Introduction Mistake.... help!?

[rosewelsh]

I have a skittish 7 year old cat who has always been an only cat because where I've lived I couldn't have two. Now I'm in my own house and have just recently realized that his peeing problem was because he was bored and lonely. So, the moment I figured this out last Saturday I ran onto a cat rescue at the local Petco. I found a very sweet calico female, 4 years old (Sunshine is my cat, he's male) and I took her home.

He used to be a very friendly cat until I bought a large show cage for him after my Mom got two Cocker Spaniels from a rescue and put him in it. At the time I thought it would make him feel safer (come to find out that was a BIG mistake). He was so frightened and territorial that he pooped in his cage bed and lay in it. Needless to say the cage was returned and the cat never went back. Prior to this incident he love to visit "Grandma's" and ride in the car. He loved to ride in the pouch in my chest and go to art fairs and go on long road trips etc. Then... I goofed and now he's very skittsh and easily frightened.

And I wrote all that to tell you this: he's lonely and curious, but the introduction to the new kitty went sour. For five days I kept her in my bathroom with a big walkin closet. If I was in the bathroom and readily available I'd leave the door open and let them sniff at each other, hiss, growl etc. After five days he was letting her out into the bedroom to sniff without much fuss. I took her to the vet that day and had her checked out and get her shots. She has a clean bill of health so I let her roam the house that night. Things were going OK (minor hissing and growling), then she started defending her bathroom and things got a little tense. When they wouldn't stop growling and hissing I put her in the bathroom for the night.

I reopened the bathroom the next morning (Saturday) and she defended it again so I moved her food water and box out and closed the room to anyone but me. That seemed to work fine: minor hissing and growling but he allowed her to eat from his food dish and pee in his box. He even ate with is back turned away from her. Then around noon we had a minor power struggle; no claws, just a big show of power. She walked away and I think that told him that he was boss... it also scared him. He started hiding under the chair more and not letting her pass from the kitchen into the living area. But with a little coaxing I showed him it was OK. He let her through and there was minor hissing and growling the rest of the night.

Then she decided the next morning to reassert herself by attacking him from above. There was no major fighting, but he did end up on his back in a defensive position before she walked away. This scared him big time and took any little trust he had away.

Where would you all go from here...? Please help. I want to have a happy, loving multi species family. How to I help them learn to trust each other when all their interactions come from fear? GAH!

Rose aka Very Sad Kittymommy

PS I'm seriously thinking about starting the introductions all over again after another few days having her in the bathroom only. I just don't want to make him think that she's not allowed in the house by putting her back in the bathroom. What should I do??????

 

[the_food_lady]

I would considering getting some Feliway Plug-in Diffusers (if you're in the U.S., they sell them pretty cheaply on Amazon.com). They sell them at pet supply stores like Petsmart, too. Put one on each level of your home. Takes a few weeks to work. Helps stressed kitties.

Sometimes in situations like these, where there's just growling and hissing and nothing more, you just gotta let 'em work it out between them. Best to do it when you're around so you can really see how they interact. If there's any concern about major aggression/fighting, I'd not leave them to roam while you're not home.

Try getting a bag of treats...sitting down in the middle of the floor and giving each treats....petting each......getting them more accustomed to being in the same room.

I have 5 indoor cats. I always found, over the years when rescuing a new cat, that it was the females who generally had the bigger issue with the newbie. Some females are just snarky that way and would be moreso if used to being the only cat. I suspect in time your 2 will get along fine and you'll be looking back on this and marveling.

 

[rosewelsh]

I installed a Feliway defusor Thursday. It's not seemed to make a bit of difference in the short run. Why does it take so long to work? And do you think that after two weeks it might just be that they got used to each other and not the Feliway? It's expensive stuff!

The male's been the only cat for seven years. She was with many indoor cats for four years and even had come to the shelter with one of her littermates.

I'm worried that slowly the fights are getting a little more scary. So I guess we'll go back to letting her have her room and only leting her out when I'm home. Then again, I'm thinking that they need a break from each other for a few days too. But I'm worried that I'm thinking anthropomorphically and that the best thing would be to let them be out in the same house. GAH!

I've tried playing with them with the same string... no dice. He's too scared of her.

The treat thing won't work because he doesn't do well eating treats. He regurgitates them almost immediately no matter how much he likes them. And I've tried getting him treats that would be better for him and might not make him sick, but he turns his nose up at them. GAH!

 

[rad65]

I think the vet visit might have been a catalyst. Cats hate the vet smell, so that already scared your male. Add on that the cats already weren't on the best of terms, and you have two scared cats fighting, hissing, and spitting at each other. I think starting over with intros would be a good idea.

 

[rosewelsh]

I know it seems like the first response was enough, but I'd like others to tell me about their experiences or point me to threads or blogs of others who've lived through a similar experience. My nerves are as much on edge as my cat's and it's getting to the point where I don't know if I can handle the stress of integrating an only cat (for seven years who is also very skittish) and a four year old friendly, but very much a hissy territorial cat. In fact, I'll start a new thread for this.