Hello. I am new to this site and these forums (well, I'm a new member- I have read many articles and bits of advice here in the past), and I am hoping some of you can give me some advice about a problem I am having. My husband and I live in a fairly small apartment and we currently have five cats. When we got our first place together, ten years ago, we thought we'd adopt two cats (so they'd have companionship when we were not home) and that would be it. Well, over time, a lot changed... we both grew up in suburban areas, so we had never experienced the massive cat overpopulation problems in a major city. We started out trying to help some strays but really weren't doing the best job of it... we've recently started doing some work with rescue groups and have learned A LOT more about these issues and hopefully are now doing a better job of helping.
So a little background on our household- we have five cats- all neutered males. We moved into this apartment with three of them (along with a fourth who passed away a year ago)- one is a ten year old male (Joey) that we adopted way back in our first apartment, two are three year old males (Little Bit and Chin Chin) that were the kittens of a stray we had cared for. The two younger ones are brothers and are extremely closely bonded and spend all of their time together. About a year and a half ago, after one of our cats passed away, we met a stray that was like her clone (a male clone, but still almost identical to her in personality and appearance- he'd even been ear-tipped, despite being a friendly cat, as she had at some point). We'd never seen him before she died and we really felt like she'd sent him to us. He checked out as a healthy guy of about seven years old, was already neutered, and he fit right into our little family. So for almost a year, we were doing very well with our four boys. All four are extremely laid-back and get along great. We often slept with all four in the bed with us, snuggling with us and with each other. I was so pleased at how well they had accepted our newest addition, Socks. He was a bit shy- god knows what he had been through on the street or in his previous home- but warmed up quickly, although he often needs reassurance that we love him as he is a bit of a sensitive guy. Anyway, throughout this time, we had many other strays come along that we were feeding. We got involved with some rescue groups who helped us to scoop up or trap most of them and get them vet care, neutered (every stray we've had has been male for some reason), and placed into foster homes and then, hopefully, into forever homes.
Well, a few months ago we had two strays around the same time... one was a male kitten and one was an older male who was in bad shape. The older guy looked awful- he was so skinny we thought there was no chance he'd make it... his fur was falling out, he was just a disaster. We slowly nursed him back to health- he had totally given up, it seemed, as he wasn't even really interested in eating, whereas the other strays we've had all seem to gobble down any food they're given. We had to coax him to eat, sit with him and pet him to get him to finish a can of food. Finally he started putting on weight and his fur was growing back and it was shiny and he looked healthy. Around this time, the kitten showed up so we contacted a rescue group about both cats. Both were taken to the vet to be checked out and neutered... it turned out our older guy had been neutered long ago but had a lot of dental issues, which explained his reluctance to eat. Our cats seemed to really like the kitten but were not sure about the older cat, so we told our rescue friend that we could foster the kitten once he was fixed if she could find a home for our older friend. She thought that was a bad idea and said it was much easier to find a home for a kitten and that the other cat would be very hard to adopt since it turned out he was 12 years old and had dental problems and would need meds and surgery. Plus, he was used to being outside so she didn't want him relocated to an area that he was not familiar with so she asked us to keep him permanently. My husband and I discussed it and agreed that the old guy deserved a second chance and thought he wouldn't be much trouble. So El Gato Negro (or just Gato for short- he's all black, of course- we suspect he is a Bombay, actually) became the fifth member of our family.
And he turned out to be A LOT of trouble! As I said above, the other four boy got along great as they all had laid-back personalities and never fought. They were also all used to other cats coming and going as we've had so many strays come and go over the years. We don't love it, but they all go outside (the two older ones were used to that so the two younger ones wanted to do the same as they got older and were miserable being stuck inside, tearing up the house, so we gave in and let them start going out) so they have plenty of space, which I think is helpful in a multi-cat household. Our apartment has a private entrance onto a backyard filled with trees and attached to other yards with the same, so they have space to play (away from the road) even though we live in the city. I assume their presence outside is what attracts the strays. So yeah, we thought Gato would be a fine addition as he was older and spent plenty of time outside as well. And he was ok at first, but once he really got his strength back and got his mouth healthy again, his true personality came out. He is a total alpha male. My cats aren't used to this because none of them are particularly dominant, there really is no "leader," but now Gato wants to be the leader. He is ultra-confident and acts like this house is his and his alone. He does not like to share and has created many problems as he often chases the other cats away from their food bowls and from us. Sometimes he will finish eating but lay in front of the dishes so that the other cats can't come along and eat the rest of the food. Multiple dishes don't really help as then he just prowls from dish to dish! We are so, so happy that this sickly thin cat has been nursed back to health and become such a beautiful, confident, strong cat (he is all muscle and a great hunter- you'd never know he was 12). He is extremely affectionate and has the loudest, strangest purr we have ever heard- and he is particularly attached to me and follows me everywhere and wants to sleep on my head and constantly be petted. So he's not a "bad" cat in any way- but he has some problems.
Even with the aggression and dominant behavior, we were doing ok. We were making headway in getting him to change his behavior and helping all of the cats get along. But then we discovered another problem. I had been telling my husband for months that I thought I smell cat pee in the house and he told me it was all in my head. I LOVE cats, obviously, but one thing I will NOT tolerate is having a cat pee/spray smell in my home. I just am not ok with going out smelling like a cattery or having guests come into our house and smelling that. I always had pets growing up, cats and dogs, and there was NEVER an animal smell in our home- my mom made sure of that. So that's something that is a dealbreaker for me- any bad animal smells. So it turned out the smell was not in my head as a few weeks ago we caught Gato backing up to the trash can and spraying on it!! I was floored! I didn't know that neutered cats were able to spray or that they had any interest in spraying. I've since done research and found out that they can and do spray. But I'm still surprised and confused because we've never had a cat do that- not any of the cats I had as a child or any that I've had as an adult. I mean, we've had cats do it before they were neutered, but never after. And I can't understand why, of all five cats, it is Gato who is doing it! The others are the ones who have had a big change with Gato moving in... but they haven't changed their behavior. Gato in no way seems anxious or stressed- honestly, he just seems like he's being a jerk!! Like he wants to claim the house as his when it's obviously not!
So what do I do?? I want to honor the commitment I made to this cat, but I can't have a cat spraying in my house. A few days ago he backed up to a chair in my bedroom and sprayed on it and my shoes! I can't supervise him whenever he's in the house, but I also don't want to leave him outside all of the time. I spoke to my rescue friend who initially asked us to keep him and her response is that that's just what alpha males do and that you can't change their behavior. That's not an acceptable answer for me because we want to work with him so he can stay with us. He obviously had a tough life and we want him to spend his remaining years in a loving home. However, we don't have a lot of money and can't afford tons of special cleaners and calming collars and plug-ins and sprays and vet visits and cat prozac.... or replacing the things he destroys. It's already a big expense to feed and care for five cats with basic stuff... and additional stuff like monthly doses of Advantage (that's more than one box a month!). I've read suggestions about Feliway.... and we could probably afford to try it, but I certainly can't afford to add it to our monthly expenses. My priority here is to understand WHY Gato is spraying in our house... and what we can do, behaviorally, to help him stop doing it. Is there a way we can change our behavior towards him? At this point, when we see him doing it, he gets yelled at and then put outside for a "time-out." We're not sure what else to do.
If someone could give us some advice, I'd be extremely grateful. We've seen the results of people dumping their pets all too often- we want to do whatever it takes to avoid becoming one of those people. We want to help Gato and keep our household peaceful and smelling fresh! Thanks SO MUCH to anyone who took the time to read all of this... I know it's long.
Jennifer
So a little background on our household- we have five cats- all neutered males. We moved into this apartment with three of them (along with a fourth who passed away a year ago)- one is a ten year old male (Joey) that we adopted way back in our first apartment, two are three year old males (Little Bit and Chin Chin) that were the kittens of a stray we had cared for. The two younger ones are brothers and are extremely closely bonded and spend all of their time together. About a year and a half ago, after one of our cats passed away, we met a stray that was like her clone (a male clone, but still almost identical to her in personality and appearance- he'd even been ear-tipped, despite being a friendly cat, as she had at some point). We'd never seen him before she died and we really felt like she'd sent him to us. He checked out as a healthy guy of about seven years old, was already neutered, and he fit right into our little family. So for almost a year, we were doing very well with our four boys. All four are extremely laid-back and get along great. We often slept with all four in the bed with us, snuggling with us and with each other. I was so pleased at how well they had accepted our newest addition, Socks. He was a bit shy- god knows what he had been through on the street or in his previous home- but warmed up quickly, although he often needs reassurance that we love him as he is a bit of a sensitive guy. Anyway, throughout this time, we had many other strays come along that we were feeding. We got involved with some rescue groups who helped us to scoop up or trap most of them and get them vet care, neutered (every stray we've had has been male for some reason), and placed into foster homes and then, hopefully, into forever homes.
Well, a few months ago we had two strays around the same time... one was a male kitten and one was an older male who was in bad shape. The older guy looked awful- he was so skinny we thought there was no chance he'd make it... his fur was falling out, he was just a disaster. We slowly nursed him back to health- he had totally given up, it seemed, as he wasn't even really interested in eating, whereas the other strays we've had all seem to gobble down any food they're given. We had to coax him to eat, sit with him and pet him to get him to finish a can of food. Finally he started putting on weight and his fur was growing back and it was shiny and he looked healthy. Around this time, the kitten showed up so we contacted a rescue group about both cats. Both were taken to the vet to be checked out and neutered... it turned out our older guy had been neutered long ago but had a lot of dental issues, which explained his reluctance to eat. Our cats seemed to really like the kitten but were not sure about the older cat, so we told our rescue friend that we could foster the kitten once he was fixed if she could find a home for our older friend. She thought that was a bad idea and said it was much easier to find a home for a kitten and that the other cat would be very hard to adopt since it turned out he was 12 years old and had dental problems and would need meds and surgery. Plus, he was used to being outside so she didn't want him relocated to an area that he was not familiar with so she asked us to keep him permanently. My husband and I discussed it and agreed that the old guy deserved a second chance and thought he wouldn't be much trouble. So El Gato Negro (or just Gato for short- he's all black, of course- we suspect he is a Bombay, actually) became the fifth member of our family.
And he turned out to be A LOT of trouble! As I said above, the other four boy got along great as they all had laid-back personalities and never fought. They were also all used to other cats coming and going as we've had so many strays come and go over the years. We don't love it, but they all go outside (the two older ones were used to that so the two younger ones wanted to do the same as they got older and were miserable being stuck inside, tearing up the house, so we gave in and let them start going out) so they have plenty of space, which I think is helpful in a multi-cat household. Our apartment has a private entrance onto a backyard filled with trees and attached to other yards with the same, so they have space to play (away from the road) even though we live in the city. I assume their presence outside is what attracts the strays. So yeah, we thought Gato would be a fine addition as he was older and spent plenty of time outside as well. And he was ok at first, but once he really got his strength back and got his mouth healthy again, his true personality came out. He is a total alpha male. My cats aren't used to this because none of them are particularly dominant, there really is no "leader," but now Gato wants to be the leader. He is ultra-confident and acts like this house is his and his alone. He does not like to share and has created many problems as he often chases the other cats away from their food bowls and from us. Sometimes he will finish eating but lay in front of the dishes so that the other cats can't come along and eat the rest of the food. Multiple dishes don't really help as then he just prowls from dish to dish! We are so, so happy that this sickly thin cat has been nursed back to health and become such a beautiful, confident, strong cat (he is all muscle and a great hunter- you'd never know he was 12). He is extremely affectionate and has the loudest, strangest purr we have ever heard- and he is particularly attached to me and follows me everywhere and wants to sleep on my head and constantly be petted. So he's not a "bad" cat in any way- but he has some problems.
Even with the aggression and dominant behavior, we were doing ok. We were making headway in getting him to change his behavior and helping all of the cats get along. But then we discovered another problem. I had been telling my husband for months that I thought I smell cat pee in the house and he told me it was all in my head. I LOVE cats, obviously, but one thing I will NOT tolerate is having a cat pee/spray smell in my home. I just am not ok with going out smelling like a cattery or having guests come into our house and smelling that. I always had pets growing up, cats and dogs, and there was NEVER an animal smell in our home- my mom made sure of that. So that's something that is a dealbreaker for me- any bad animal smells. So it turned out the smell was not in my head as a few weeks ago we caught Gato backing up to the trash can and spraying on it!! I was floored! I didn't know that neutered cats were able to spray or that they had any interest in spraying. I've since done research and found out that they can and do spray. But I'm still surprised and confused because we've never had a cat do that- not any of the cats I had as a child or any that I've had as an adult. I mean, we've had cats do it before they were neutered, but never after. And I can't understand why, of all five cats, it is Gato who is doing it! The others are the ones who have had a big change with Gato moving in... but they haven't changed their behavior. Gato in no way seems anxious or stressed- honestly, he just seems like he's being a jerk!! Like he wants to claim the house as his when it's obviously not!
So what do I do?? I want to honor the commitment I made to this cat, but I can't have a cat spraying in my house. A few days ago he backed up to a chair in my bedroom and sprayed on it and my shoes! I can't supervise him whenever he's in the house, but I also don't want to leave him outside all of the time. I spoke to my rescue friend who initially asked us to keep him and her response is that that's just what alpha males do and that you can't change their behavior. That's not an acceptable answer for me because we want to work with him so he can stay with us. He obviously had a tough life and we want him to spend his remaining years in a loving home. However, we don't have a lot of money and can't afford tons of special cleaners and calming collars and plug-ins and sprays and vet visits and cat prozac.... or replacing the things he destroys. It's already a big expense to feed and care for five cats with basic stuff... and additional stuff like monthly doses of Advantage (that's more than one box a month!). I've read suggestions about Feliway.... and we could probably afford to try it, but I certainly can't afford to add it to our monthly expenses. My priority here is to understand WHY Gato is spraying in our house... and what we can do, behaviorally, to help him stop doing it. Is there a way we can change our behavior towards him? At this point, when we see him doing it, he gets yelled at and then put outside for a "time-out." We're not sure what else to do.
If someone could give us some advice, I'd be extremely grateful. We've seen the results of people dumping their pets all too often- we want to do whatever it takes to avoid becoming one of those people. We want to help Gato and keep our household peaceful and smelling fresh! Thanks SO MUCH to anyone who took the time to read all of this... I know it's long.
Jennifer
