well, we're trying that and it's not going swimmingly. We've even let her out a few times with one and then two of the older cats (one female and the male). They clearly had a conversation with her and she has steered clear of actually attacking them but is certainly very on edge and appears to be biding her time. She did go after the "patriarch" last night from behind and he set her straight, though not before losing a bit of fur. Side note, he's double-pawed and has a full set of 24 claws in his arsenal.
The one time we let her out with the two older ones and the youngest, Smudge, it wasn't 30 seconds before she charged Smudge and attacked. I sprayed her and she ran but he didn't stand up to her at all. In fact, the older female, seemed to get mad at Smudge for not standing his ground (he's declawed BTW, came to us that way). He such a sweetheart and it's breaking my heart that he's being bullied by this little snot ball. If she'd give him a chance, I would bet good money they'd be best friends since they are very much alike (he's a black cat) in personality and playfulness.
I know this process takes a while. But she's been in our house almost two months now and I'm running myself ragged trying to avoid death and destruction while taking care of all of them AND my family. My daughter would be heartbroken (as would I) to give her up, but I'm seriously thinking that might be the best thing for her and for us. She would probably do very well being the only pet in a household. On the other hand, I also have this idealistic vision of all of them being friends and my house being peaceful again. I don't want to continue to restrict her young life, but I cannot compromise the quality of my other cats' lives, especially at the advanced age of three of them.
I've tried the homeopathic sprays and drops (Safe Space, Nature's Miracle) that are supposed to calm kitties down and none of them seem to work. I've tried feeding them in front of one another with her in the cage and the others a safe distance away so they all understand there's no need to fight over food and they can get used to being near each other. They don't share litter boxes, water or food bowls. Nothing has worked. We're all gone most of the day with work and school, so it feels wrong to keep her closed up in a bedroom with only a couple hours out to roam around when we get home.
I just don't know what to do. If someone can give me some advice or a glimmer of hope that it's just going to take time, I'd really appreciate it. I know no one has a crystal ball, but I've never had to deal with anything like this and I'm frazzled. My husband says we should just let her out and let them deal with it themselves, but I'm worried because the younger one doesn't seem inclined to fight back at all and the older two she's met, while they are certainly in charge, are getting very frail and I'm scared she could cause them to break a bone or worse, if she were to engage them in a battle. The last one of the the older three already has serious nervous issues, so I really think she might have a breakdown having to deal with Bambi. No joke.
Any help will be more than appreciated!
