Introduction didn't go well

[apnelson]

I've had Myri for two weeks now and am finally starting to try introducing her to Rodney. She snuck out of her room when I was going in and out a few times. The first two times, Rodney hissed at her, but the third, he just sort of followed her warily. I've also noticed that when I'm upstairs, Rodney spends quite a bit of time just on the other side of the door to Myri's room, so I was hoping it was time to let them spend time together.

The last few days I've shut Rodney in his room and let Myri have run of the house for an hour or so.

This morning, I took Rodney into Myri's room and from the second he jumped out of my arms, he was hissing at her and batted her a couple times.

After that, I shut Rodney in Myri's room for an hour and let her have run of the house, but I was hoping to get to the point where I can give them both run of the house in the near future, even when I'm at work. What's the next step?

One thing I'm wondering about is whether it would be a good idea to put Myri in my pet carrier and set it in the same room I'm in so they can see each other without being able to touch.

 

[feralvr]

You are already doing everything right. Letting Rodney and Myri investigate eachother room's separately. Carrying Rodney into Myri's room was a bit too much for him and if he jumped out of your arms, he was already in a slight panic mode. The hissing/batting is pretty common. I would not carry one or the other to meet. Let them go in or out of the room on their own. You can start to just leave Myri's room open for a bit when you are home and supervise by just standing near. Rodney will probably venture into her room quickly since he already knows she is in there

. Or Myri will venture out of her room on her own since you already have let her investigate the rest of the house without Rodney around. Allow this interaction for short durations only. Eventually, you will be able to leave her room open all day and then all night. But not if you rush things. let the cats tell you how much and how quickly they will accept each other. It could be immediate, or take many days of these short sessions.

I would not use the pet crate for Myri now. She already has had the run of the house without rodney around and she might take great offense to you doing that to her. Could backfire IMO. You are following the right process for slow introductions. You have to expect some hissing/swatting and maybe some growls in the initial intros. This is normal behavior and once they are used to the "smell" of each other..... then things will progress fast.

 

[luvzmykatz]

I always have good luck doing that. They will hiss and stalk each other for awhile. Cats hate change and will fight it so just go slowly. I kept my apart for two weeks. After a week I switched rooms so they could get used to the other scent then slowly putting them in the same room for short periods of time slowing increasing the time after while I was there observing but not interfering. They have to work through it on their own. As long as you don't see fur fly or blood things are probably going fine. It usually takes a least a month sometime 6 months but usually after a month most cats get on fine. Oh and give the old cat more attention so he knows he's still important to you and will be more accepting of the new comer.

 

[apnelson]

Originally Posted by Feralvr

You are already doing everything right. Letting Rodney and Myri investigate eachother room's separately. Carrying Rodney into Myri's room was a bit too much for him and if he jumped out of your arms, he was already in a slight panic mode. The hissing/batting is pretty common. I would not carry one or the other to meet. Let them go in or out of the room on their own. You can start to just leave Myri's room open for a bit when you are home and supervise by just standing near. Rodney will probably venture into her room quickly since he already knows she is in there

. Or Myri will venture out of her room on her own since you already have let her investigate the rest of the house without Rodney around. Allow this interaction for short durations only. Eventually, you will be able to leave her room open all day and then all night. But not if you rush things. let the cats tell you how much and how quickly they will accept each other. It could be immediate, or take many days of these short sessions.

I would not use the pet crate for Myri now. She already has had the run of the house without rodney around and she might take great offense to you doing that to her. Could backfire IMO. You are following the right process for slow introductions. You have to expect some hissing/swatting and maybe some growls in the initial intros. This is normal behavior and once they are used to the "smell" of each other..... then things will progress fast.

What I'm worried about for them meeting in the open house is that for these initial sessions, I want to keep a close eye on them and I won't be able to keep up with them if (for example), they run downstairs.

 

[feralvr]

Originally Posted by APNelson

What I'm worried about for them meeting in the open house is that for these initial sessions, I want to keep a close eye on them and I won't be able to keep up with them if (for example), they run downstairs.

Can you close off the downstairs? If not, then you would have to bring Rodney into Myri's room and close the door. Rodney might not like being "closed" off in Myri's room though, even with you in there supervising. Although, that is what I did when I was socializing a feral and doing slow intros with my cats. I would spend time in her (the feral's room) and when one of my cats wanted in, I would open the door a little and let them come in and shut the door behind them. If at anytime, my resident cat became upset with the door being closed, I would open it up and let that cat back out. AND nine out of ten times that same cat would come back to the door again, and meow and scratch to be let back in with me and the feral girl. So, I would let the resident cat back in and back out. Until such time as my resident cat spent more and more time in that room with the feral cat and me. It really worked well that way. Maybe just go in Myri's room and wait for Rodney to come to the door to be curious and want in.

 

[apnelson]

I decided to give open house a shot and it went OK for the most part. There was some chasing and fighting, but I'm not sure how much of it was actual aggression and how much was playing. Is there an easy way to tell the difference?

 

[speakhandsforme]

As long as there isn't fur flying or blood spewing, it should be okay. They need time to establish their relationship to one another, and some rough playing will be part of that.

However, I wouldn't leave them alone in the same room while you're gone for a few more days just to be sure.

 

[ducman69]

From my experience, playing cats are generally quiet cats. They may go through the motions, but won't make noises.

If you hear cries, moans, or hissing, then its real.

 

[apnelson]

Well, after a couple things I've noticed today, I have a new theory. I saw Rodney grooming Myri a bit, so it doesn't seem like he's being intentionally aggressive toward her. I think he just doesn't realize that when she runs away or yowls it probably means that she doesn't want to play any more.

From what I saw a couple times when I had to split them up, I'm worried that Myri might be starting to be afraid of Rodney because of that.

 

[suri]

I don't have a lot of experience, but from the one time I had I only kept my cats apart for a couple days, I thought they would never bond, they would growl, hiss and just freak out. But after the couple of days I let the door open they did the same thing, never any fighting though. They were afraid of each other not aggressive expect the cat who was home first she was defensive its to be expected since it was her territory first. So there was a few batting that is why a squirt bottle comes in handy to better control the situation. So after a couple days of letting them loose in the house together, they became friends all that craziness stopped completely and its now 2 weeks since then, I have 2 happy healthy kitties who love playing around with each other. I guess I was just lucky.

 

[apnelson]

I'm starting to get worried. They can both have the run of the house for an hour or so, but then inevitably Rodney starts wrestling around when Myri isn't interested and she starts yowling.

I got Myri to keep Rodney company, but after almost 3 weeks I still can't always have them together when I'm home, much less when I'm at work.

 

[apnelson]

I left them both out yesterday without any seeming ill effects, but when I'm around, at times they wrestle around to the point where Myri starts yowling.  One thing I noticed when they were close enough that I could see what was going on, it looked like Rodney licked near her ear a few times, then bit.  He's done similar things to my arm or knee when sitting on my lap before.  What can I do to deter this kind of behavior?  

I got Myri to keep Rodney company so he wouldn't get in as much trouble, but it's causing me more headaches than ever.